My friend held me down
and then puked into my mouth
like a little bird

This vine hanging down
has been teaching me the way
about blueberries

My measures fall short
when all I can muster up
is decaf coffee

I prefer two humps
ruminating past efforts
one of your best ash

the closet camel
most absorbing company
and yet a dry hump

our leader is short
but that's not why i hate him
though there's less to like

anachronistic
digital technology
the old prostate screen

the years ripple by
undulating existence
a splash then damping

Fun recreation
It is so pleasing to see
The master return

Can no longer bear
The wretched mirror image.
Must escape in dreams.

A cloak of pretense
Adorns the psuedo-poet.
Horrid reflection

thumb in ass ref'rence
finds me in throes of guffaw
I praise thee, Bonfire

Humidity is
the devil's brethren, but now
its all gone away

hot rocks in my mouth
the red-faced priest is screaming
the dogs strain their chains

the stars swinging free
the pines moving like women
my thumb in your ass

this dream ends the same
for thousands of short years
over and over

if i was a horse
i'd often be thinking
this is such bullshit

Much thanks going out
appreciation abounds
hurray for Janis

Rudimentary
Searching Capabilities
They have been added

Such clever wordplay
Draws a smile upon my face
I congratulate

Oh my dearest Ash,
You are most hilarious.
All sincerity.

toyworld IVF
barbie wants a family
ken comes in a box

onan was a jerk
and jonah came in a whale
religion is sick

T-Shirts in Series.
Here's the current installment:
Onanism Rules.

No offense, dear Ash.
I, too, comprehend the jest.
Infinite as 'tis.

to communicate
terrorists use their cell phones
and then smoke signals

ring around the moon
a rizla full of posy
and we all fall down

cool running water
tears running down baby face
I felt sick in guts

ruby tripped over
falling towards the fire
little hand was burned

you can count on me
bad haiku five five five damn
let me start again

Glad to see you folks
I knew this would all be back
like a boomarang

(just kidding about the moxie post)

Reign of terror is back
this is better than psychodelic tivo
bring it on, y'all

Terrorist alert
is slowly rising higher
bringing out the worst

A plug for a friend
crazydeathmonkey dot com
his videos rule

My new t-shirt says:
Pharmacology Doth Rule!
Screw the FDA

Tilt head in prayer
lift the bottle way, way up
towards my god's sky

Wish there was a search
can't seem to find the haiku
that I am missing

Found you on the bed
barely making any noise
bound up and ball-gagged

True addictions come
back so effortlessly, rust
falls away quickly

Tilt head in prayer
lift the bottle way, way up
towards the night sky

you can chew on this
don't swallow all that i say
there's often a gag

i mean what i write
ambiguous by intent
so analyse that

i want to go home,
but for now i will just cry:
'why oh why oh why.'

Blakean excess
En route to wisdom's palace.
Dash legislation!

If by take 'em down
You mean ingest with pleasure
I exclaim, "Hurrah!"

pharmaceuticals
when it comes to us or them
time to take 'em down

Oh, hyperbole!
So often misunderstood.
Seek analysis.

perhaps not too good
but that's the trouble with drugs
you can't count on them

paradox of drugs
they can make you feel right bad
even when they're good good

partly crumpled mime
gesticulating wildly
as the truck backs up