So sick of tuna
No choice but peanut butter
How does dolphin taste?

don't ever forget
the screaming of the dolphins
dying in the nets

missiles launched at night
stumbling NATO officers
pizza is ready

Uncle Wiggley
Was a goddamn phoney, Mac!
My cat's name is Bob

kosovo problems ?
some things never seem to change
final solution ?

Slid on Bunny Poop
Fell down Stairs, CRASh thru window
DAMN EASTER BUNNY!!

good bye lady friend
no more cranial mismatch
just me and Hoover

Crisp grease strip, sizzle!
Crunchy pork, i love you
full flavor:drip fat bliss

Crisp grease strip, sizzle!
Crunchy pork, i love you
flavor:drip fat bliss

dog eating cat shit,
breath like scatophile, now I
give him tube of crest

coffee burns my tongue
like hot molten mocha love
i can't give head now

The world is so black
there is no light left to see
the darkness we share

Gwyneth Paltrow should
have won a second oscar
For her stupid speech

I made a mistake
When I said you were boring
I think I'm in love

those eggs and rabbits
antipodean autumn
jesus on the cross

my axolotl
lost out to some damn disease
yet flushed with success

a fart is a thing
with no remorse or good taste
a smirk on your face

dorals for a buck
the slushy machine proclaims
red dot woman smiles

so long landlady
you suck and so does your house
please go fuck yourself!

My name is Matt Stolz
I am writing a Haiku
It's pretty bad huh?

My name is Matt Stolz
I am writing a Haiku
It's pretty bad huh?

My name is Matt Stolz
I am writing a Haiku
It's pretty bad huh?

Thong G-String Panties
Quick Flash of a Young Girl's Ass
Presidents Nightmare Cum True

Some of this haiku
is disgusting crapola
but it's funny crap.

If it's bad haiku --
twisted, sexy or bitter --
you will find it here.

One Million Watts of
Sheer Maddness Screaming in the
Calm Face of Buddah

One Million Watts of
Sheer Maddness Screaming in the
Calm Face of Buddah

One Million Watts of>Sheer Maddness Screaming in the
Calm Face of Buddah

Yugoslavia
Easter is Resurrection
Bloody Crucifix

Christian Bombers
I Swear GOD Never Again
Yugoslavia

my cock is a man
doesn't care or understand
unusually tan

Beer, Wine, Vodka, Gin
I Swear GOD Never Again
I Want My Mommy

When you climb up the
walls of my ass, I feel your
Spidey-sense tingling.

If a rabbit fucks a chicken
You will get Easter eggs
Yes, you will get Easter eggs.

I ate something weird
four yards of fuzzy blue yarn
now my stomach hurts

I will try again
Puke a lot then grin and grin
My toilet; Meet gin

spring is a new day
jump in the moment of green
pee in the shower

happy pink rabbit
doing cartwheels in my ass
I lay colored eggs

lung recipient
coughed up the donor's sputum
after the transplant

some years ago now
offended my best friend's dad
i puked in his shoes

Everyone my
age is getting married. What
the fuck's wrong with you?

No, I will not go
Out with you. I refuse to
fuck a damn Canuck.

the bald-headed girl
kicked my ass quite savagely
when I killed her cat

I just lost my job
as a joke I put some squirrels
in my boss's car

oh mutant orange
small heads screaming as I peel
to scrotum's texture

anyone girl fromwant to go out please email me

Procrastination.
Don't judge: it's either that or
Masturbation. Damn.

I appreciate
you best when you're far away.
Was that too honest?

My tattoo itches.
I want to scratch it, but can't.
Oh, the suffering.

sure, repeat yourself
damned verbal pinball machine
inside my noggin

She dropped her panties.
Fat folds and fur looked like she'd
sat on a squirrel.