Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 347 Days and 77326 Haiku later...

I worship ducks and goats,
(goats are fun at parties) because
I am Farmer Rick, King of Golgotha
Haiku # 28022, March 31, 2003 5:52 pm ET
by "Master" Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I worship cows and pigs,
For I am Farmer Rick,
King of the Free World...
Haiku # 28021, March 31, 2003 5:52 pm ET
by "Master" Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
Where did my computer go?
All I have is my Atari 2600,
And a porno mag....
Haiku # 28020, March 31, 2003 5:51 pm ET
by "Master" Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
scruffy the dog, in my yard,
blammo goes my 22 caliber,
poor ol scruffy...im gonna eat
him for supper
Haiku # 28019, March 31, 2003 5:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
life is like a bowling ball,
you roll down the alley,
and go in the gutter....
Haiku # 28018, March 31, 2003 5:48 pm ET
by richard larson of springfield, il
Isn't all sex just consentual rape
anyway? And isn't your body
something akin to the moist towel
I use to catch my semen, some
thing I can wipe my shame on and
toss to the next man?
Haiku # 28017, March 31, 2003 4:39 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
If Mr. T and
Nell Carter spawned, we'd hear sung
"Don't Jibba Jabba"
Haiku # 28016, March 31, 2003 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh, don't worry about this cigarette
burn, Nurse Betty. It's just how
daddy shows his love.
Haiku # 28015, March 31, 2003 4:33 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Late 60's party:
Sandy Duncan swaps eye with
Sam Davis Jr.
Haiku # 28014, March 31, 2003 4:28 pm ET
by Bubba Zephyr
Sitting in the rest home being
spoon fed baby carrots, he asks
himself what was the point?
School, work, marriage, kids,
retirement, and now doomed to
die in the warehouse alone and
betrayed.
Haiku # 28013, March 31, 2003 4:27 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Scraping away at
The dark underbelly of
Our pitiful lives.
Haiku # 28012, March 31, 2003 4:18 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
"What's she doing hittin me with
a restraining order? I'm gonna go
teach that bitch a lesson!"
Haiku # 28011, March 31, 2003 4:17 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Stalking prying eyes
Pretending to be gentle
Lurking scheming
Cow will get you
Haiku # 28010, March 31, 2003 4:12 pm ET
by searle of in my own stink
Emma
Haiku # 28009, March 31, 2003 4:06 pm ET
by Emma of Toronto
Their moo is evil
It shall frighten you rigid
And they shall eat you
Haiku # 28008, March 31, 2003 3:46 pm ET
by A Student of Ich biß dir die Kehle auf
Saddam has weapons!
Homicidal supercows
They shall destroy you
Haiku # 28007, March 31, 2003 3:45 pm ET
by A Student of Als ich mich über dich erbrach
Excitement of karts--
Old motorcycle engines...
Backpack of POWER.
Haiku # 28006, March 31, 2003 3:06 pm ET
by Frank Grimes
I have a Passport
For Tiger, it's not much money
I want a new car.
Haiku # 28005, March 31, 2003 3:04 pm ET
by Frank Grimes
had an awesome time,
crazy loungin' with my peeps,
and dancin' with rogue.
Haiku # 28004, March 31, 2003 2:05 pm ET
by Cornea Pete
lack of marshmallow "peeps"
makes a man go crazy
sometimes..
Haiku # 28003, March 31, 2003 2:02 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
there goes the weekend,
i really didn't mind it,
waking on the couch.
Haiku # 28002, March 31, 2003 2:01 pm ET
by Cornea Pete
breathing fumes all day
alternately dumb and brilliant
next i paint the phone
Haiku # 28001, March 31, 2003 1:59 pm ET
by thunder stork
i think i'll stop here,
this will be my third haiku,
third to end in "fun".
Haiku # 28000, March 31, 2003 1:57 pm ET
by Cornea Pete
at first a mistake
brush falls out of mouth - fuck it
paint the computer
Haiku # 27999, March 31, 2003 1:56 pm ET
by thunder stork
i'm kinda tired,
it's not from a lack of sleep,
it's the lack of fun.
Haiku # 27998, March 31, 2003 1:56 pm ET
by Cornea Pete
feeling kinda bored,
i think i will learn Spanish,
this should be some fun.
Haiku # 27997, March 31, 2003 1:53 pm ET
by Cornea Pete
may seems not to come
agree about beach vay-kay
will never come home
Haiku # 27996, March 31, 2003 1:36 pm ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
oh,how much longer?!?!
the beach is calling my name
i need my passport
Haiku # 27995, March 31, 2003 1:22 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
Factory farming
Should stop immediately
Freedom for all cows
Haiku # 27994, March 31, 2003 12:27 pm ET
by A Student of Doch dann wurde zu kalt dein Leib
you boring wanker
sexually frustrated
will you drive me nuts
Haiku # 27993, March 31, 2003 12:11 pm ET
by mellie
wanting to skip class
will get my test back today
ready to fail now.
Haiku # 27992, March 31, 2003 11:21 am ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
Busy season rules
Do you think this is a joke?
Better crush your ballzs
Haiku # 27991, March 31, 2003 11:12 am ET
by TD of Toronto
german class today
no one understood a word
damn native speaker
Haiku # 27990, March 31, 2003 11:10 am ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
I can do this too
you will see it in these lines -
the third line as well...
Haiku # 27989, March 31, 2003 9:10 am ET
by guess who of guess where
I like to write stuff
But all words I use are
Monosyllabic
Haiku # 27988, March 31, 2003 8:46 am ET
by Justin Teager of The land of bad haiku
There, that should keep you
Occupied a little while
Stave off your self-doubt
Haiku # 27987, March 31, 2003 1:52 am ET
by William Nippress
Keep them to myself
My brain too little for that
Inflict them on you
Haiku # 27986, March 31, 2003 1:43 am ET
by William Nippress
Please don
Haiku # 27985, March 31, 2003 1:38 am ET
by William Nippress
My Haikus that bad
Looking at most critics work
Theirs are no better
Haiku # 27984, March 31, 2003 1:37 am ET
by William Nippress
Mawkishly sharp sad
Haikus cut me to the bone
Such shame and sorrow
Haiku # 27983, March 31, 2003 1:32 am ET
by William Nippress
Nice to see you back.
Site was lacking BJ works...
Of esquire type.
Haiku # 27982, March 31, 2003 1:00 am ET
by Frank Grimes
weekend ends too soon
good times always pass quickly
i long for more time
Haiku # 27981, March 31, 2003 12:16 am ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
the organ grinder
the monkey cries out at me...
hey...who's throwing poo?
Haiku # 27980, March 31, 2003 12:08 am ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
oh, look over there!
there's a badger with a gun
he will kill us all!
Haiku # 27979, March 31, 2003 12:06 am ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, Tx
All waitresses blend into eachother,
The same blonde hair mixed with
the same padded buttocks, mixed
with the same desperation blowjobs in the storeroom.
Haiku # 27978, March 30, 2003 5:09 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Death is disassembly, so why this
fear of my component parts?
We were nuts and bolts to begin
with, our wholeness was a dream.
Haiku # 27977, March 30, 2003 5:04 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Failure is not a
Temporary set back
It's a way of life.
Haiku # 27976, March 30, 2003 5:01 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
The organ donor
Her hips cry out "I'm ready
For anything."
Haiku # 27975, March 30, 2003 4:57 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
The orangutan
Smoking a cuban cigar,
Wears a monocle
Haiku # 27974, March 30, 2003 4:52 pm ET
by A Student of Ich kaufte dir ein Ledermieder
I see so many colours
I get confused
My skill is young
Haiku # 27973, March 30, 2003 4:20 pm ET
by searle of stupid visual mistakes pty ltd
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