Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77433 Haiku later...

Flaming cat monger
eats own intestine bile juice
vomits green fire chunks
Haiku # 908, December 13, 1998 5:16 pm ET
by Andrew Collins of St. John's, Canada
Stick my finger in
Swirl it around really fucking good
Christ my navel stinks
Haiku # 907, December 12, 1998 10:43 pm ET
by Keith Danoff of Orlando, US
Stick my finger in
Swirl it around realy fucking good
Christ my navel stinks
Haiku # 906, December 12, 1998 10:43 pm ET
by Keith Danoff of Orlando, US
life is good
looking through a Heineken
everything seems pretty green
Haiku # 905, December 12, 1998 9:17 pm ET
by bro xsandy eggo,
White frost on my car
"Shhhk!" I scrape it off with care
Tastes like dirt Slurpee
Haiku # 904, December 12, 1998 1:23 pm ET
by Fastball of Santa Rosa,
Christmas is coming.
The goose is getting fat. You
and that goose both, pal.
Haiku # 903, December 11, 1998 9:33 am ET
by Intern
Bad karma... I must
have raped a bus full of nuns
in a former life.
Haiku # 902, December 11, 1998 9:30 am ET
by Intern
necro, afro the
ebonicon, bloddy
maggots, tampon juice
Haiku # 901, December 11, 1998 7:58 am ET
by Jemel Cherry of Colorado Springs, USA
dammned wankers
street, bus, subway everywhere
hope it falls off
Haiku # 900, December 10, 1998 11:46 pm ET
by dissaffected of wankerville,
That evil laughing
Painted face and razor fangs
"Die, clown, die!" I laugh
Haiku # 899, December 10, 1998 9:49 pm ET
by Pandora In Mind of Erosia, Pluto
I saw a kid get
run over by a cop car
"Yeah, Fuck Him!" I yell
Haiku # 898, December 10, 1998 12:24 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Christmas Party--Boss
declares at midnight:"Pants-free-
Friday tomorrow!!"
Haiku # 897, December 10, 1998 12:21 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
panty worshippers
should organize and raise the funds
to build some churches
Haiku # 896, December 9, 1998 3:21 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
bludgeon the reindeer
drink egg nog from Santa's skull
pistol whip the elves
Haiku # 895, December 9, 1998 2:07 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
go on, beep at me
I'll just trace your licence plate
and poison your dog
Haiku # 894, December 9, 1998 11:33 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
revel in the world
like a 4 year old loves snot
uninhibited
Haiku # 893, December 9, 1998 6:09 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
When you were away
I was happy and at peace
Why did you return?
Haiku # 892, December 9, 1998 1:07 am ET
by AHHT
Photographs revealed:
Was she just happy or was
It just a cold night?
Haiku # 891, December 9, 1998 12:14 am ET
by AHHT
Small, squiggly, green, wet.
It's a really funny word;Eel babies: ELVERS!
Haiku # 890, December 8, 1998 1:28 pm ET
by Oceanography of Seattle,
So this is true love.
My soul-mate: brilliant, likes me...
Cold truth: she's engaged.
Haiku # 889, December 8, 1998 1:19 pm ET
by Intellect Boy of SF,
This early morning
The moon in the sky looks like
A big clipped toenail.
Haiku # 888, December 7, 1998 10:27 am ET
by E.M.
Unassuming girl
Revealed a secret after
Drinking truth serum
Haiku # 887, December 6, 1998 9:36 pm ET
by AHHT
Never kiss and tell
Tales of sex and drunkiness
Feed the rumour mill
Haiku # 886, December 6, 1998 8:39 pm ET
by AHHT
just banging away
thinking about last night's game
ooops, guess she went home.
Haiku # 885, December 6, 1998 4:31 pm ET
by Kadiz
that warm gooshy gash
hides a mouth without teeth
my tongue tells me so
Haiku # 884, December 6, 1998 3:49 pm ET
by Kadiz
spent and then withdrawn
drooping limp and oozing goo
whupped one-eyed soldier
Haiku # 883, December 6, 1998 1:28 pm ET
by Kadiz
limp and exhausted
lying spent dripping fluids
discarded teabag
Haiku # 882, December 6, 1998 5:07 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
I don't want to write
I do not know what to say
Please help me finish
Haiku # 881, December 5, 1998 12:31 pm ET
by Melissa and Tara of Welland, Canada
Read News ev'ry day
searching obituaries
Hoping for her name
Haiku # 880, December 5, 1998 2:25 am ET
by Herbert
Staff Christmas parties
Expose the alcoholics
And make fools of us
Haiku # 879, December 5, 1998 12:25 am ET
by AHHT
Unsensible shoes
Hindered late night marathon
My feet really hurt
Haiku # 878, December 5, 1998 12:19 am ET
by AHHT
my gal is so great
after only one six-pack
she takes out her teeth
Haiku # 877, December 4, 1998 10:07 pm ET
by Kadiz
pardon me, she says
couldn't we do it just once
without the yogurt?
Haiku # 876, December 4, 1998 9:55 pm ET
by Kadiz
oh boy, this is fun!
when I take my finger out
it's wet and gooey!
Haiku # 875, December 4, 1998 9:35 pm ET
by Kadiz
my old bodyparts
no longer cooperate
some of them just drip
Haiku # 874, December 4, 1998 9:24 pm ET
by Kadiz
Onetwo threefourfive;
onetwothree fourfivesix.
One twothreefour.

Oh shit.
Haiku # 873, December 4, 1998 12:39 pm ET
by Fenris Paddipaugh of USA
Wow! Great party your
Holiness. Loved your glass-topped
Coffee table trick.
Haiku # 872, December 4, 1998 10:32 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
They bore the pontiff
Up to the gallows, chanting:
"It's pope on a rope!!"
Haiku # 871, December 4, 1998 9:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
investigating
unscientifically
can't prove anything
Haiku # 870, December 4, 1998 4:56 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Flakes corn flakes corn flakes
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Haiku # 869, December 4, 1998 12:40 am ET
by Vivian of London, UK
God to the Pope: "Put
something on under that robe,
or it's Hell for you"
Haiku # 868, December 3, 1998 4:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Pope themes: a tattoo
I may get... Richard Nixon
butt-fucking the pope.
Haiku # 867, December 3, 1998 3:46 pm ET
by Intern
If asked to work the
holidays, reply, "Does the
pope shit in the woods?".
Haiku # 866, December 3, 1998 3:34 pm ET
by Intern
Network Nazis block
web-sites: "Production will drop!!"
So I call in sick
Haiku # 865, December 3, 1998 2:33 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
The cruel void is deaf,
said Existentio the Clown.
"Kids! Stop snivelling!"
Haiku # 864, December 3, 1998 1:41 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A man walks into
A bar. He well understands
Zen paradoxes.
Haiku # 863, December 3, 1998 12:04 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Two nuns in a bath.
One nun says to the other:
"Let's trash the punch line."
Haiku # 862, December 3, 1998 11:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
while making a point
the old man threw his new hat
into the river
Haiku # 861, December 3, 1998 11:21 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
remind your children
under all that pretty meat
scary skeletons
Haiku # 860, December 3, 1998 11:20 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I went to the zoo
and saw them eat Wonder-Bread!
Poor, poor sad hippos.
Haiku # 859, December 2, 1998 9:32 pm ET
by no-one of Lansing, USA
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >