Bad Haiku
Ginkgo Biloba Give me brains of alien I work in I.T.
by AHHT
Phoenix, rainy day --
Happens once every four months --
Shut up, stop whining.
by AlleyCat of Tuscon, USA
this is my haiku
my haiku sucks very much
oh well that's okay
by Andrea Lane of Shit town, USA
Chronic whiners, you
may NOT cheer in the good times
I will not have it
ps touchdown, bledsoe
by Eddie Futch
Open your present
No, please, you open your gift
Kazcinski Christmas
by snotdog of newark, au
Fearlessly we pitch
Ourselves naked into the
Squid-filled pond liner
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
receptionist smirks
at my magazine; she knows
I'll be crapping soon
by Hollywood Bonfire
Homecomeing Hero!
Triumphant, brave, strong and true
Fuck Flutie Magic
by Eddie Futch
Reading on the train
"This Side of Paradise"--shake
my head, mutter: "broads"
by Eddie Futch
reincarnation
come back as a leotard
extra-large, uh-oh
by Hollywood Bonfire
first Dennis Rodman
then I get sloppy seconds
your mom's a party
by Hollywood Bonfire
good morning sunshine
good morning grey underwear
good morning bong hit
by Hollywood Bonfire
Cryogenic sleep
Defrost me when this fucking
Swing fad is over
by Eddie Futch
Give me a break!
Blues, brother
Knight of despair
by Mathew of aachen, Germoney
My hair is falling
Out in clumps like willow leaves.
Lousy isotopes!
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
My hair is falling
Out in clumps like willow leaves.
Lousy isotopes!
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Dear Hollywood, if
Your monkey won't perform, is
It fair to spank it?
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Ambulance chasing
Nina Simone, I saw her
Live. She was, barely.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
So many shoppers,
So few rounds, so little time.
I'm so unlucky.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Unwary targets
Below: Rounds left at home. That's
Just so typical.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Thank you to Janis
For this bad haiku website
I really dig it
by Anna
Fashion disaster
Why are you back on the streets?
Cut off bell bottoms.
by Donald Fallin, Psy.D. of Santa Rosa,
Alcole
When no goal
fills headhole
by Mattie of Aachen, germoney
by Mattie of Aachen, germoney
Roman mothers said
"Ubi bubi sub-ubi"
Always wear underwear
by Nunya BidnessHere,
Consultants Arise!
Nothing to lose but our brains
Let's all go postal.
by Nunya Bidness of Houston
Midnight at Wal-Mart:
"Get your own fucking Furby
'Cos I was here first!"
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
Christmas Eve taste treat
Reindeer meat good on the grill
But a bit gamey
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
I tied up Santa
Capped him in back of the head
Execution style
by Reverend Vodka of Nashville, US
my patient freaked out
during the venepuncture
and bent the needle
by ashley of sydney, Oz
work here ten years
they'll drill a hole in your desk
and let you fuck it
by Hollywood Bonfire
think its illegal
to teach a monkey how to
give humans handjobs?
by Hollywood Bonfire
My eyes really hurt
From the smoke filled room last night
Guess I shouldn't smoke
by AHHT
Nine volt battery
In my mouth on Saturday
Is extra heavy duty
by eRNIE wORKMAN of Charleston, USA
A slave to the drink
Days and nights never ending
Need a second wind
by AHHT
What does one call a
Piece of cheese that belongs to
One's friend? Nach yo' cheeze!
by Ivana Sleepvityu of Bugnozville, Bugnozogovena
I've got blisters. I
Must stop pulling myself off
During working hours.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
If it weren't for guys
like me I would never be
able to say that
by Eddie Futch
It's the day after
I'm the only one at work
Check out Ladie's Room
by Eddie Futch
I honestly hope
that the next time I see you,
you somehow catch fire
by Eddie Futch
Go away teachers
How much I'd like to kill you
All these years wasted!!!
by aj;ghajdhga;k
Jesus and Elvis
Are painted on black velvet.
Are they the same guy?
by Nunya BidnessGraceland, Israel
I can't count -- big shit
Five, seven, five syllables?
Hey, it's bad haiku.
by Nunya BidnessOn the Bayou,
A helium-filled
Hindenburg: "Oh the human-
Hey! I'm Mickey Mouse!"
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A dingo ate my
Baby!
Sparklingly novel As excuses go.
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Sometimes I wonder
Where did we go, what went wrong?
I guess it's over.
by Anna
Tortured girl is she
Searching for answers not found
Why not look within?
by ylilregithh
God I love the beats
God I love San Francisco
Vesuvio Bar!!!
by Anna
I tried to e-mail
gloriously bad haiku
"Transfer Interrupt!" Shit.
by Nunya Bidness of Whereever,
She loved my poems,
poured me drinks and never bitched.
I should have kept her.
by bakai
