Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

go on, beep at me
I'll just trace your licence plate
and poison your dog
Haiku # 894, December 9, 1998 11:33 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
revel in the world
like a 4 year old loves snot
uninhibited
Haiku # 893, December 9, 1998 6:09 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
When you were away
I was happy and at peace
Why did you return?
Haiku # 892, December 9, 1998 1:07 am ET
by AHHT
Photographs revealed:
Was she just happy or was
It just a cold night?
Haiku # 891, December 9, 1998 12:14 am ET
by AHHT
Small, squiggly, green, wet.
It's a really funny word;Eel babies: ELVERS!
Haiku # 890, December 8, 1998 1:28 pm ET
by Oceanography of Seattle,
So this is true love.
My soul-mate: brilliant, likes me...
Cold truth: she's engaged.
Haiku # 889, December 8, 1998 1:19 pm ET
by Intellect Boy of SF,
This early morning
The moon in the sky looks like
A big clipped toenail.
Haiku # 888, December 7, 1998 10:27 am ET
by E.M.
Unassuming girl
Revealed a secret after
Drinking truth serum
Haiku # 887, December 6, 1998 9:36 pm ET
by AHHT
Never kiss and tell
Tales of sex and drunkiness
Feed the rumour mill
Haiku # 886, December 6, 1998 8:39 pm ET
by AHHT
just banging away
thinking about last night's game
ooops, guess she went home.
Haiku # 885, December 6, 1998 4:31 pm ET
by Kadiz
that warm gooshy gash
hides a mouth without teeth
my tongue tells me so
Haiku # 884, December 6, 1998 3:49 pm ET
by Kadiz
spent and then withdrawn
drooping limp and oozing goo
whupped one-eyed soldier
Haiku # 883, December 6, 1998 1:28 pm ET
by Kadiz
limp and exhausted
lying spent dripping fluids
discarded teabag
Haiku # 882, December 6, 1998 5:07 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
I don't want to write
I do not know what to say
Please help me finish
Haiku # 881, December 5, 1998 12:31 pm ET
by Melissa and Tara of Welland, Canada
Read News ev'ry day
searching obituaries
Hoping for her name
Haiku # 880, December 5, 1998 2:25 am ET
by Herbert
Staff Christmas parties
Expose the alcoholics
And make fools of us
Haiku # 879, December 5, 1998 12:25 am ET
by AHHT
Unsensible shoes
Hindered late night marathon
My feet really hurt
Haiku # 878, December 5, 1998 12:19 am ET
by AHHT
my gal is so great
after only one six-pack
she takes out her teeth
Haiku # 877, December 4, 1998 10:07 pm ET
by Kadiz
pardon me, she says
couldn't we do it just once
without the yogurt?
Haiku # 876, December 4, 1998 9:55 pm ET
by Kadiz
oh boy, this is fun!
when I take my finger out
it's wet and gooey!
Haiku # 875, December 4, 1998 9:35 pm ET
by Kadiz
my old bodyparts
no longer cooperate
some of them just drip
Haiku # 874, December 4, 1998 9:24 pm ET
by Kadiz
Onetwo threefourfive;
onetwothree fourfivesix.
One twothreefour.

Oh shit.
Haiku # 873, December 4, 1998 12:39 pm ET
by Fenris Paddipaugh of USA
Wow! Great party your
Holiness. Loved your glass-topped
Coffee table trick.
Haiku # 872, December 4, 1998 10:32 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
They bore the pontiff
Up to the gallows, chanting:
"It's pope on a rope!!"
Haiku # 871, December 4, 1998 9:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
investigating
unscientifically
can't prove anything
Haiku # 870, December 4, 1998 4:56 am ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Flakes corn flakes corn flakes
Corn flakes corn flakes corn
Haiku # 869, December 4, 1998 12:40 am ET
by Vivian of London, UK
God to the Pope: "Put
something on under that robe,
or it's Hell for you"
Haiku # 868, December 3, 1998 4:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Pope themes: a tattoo
I may get... Richard Nixon
butt-fucking the pope.
Haiku # 867, December 3, 1998 3:46 pm ET
by Intern
If asked to work the
holidays, reply, "Does the
pope shit in the woods?".
Haiku # 866, December 3, 1998 3:34 pm ET
by Intern
Network Nazis block
web-sites: "Production will drop!!"
So I call in sick
Haiku # 865, December 3, 1998 2:33 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
The cruel void is deaf,
said Existentio the Clown.
"Kids! Stop snivelling!"
Haiku # 864, December 3, 1998 1:41 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
A man walks into
A bar. He well understands
Zen paradoxes.
Haiku # 863, December 3, 1998 12:04 pm ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
Two nuns in a bath.
One nun says to the other:
"Let's trash the punch line."
Haiku # 862, December 3, 1998 11:56 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
while making a point
the old man threw his new hat
into the river
Haiku # 861, December 3, 1998 11:21 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
remind your children
under all that pretty meat
scary skeletons
Haiku # 860, December 3, 1998 11:20 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I went to the zoo
and saw them eat Wonder-Bread!
Poor, poor sad hippos.
Haiku # 859, December 2, 1998 9:32 pm ET
by no-one of Lansing, USA
I am just showing
My mom how forms work on this
Silly internet
Haiku # 858, December 2, 1998 8:04 pm ET
by Haiku Mast'r of Canada
acalculia
i ponder the mystery
as i tap my desk
Haiku # 857, December 2, 1998 7:49 pm ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
cremated showman
past prestidigitator
vanishing in a puff
Haiku # 856, December 2, 1998 7:46 pm ET
by ashley of sydney, Oz
exploring the lost
continents of uranus
may well reveal shit
Haiku # 855, December 2, 1998 7:15 pm ET
by ashley of sydney,Oz
Ginkgo Biloba Give me brains of alien I work in I.T.
Haiku # 854, December 2, 1998 6:33 pm ET
by AHHT
Phoenix, rainy day --
Happens once every four months --
Shut up, stop whining.
Haiku # 853, December 2, 1998 3:55 pm ET
by AlleyCat of Tuscon, USA
this is my haiku
my haiku sucks very much
oh well that's okay
Haiku # 852, December 2, 1998 11:39 am ET
by Andrea Lane of Shit town, USA
Chronic whiners, you
may NOT cheer in the good times
I will not have it


ps touchdown, bledsoe
Haiku # 851, December 2, 1998 10:09 am ET
by Eddie Futch
Open your present
No, please, you open your gift
Kazcinski Christmas
Haiku # 850, December 2, 1998 9:56 am ET
by snotdog of newark, au
Fearlessly we pitch
Ourselves naked into the
Squid-filled pond liner
Haiku # 849, December 2, 1998 9:40 am ET
by Reverend Jim of London, UK
receptionist smirks
at my magazine; she knows
I'll be crapping soon
Haiku # 848, December 1, 1998 5:40 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Homecomeing Hero!
Triumphant, brave, strong and true
Fuck Flutie Magic
Haiku # 847, December 1, 1998 2:48 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Reading on the train
"This Side of Paradise"--shake
my head, mutter: "broads"
Haiku # 846, December 1, 1998 2:35 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
reincarnation
come back as a leotard
extra-large, uh-oh
Haiku # 845, December 1, 1998 2:33 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
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