Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

Dear Hollywood, if
Your monkey won't perform, is
It fair to spank it?
Haiku # 838, November 30, 1998 9:31 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Ambulance chasing
Nina Simone, I saw her
Live. She was, barely.
Haiku # 837, November 30, 1998 9:03 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
So many shoppers,
So few rounds, so little time.
I'm so unlucky.
Haiku # 836, November 30, 1998 7:00 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Unwary targets
Below: Rounds left at home. That's
Just so typical.
Haiku # 835, November 30, 1998 6:24 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Thank you to Janis
For this bad haiku website
I really dig it
Haiku # 834, November 30, 1998 12:58 am ET
by Anna
Fashion disaster
Why are you back on the streets?
Cut off bell bottoms.
Haiku # 833, November 29, 1998 7:26 pm ET
by Donald Fallin, Psy.D. of Santa Rosa,
Alcole
When no goal
fills headhole
Haiku # 832, November 29, 1998 1:19 pm ET
by Mattie of Aachen, germoney
Haiku # 831, November 29, 1998 1:11 pm ET
by Mattie of Aachen, germoney
Roman mothers said
"Ubi bubi sub-ubi"
Always wear underwear
Haiku # 830, November 28, 1998 3:18 pm ET
by Nunya BidnessHere,
Consultants Arise!
Nothing to lose but our brains
Let's all go postal.
Haiku # 829, November 28, 1998 3:12 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Houston
Midnight at Wal-Mart:
"Get your own fucking Furby
'Cos I was here first!"
Haiku # 828, November 28, 1998 8:15 am ET
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
Christmas Eve taste treat
Reindeer meat good on the grill
But a bit gamey
Haiku # 827, November 28, 1998 8:13 am ET
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
I tied up Santa
Capped him in back of the head
Execution style
Haiku # 826, November 28, 1998 8:07 am ET
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
my patient freaked out
during the venepuncture
and bent the needle
Haiku # 825, November 28, 1998 5:17 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
work here ten years
they'll drill a hole in your desk
and let you fuck it
Haiku # 824, November 28, 1998 3:39 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
think its illegal
to teach a monkey how to
give humans handjobs?
Haiku # 823, November 28, 1998 3:29 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
My eyes really hurt
From the smoke filled room last night
Guess I shouldn't smoke
Haiku # 822, November 28, 1998 1:40 am ET
by AHHT
Nine volt battery
In my mouth on Saturday
Is extra heavy duty
Haiku # 821, November 28, 1998 1:37 am ET
by eRNIE wORKMAN of Charleston, USA
A slave to the drink
Days and nights never ending
Need a second wind
Haiku # 820, November 28, 1998 1:25 am ET
by AHHT
What does one call a
Piece of cheese that belongs to
One's friend? Nach yo' cheeze!
Haiku # 819, November 27, 1998 11:11 pm ET
by Ivana Sleepvityu of Bugnozville, Bugnozogovena
I've got blisters. I
Must stop pulling myself off
During working hours.
Haiku # 818, November 27, 1998 10:19 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
If it weren't for guys
like me I would never be
able to say that
Haiku # 817, November 27, 1998 10:02 am ET
by Eddie Futch
It's the day after
I'm the only one at work
Check out Ladie's Room
Haiku # 816, November 27, 1998 9:13 am ET
by Eddie Futch
I honestly hope
that the next time I see you,
you somehow catch fire
Haiku # 815, November 27, 1998 9:11 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Go away teachers
How much I'd like to kill you
All these years wasted!!!
Haiku # 814, November 26, 1998 10:11 pm ET
by aj;ghajdhga;k
Jesus and Elvis
Are painted on black velvet.
Are they the same guy?
Haiku # 813, November 26, 1998 7:07 pm ET
by Nunya BidnessGraceland, Israel
I can't count -- big shit
Five, seven, five syllables?
Hey, it's bad haiku.
Haiku # 812, November 26, 1998 6:26 pm ET
by Nunya BidnessOn the Bayou,
A helium-filled
Hindenburg: "Oh the human-
Hey! I'm Mickey Mouse!"
Haiku # 811, November 26, 1998 6:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A dingo ate my
Baby!
Sparklingly novel As excuses go.
Haiku # 810, November 26, 1998 6:20 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Sometimes I wonder
Where did we go, what went wrong?
I guess it's over.
Haiku # 809, November 26, 1998 6:10 am ET
by Anna
Tortured girl is she
Searching for answers not found
Why not look within?
Haiku # 808, November 26, 1998 6:04 am ET
by ylilregithh
God I love the beats
God I love San Francisco
Vesuvio Bar!!!
Haiku # 807, November 26, 1998 6:00 am ET
by Anna
I tried to e-mail
gloriously bad haiku
"Transfer Interrupt!" Shit.
Haiku # 806, November 26, 1998 12:22 am ET
by Nunya Bidness of Whereever,
She loved my poems,
poured me drinks and never bitched.
I should have kept her.
Haiku # 805, November 25, 1998 11:23 pm ET
by bakai
I am so damn bored -- Changed my internet home page to Heaven's Gate Web Site.
Haiku # 804, November 25, 1998 11:14 pm ET
by Nunya Bidness of Hale-Bopp, Galaxy
SHE SMELL SO BAD YES
I ALMOST NOT EAT
OK SHE FINE NOW!
Haiku # 803, November 25, 1998 9:25 pm ET
by OWLMAN of kc, usa
look out the window
can the weatherman predict
better than tarot?
Haiku # 802, November 25, 1998 8:37 pm ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
pass them fuckin peas
pass them fuckin potatoes
happy thanksgiving
Haiku # 801, November 25, 1998 1:33 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Toilet is broken
Landlady is so lazy
I pee in her yard
Haiku # 800, November 25, 1998 5:25 am ET
by Jim of Gadsden, USA
Ice Cold Forty Ounce
Piss Puke Cum Sleep Cigarette
Quench Dark phallic Thirst
Haiku # 799, November 24, 1998 8:30 pm ET
by Mack Rodbro of Chi-Town, USA
Marriage bonds don't last,
But a year, or sometimes two
Let's use Super Glue!
Haiku # 798, November 24, 1998 4:05 pm ET
by P.Keller
Isolation air
table breathes like Darth Vader
when you lean on it.
Haiku # 797, November 24, 1998 2:55 pm ET
by Intern
Internet porn, thou
art a villainous scourge 'pon
my soul. And too slow.
Haiku # 796, November 24, 1998 1:51 pm ET
by Intern
smelled my chair's cushion
after working here two years
please infer the rest
Haiku # 795, November 24, 1998 11:59 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
dear Agent Scully
you're so hot I'd volunteer
for an autopsy
Haiku # 794, November 23, 1998 3:23 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Lenny Kravitz, I
want you to get away too
Fly far away. Now.
Haiku # 793, November 23, 1998 11:02 am ET
by Intern
Covered in cow drool
Today I learnt to ignore
Yesterday
Haiku # 792, November 23, 1998 6:22 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London , UK
solid gold auto six hundred feet per gallon gets soft in the sun
Haiku # 791, November 23, 1998 1:12 am ET
by HB
Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain
Easier to face winter
If planning Mex trip
Haiku # 790, November 22, 1998 11:41 pm ET
by Alex of No City,
Rev'rund Jim nicht Deutsch
Arbeit Macht Frei. Was Arben?
Arbey's macht Roast Beef
Haiku # 789, November 22, 1998 11:36 pm ET
by Alex
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