his name is jared
and he'll lead you to subway
all you fat people

e i e i o
old mcdonald had a farm
now he sells burgers

I am hell's angel
I am a badhaiku slut
I am not a saint

I can commit sin
I wont miss anything girl
are you game? let's go!

brain fart, ow, brain fart,
the pain, the pain, it's worse than
bad diarrhea

I must learn to watch
my Haiku otherwise I
will always be sad

Words can't express my
horror at what was said here.
Because nothing exists ;)

a wise sage once said,
through a well written haiku:
"piss off, you *sshole"

Because if you try.
And you fail to realize that
you suck, you should die.

bruce, do not be hard
on yourself. for some, counting
can be very hard.

I am filled with shame
I left out but one short word
I disgrace this page

work is almost done.
bad haiku, i will miss you.
i need a screenname.

entemanns donuts
the ones with plastic chocolate
heaven on earth

Orange Creme yogurt
seems like it was much better
last time I tried it.

Bad haiku is art
like painting with cat crap
or drawing fat nudes.

many bad haikus.
not one good one. the mind reels.
is this possible?

Oh my lord! this is
a lot of unbelievable
terrible Haiku.

bad haiku writers,
unite! we are big and strong
if we act as one!

I do not see you
with your APC sticker
driving the wife's car?

haikus are too short
to fully express my thoughts
so i sit silent

I didn't mean there;
rumor says different building.
Please be careful, man.

I am too busy
playing in my Zen garden
for messing with drugs.

guess i'll go see, huh?
either vroom vroom or pow pow
nighty night honey

data center guy
sitting mad in parking lot
this is the rumor.

whatever, 9 moons.
you've been shooting up again.
start back at step one

lies, simply pure lies
(click) i wonder who said that
(pow! pow!) what was that????!!!

bruises from needle
the doctor's assistant is
one rough s.o.b.

the fourth way, is it
true, rumor about someone
bringing gun to work?

not enough haiku
2 transvestites on TV
distracting me, why!?

Horror flicks I do love
like a woman at my feet
surprising me, whoah!

Oh hell, shitfire,
anonymous isn't cool.
My name is Nan. Hi!

I can't speak for Mel
but mellie what say you, girl?
I'm non-committal.

Cappuccino, beau-
tibathtakemeaway from this
day of freaks and geeks.

Mellie?! It's obvious!
and saint #7550
wants it too, bad, oh!

that dream was too long
should have woken earlier
but it was so nice

my mouth wide open
he slips in latex'd finger
and caresses my gums

don't mock soft rock -- the
ghost of Karen Carpenter
will come to get you!

weather is still hot
it is now over 90 degrees
glad I'm no snowman

I ate my cats food
it was crunchy and tasty
she now wants my steak

Smell the food I've bought
As I pull away, arrive here -
I'm one sandwich short!
Bastards!

Empty drive through lane
Simple, elegant order
So where's my damn food?!

Some people drive cars
Some people are cars too
You stupid go bot

The air is warm here
my balls are sweating madly
too close to the fan

all soft rock stations
seem to be called "warm" something
is that true by you?

just goes to show you
mr. cenobyte, that if you
snoozeth you loseth

gone for just three days
a thousand new bad haiku
so much bitterness...

precision pissing-
I send out pale yellow darts
like a lawn sprinkler

I'm deciphering
what it means to be human.
sifting through clay dust

work makes me wish for
"repetitive injury"
then i could get comp