I have a headache
Searing pain in my eyeballs
I'm going home now

santo previo
con problemas de culo

length only matters
in the Japanese Haiku
English tells to much

the evil i wrought!
five-seven-five. other bad
poems go elsewhere.

What the hell is this?
United Nations haiku?
Damn Global Econ.

Check your second lines
carefully Grog. They often
have more than you want.

grog, they lied
it IS important.
listen not

No estoy bueno
mis pantalones sucio
es de mi culo

length is not
important, only you.
tell someone.

enamorado
las chicas me encantan
yo quiero amor

wo die Eselsmischmaschine ist, die mich in der Nacht mit K

fire, mom, cats, taco
cool...haiku in spanish.. lets
call that stuff "spaiku"

gibbering nonsense
unrelated actions in words
confusion is here

i have a big zit
it screams in pain and redness
wipe the mirror clean

i am a rebel.
rules can never control me.
six syllables, who cares!

mi mono frota
con gatos en mi taco
madre enfuego

neanderthal dude
australopithecene chick
post-modern-baby

Priests and cannibals
Prehistoric animals
Happy dead come home

I will be back soon
I must bury a quaker
relief on the way!

well gooney goo goo!
goodness gracious! golly gee
willickers! gosh gosh!

hyperthermophiles
very interesting word
heat loving creatures

sorry...wrong mellie
it's my silly name for my
cut watermelon

Mellie is stuffed in
my basement in a trash bag
mu ha ha ha ha

might need a new job
this one boring. Can I come
stay with you mellie?

Bump on head. Ouch! Fell
asleep at work desk. Mellie
kiss and make better?

I'm iller than jack
in that cuckoo's nest movie.
watch me dance, baby

the spicy food hurts
i want to stop but it keeps
pushing, pushing. OW!

The porcelain throne
calls yet again. NAY! NO MORE!...
Hemorrhoids be gone.

Powerful nuggets
place dew droplets on my ass
awakening me.

The log is followed
by a fart. A smell follows
the fart. Sweet nature!

I fill the toilet
the water is displaced by
my chocolate glacier

floaters are wimpy
real men crap real fecal stuff
powerful nuggets

A morning surprise.
Runny? Solid? Thick? Thin? Light?
Dark? Look, a floater!!!

awaiting blissful
time on the porcelain throne
i think of past sh*ts

Oh Stenchie, stank muse
Percolating muddy froth
Within gut's Eden

Priest has been unboweled
By the scribbly scrabble
Stenchies that lurk here

I am now so sad
I have read the entire Onion.
Now no more to read.

you, preoccupied
by fecal matter, reveal
methane lifted dreams

i am not working
i must leave this place and go
not work somewhere else

Fading in and out
over-rated consciousness
Hammer smiles, he knows.

Stenchies overwhelm
Siren-like to my bowels
I evacuate.

Stuck in the office
I want to go and ride my
cycle or mellie

Damn eighth syllable
I can not count right today
I feel so ashamed

"Fya-Thigh-Rio"
my new band: "Fuck You And The
Horse You Rode In On"

If of course mellie
doesn't repsond back to me soon
then I would do it.

niner - I think that
she can knock spiderwebs with
me at anytime.

when i look at gwen
i get all tingly inside
she's not "Just" a girl

then again i can
not see her face when I take
her ass from behind

roll up and bang bang
all my gang does the same thang
i'm on the chain gang