Consultants Arise!
Nothing to lose but our brains
Let's all go postal.
by Nunya Bidness of Houston
Midnight at Wal-Mart:
"Get your own fucking Furby
'Cos I was here first!"
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
Christmas Eve taste treat
Reindeer meat good on the grill
But a bit gamey
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
I tied up Santa
Capped him in back of the head
Execution style
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
my patient freaked out
during the venepuncture
and bent the needle
by ashley of sydney, Oz
work here ten years
they'll drill a hole in your desk
and let you fuck it
by Hollywood Bonfire
think its illegal
to teach a monkey how to
give humans handjobs?
by Hollywood Bonfire
My eyes really hurt
From the smoke filled room last night
Guess I shouldn't smoke
by AHHT
Nine volt battery
In my mouth on Saturday
Is extra heavy duty
by eRNIE wORKMAN of Charleston, USA
A slave to the drink
Days and nights never ending
Need a second wind
by AHHT
What does one call a
Piece of cheese that belongs to
One's friend? Nach yo' cheeze!
by Ivana Sleepvityu of Bugnozville, Bugnozogovena
I've got blisters. I
Must stop pulling myself off
During working hours.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
If it weren't for guys
like me I would never be
able to say that
by Eddie Futch
It's the day after
I'm the only one at work
Check out Ladie's Room
by Eddie Futch
I honestly hope
that the next time I see you,
you somehow catch fire
by Eddie Futch
Go away teachers
How much I'd like to kill you
All these years wasted!!!
by aj;ghajdhga;k
Jesus and Elvis
Are painted on black velvet.
Are they the same guy?
by Nunya BidnessGraceland, Israel
I can't count -- big shit
Five, seven, five syllables?
Hey, it's bad haiku.
by Nunya BidnessOn the Bayou,
A helium-filled
Hindenburg: "Oh the human-
Hey! I'm Mickey Mouse!"
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A dingo ate my
Baby!
Sparklingly novel As excuses go.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Sometimes I wonder
Where did we go, what went wrong?
I guess it's over.
by Anna
Tortured girl is she
Searching for answers not found
Why not look within?
by ylilregithh
God I love the beats
God I love San Francisco
Vesuvio Bar!!!
by Anna
I tried to e-mail
gloriously bad haiku
"Transfer Interrupt!" Shit.
by Nunya Bidness of Whereever,
She loved my poems,
poured me drinks and never bitched.
I should have kept her.
by bakai
I am so damn bored -- Changed my internet home page to Heaven's Gate Web Site.
by Nunya Bidness of Hale-Bopp, Galaxy
SHE SMELL SO BAD YES
I ALMOST NOT EAT
OK SHE FINE NOW!
by OWLMAN of kc, usa
look out the window
can the weatherman predict
better than tarot?
by ashley of sydney, Oz
pass them fuckin peas
pass them fuckin potatoes
happy thanksgiving
by Hollywood Bonfire
Toilet is broken
Landlady is so lazy
I pee in her yard
by Jim of Gadsden, USA
Ice Cold Forty Ounce
Piss Puke Cum Sleep Cigarette
Quench Dark phallic Thirst
by Mack Rodbro of Chi-Town, USA
Marriage bonds don't last,
But a year, or sometimes two
Let's use Super Glue!
by P.Keller
Isolation air
table breathes like Darth Vader
when you lean on it.
by Intern
Internet porn, thou
art a villainous scourge 'pon
my soul. And too slow.
by Intern
smelled my chair's cushion
after working here two years
please infer the rest
by Hollywood Bonfire
dear Agent Scully
you're so hot I'd volunteer
for an autopsy
by Hollywood Bonfire
Lenny Kravitz, I
want you to get away too
Fly far away. Now.
by Intern
Covered in cow drool
Today I learnt to ignore
Yesterday
by Reverend Jim of London , UK
solid gold auto six hundred feet per gallon gets soft in the sun
by HB
Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain
Easier to face winter
If planning Mex trip
by Alex of No City,
Rev'rund Jim nicht Deutsch
Arbeit Macht Frei. Was Arben?
Arbey's macht Roast Beef
by Alex
Lie down in a field.
Cows will come up to lick you.
Why won
by Reverend Jim of London , UK
Sing with dyslexics:
by Reverend Jim of Jonestown, Guatemala
pull on the joystick
feeding up elevator
as i soar skywards
by ashley of sydney, Oz
There are many fish
in the sea but I am not
a fisher man though
by Elubia Oomfufu Phalange
in throes of passion
although it wasn't my aim
i fucked my back
by ashley of sydney, Oz
Some of these haiku
are cleaver or erotic
others, just profane
by L. D. A. of Cloverdale, USA
Stop complaining, eh?
It'll get you nowhere fast
You're just a fuckwit
by Anna
Sit! Sit, dammit Sit!
Sit down! Sit! Want a treat? Sit!!!
All right, fuck you, Ma
by Eddie Futch
Dismiss frustration
Strike at grand truths throughfits of
Curiosity
by Eddie Futch
