life is far too short
we are all going to die
some almighty joke

beesting on my foot
pulstating local swelling
antihistamines

that killing machine
with serious cattitude
honed to a whisker

seriously guys
this is a waste of your life
go do something else

Speaking of Christians
Do Baptists fuck standing up
Dancing cheek to cheek

Poo is God's delight
Even Christians quietly
enjoy a good dump

Sushi makes good poo
slides out nice, easy and slick
It makes happy bung

My life is complete
when my bung sings a sad song
sweet baritone

If I fart in the
woods and my wife doesn't smell it
then, does it still stink?

I feel turds building
Waiting for morning coffee
to release a nice poo

Once upon a time
Paver was master poet
now he just spanks it

hey, is that thing red?
the honda, i mean, baby.
(I dont need the cash)

got my leather on
I insist on a helmut
the head is precious

getting back to now
all the places around here
i have been away

thrity five degrees
I still rode my bike tonight
and it comforts me

perhaps I did speak
language of persuasion, next
I offer them money

mailbox empty still
mel, miss made me sad maybe
my honda wants me

forms are not my friends
i've accidentally not
submitted my name

you have me all wrong
i'm the resident newbie
those were my first posts

A haiku newbie?
Moi? Haiku is my
middle name. Really.

don't mind me, i'm just
as bad a writer as you
that's what we're here for

someone save us all
we're stuck on this board with a
new haiku newbie

mucho me gusta
ir al restaurante
yo tengo hambre

woe is us my friends
four of us, thousands of lines
waste of cyberspace

te quiere un
haiku en espanol, si,
quatro camino?

9thmoon says that you,
the fourth way, watch too much god-
damn television

yep, i've got you babe,
i've got you babe. and know what?
i refuse to cher

my love gives life birth
pain unfolds it's pretty thorns
red blood stains my hands

leave out capitals
and punctuation, still
i am no cummings

four ways in spanish
is this my inquisition?
set my haiku free

Pedro, bad haiku
is like a good bowel movement --
pleasant for the soul.

pedro in cali
how about a haiku treat
make one in spanish

when haikus go bad
the earth groans a groan of pain
i can hear her now

A loan or a gift?
This is the pitiful plot
of all the "judge" shows

biblical ink blots.
interpret rorshach, meshach
and abendego

right here lies this man
convicted of bad writing
poor grog, rest in peace

This addiction is
taking over my shattered life
leading me to ruin

Grog bash everything
in attempt to save my mind
from my own Haiku

his name is jared
and he'll lead you to subway
all you fat people

e i e i o
old mcdonald had a farm
now he sells burgers

I am hell's angel
I am a badhaiku slut
I am not a saint

I can commit sin
I wont miss anything girl
are you game? let's go!

brain fart, ow, brain fart,
the pain, the pain, it's worse than
bad diarrhea

I must learn to watch
my Haiku otherwise I
will always be sad

Words can't express my
horror at what was said here.
Because nothing exists ;)

a wise sage once said,
through a well written haiku:
"piss off, you *sshole"

Because if you try.
And you fail to realize that
you suck, you should die.

bruce, do not be hard
on yourself. for some, counting
can be very hard.