Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

I don't want to write
I do not know what to say
Please help me finish
Haiku # 881, December 5, 1998 12:31 pm ET
by Melissa and Tara of Welland, Canada
Read News ev'ry day
searching obituaries
Hoping for her name
Haiku # 880, December 5, 1998 2:25 am ET
by Herbert
Staff Christmas parties
Expose the alcoholics
And make fools of us
Haiku # 879, December 5, 1998 12:25 am ET
by AHHT
Unsensible shoes
Hindered late night marathon
My feet really hurt
Haiku # 878, December 5, 1998 12:19 am ET
by AHHT
my gal is so great
after only one six-pack
she takes out her teeth
Haiku # 877, December 4, 1998 10:07 pm ET
by Kadiz
pardon me, she says
couldn't we do it just once
without the yogurt?
Haiku # 876, December 4, 1998 9:55 pm ET
by Kadiz
oh boy, this is fun!
when I take my finger out
it's wet and gooey!
Haiku # 875, December 4, 1998 9:35 pm ET
by Kadiz
my old bodyparts
no longer cooperate
some of them just drip
Haiku # 874, December 4, 1998 9:24 pm ET
by Kadiz
Onetwo threefourfive;
onetwothree fourfivesix.
One twothreefour.

Oh shit.
Haiku # 873, December 4, 1998 12:39 pm ET
by Fenris Paddipaugh of USA
Wow! Great party your
Holiness. Loved your glass-topped
Coffee table trick.
Haiku # 872, December 4, 1998 10:32 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
They bore the pontiff
Up to the gallows, chanting:
"It's pope on a rope!!"
Haiku # 871, December 4, 1998 9:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
investigating
unscientifically
can't prove anything
Haiku # 870, December 4, 1998 4:56 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Flakes corn flakes corn flakes
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Haiku # 869, December 4, 1998 12:40 am ET
by Vivian of London, UK
God to the Pope: "Put
something on under that robe,
or it's Hell for you"
Haiku # 868, December 3, 1998 4:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Pope themes: a tattoo
I may get... Richard Nixon
butt-fucking the pope.
Haiku # 867, December 3, 1998 3:46 pm ET
by Intern
If asked to work the
holidays, reply, "Does the
pope shit in the woods?".
Haiku # 866, December 3, 1998 3:34 pm ET
by Intern
Network Nazis block
web-sites: "Production will drop!!"
So I call in sick
Haiku # 865, December 3, 1998 2:33 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
The cruel void is deaf,
said Existentio the Clown.
"Kids! Stop snivelling!"
Haiku # 864, December 3, 1998 1:41 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A man walks into
A bar. He well understands
Zen paradoxes.
Haiku # 863, December 3, 1998 12:04 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Two nuns in a bath.
One nun says to the other:
"Let's trash the punch line."
Haiku # 862, December 3, 1998 11:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
while making a point
the old man threw his new hat
into the river
Haiku # 861, December 3, 1998 11:21 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
remind your children
under all that pretty meat
scary skeletons
Haiku # 860, December 3, 1998 11:20 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I went to the zoo
and saw them eat Wonder-Bread!
Poor, poor sad hippos.
Haiku # 859, December 2, 1998 9:32 pm ET
by no-one of Lansing, USA
I am just showing
My mom how forms work on this
Silly internet
Haiku # 858, December 2, 1998 8:04 pm ET
by Haiku Mast'r of Canada
acalculia
i ponder the mystery
as i tap my desk
Haiku # 857, December 2, 1998 7:49 pm ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
cremated showman
past prestidigitator
vanishing in a puff
Haiku # 856, December 2, 1998 7:46 pm ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
exploring the lost
continents of uranus
may well reveal shit
Haiku # 855, December 2, 1998 7:15 pm ET
by ashley of sydney,Oz
Ginkgo Biloba Give me brains of alien I work in I.T.
Haiku # 854, December 2, 1998 6:33 pm ET
by AHHT
Phoenix, rainy day --
Happens once every four months --
Shut up, stop whining.
Haiku # 853, December 2, 1998 3:55 pm ET
by AlleyCat of Tuscon, USA
this is my haiku
my haiku sucks very much
oh well that's okay
Haiku # 852, December 2, 1998 11:39 am ET
by Andrea Lane of Shit town, USA
Chronic whiners, you
may NOT cheer in the good times
I will not have it


ps touchdown, bledsoe
Haiku # 851, December 2, 1998 10:09 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Open your present
No, please, you open your gift
Kazcinski Christmas
Haiku # 850, December 2, 1998 9:56 am ET
by snotdog of newark, au
Fearlessly we pitch
Ourselves naked into the
Squid-filled pond liner
Haiku # 849, December 2, 1998 9:40 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
receptionist smirks
at my magazine; she knows
I'll be crapping soon
Haiku # 848, December 1, 1998 5:40 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Homecomeing Hero!
Triumphant, brave, strong and true
Fuck Flutie Magic
Haiku # 847, December 1, 1998 2:48 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Reading on the train
"This Side of Paradise"--shake
my head, mutter: "broads"
Haiku # 846, December 1, 1998 2:35 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
reincarnation
come back as a leotard
extra-large, uh-oh
Haiku # 845, December 1, 1998 2:33 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
first Dennis Rodman
then I get sloppy seconds
your mom's a party
Haiku # 844, December 1, 1998 11:37 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
good morning sunshine
good morning grey underwear
good morning bong hit
Haiku # 843, December 1, 1998 9:49 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Cryogenic sleep
Defrost me when this fucking
Swing fad is over
Haiku # 842, November 30, 1998 5:27 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Give me a break!
Blues, brother
Knight of despair
Haiku # 841, November 30, 1998 4:11 pm ET
by Mathew of aachen, Germoney
My hair is falling
Out in clumps like willow leaves.
Lousy isotopes!
Haiku # 840, November 30, 1998 11:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
My hair is falling
Out in clumps like willow leaves.
Lousy isotopes!
Haiku # 839, November 30, 1998 11:55 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Dear Hollywood, if
Your monkey won't perform, is
It fair to spank it?
Haiku # 838, November 30, 1998 9:31 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Ambulance chasing
Nina Simone, I saw her
Live. She was, barely.
Haiku # 837, November 30, 1998 9:03 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
So many shoppers,
So few rounds, so little time.
I'm so unlucky.
Haiku # 836, November 30, 1998 7:00 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Unwary targets
Below: Rounds left at home. That's
Just so typical.
Haiku # 835, November 30, 1998 6:24 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Thank you to Janis
For this bad haiku website
I really dig it
Haiku # 834, November 30, 1998 12:58 am ET
by Anna
Fashion disaster
Why are you back on the streets?
Cut off bell bottoms.
Haiku # 833, November 29, 1998 7:26 pm ET
by Donald Fallin, Psy.D. of Santa Rosa,
Alcole
When no goal
fills headhole
Haiku # 832, November 29, 1998 1:19 pm ET
by Mattie of Aachen, germoney
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