El Dolor es como boca.
En la trompa y la boca, el
corazon es como mi trompa

masterwhacking and
monsterjacking in my new
ovaltine jumpsuit

jackin ta kathy?
that's like a woman jackin'
off to mister T

see me masturbate
whack whack whack whack whack whack whack
i love kathie lee

the crawling chaos
creeping closer to your mind
Nyarlathotep

Janis - do not fret
My house burned down last August
still not moved back in

When does it all end?
Living out of some boxes
I must find a home

I have I C Q
six five five zero five two
Can I hear from you?

chafing, the meaty
tube of salami slams me
i grope blindly, help!

I'm too sexy for
this bad haiku. Too sexy
for all of you too!

What are you doing?!?!
Drinking an import, watching
the market report.

Copy D-N-A?
ribonucleic acid
R-N-A That's how!

My ass cheese awaits
For Drophammer to eat it
Yum, Yum, I want some.

previous santa?
with lots of culotte problems?
are you committed?

I have a headache
Searing pain in my eyeballs
I'm going home now

santo previo
con problemas de culo

length only matters
in the Japanese Haiku
English tells to much

the evil i wrought!
five-seven-five. other bad
poems go elsewhere.

What the hell is this?
United Nations haiku?
Damn Global Econ.

Check your second lines
carefully Grog. They often
have more than you want.

grog, they lied
it IS important.
listen not

No estoy bueno
mis pantalones sucio
es de mi culo

length is not
important, only you.
tell someone.

enamorado
las chicas me encantan
yo quiero amor

wo die Eselsmischmaschine ist, die mich in der Nacht mit K

fire, mom, cats, taco
cool...haiku in spanish.. lets
call that stuff "spaiku"

gibbering nonsense
unrelated actions in words
confusion is here

i have a big zit
it screams in pain and redness
wipe the mirror clean

i am a rebel.
rules can never control me.
six syllables, who cares!

mi mono frota
con gatos en mi taco
madre enfuego

neanderthal dude
australopithecene chick
post-modern-baby

Priests and cannibals
Prehistoric animals
Happy dead come home

I will be back soon
I must bury a quaker
relief on the way!

well gooney goo goo!
goodness gracious! golly gee
willickers! gosh gosh!

hyperthermophiles
very interesting word
heat loving creatures

sorry...wrong mellie
it's my silly name for my
cut watermelon

Mellie is stuffed in
my basement in a trash bag
mu ha ha ha ha

might need a new job
this one boring. Can I come
stay with you mellie?

Bump on head. Ouch! Fell
asleep at work desk. Mellie
kiss and make better?

I'm iller than jack
in that cuckoo's nest movie.
watch me dance, baby

the spicy food hurts
i want to stop but it keeps
pushing, pushing. OW!

The porcelain throne
calls yet again. NAY! NO MORE!...
Hemorrhoids be gone.

Powerful nuggets
place dew droplets on my ass
awakening me.

The log is followed
by a fart. A smell follows
the fart. Sweet nature!

I fill the toilet
the water is displaced by
my chocolate glacier

floaters are wimpy
real men crap real fecal stuff
powerful nuggets

A morning surprise.
Runny? Solid? Thick? Thin? Light?
Dark? Look, a floater!!!

awaiting blissful
time on the porcelain throne
i think of past sh*ts

Oh Stenchie, stank muse
Percolating muddy froth
Within gut's Eden