haikus are too short
to fully express my thoughts
so i sit silent

I didn't mean there;
rumor says different building.
Please be careful, man.

I am too busy
playing in my Zen garden
for messing with drugs.

guess i'll go see, huh?
either vroom vroom or pow pow
nighty night honey

data center guy
sitting mad in parking lot
this is the rumor.

whatever, 9 moons.
you've been shooting up again.
start back at step one

lies, simply pure lies
(click) i wonder who said that
(pow! pow!) what was that????!!!

bruises from needle
the doctor's assistant is
one rough s.o.b.

the fourth way, is it
true, rumor about someone
bringing gun to work?

not enough haiku
2 transvestites on TV
distracting me, why!?

Horror flicks I do love
like a woman at my feet
surprising me, whoah!

Oh hell, shitfire,
anonymous isn't cool.
My name is Nan. Hi!

I can't speak for Mel
but mellie what say you, girl?
I'm non-committal.

Cappuccino, beau-
tibathtakemeaway from this
day of freaks and geeks.

Mellie?! It's obvious!
and saint #7550
wants it too, bad, oh!

that dream was too long
should have woken earlier
but it was so nice

my mouth wide open
he slips in latex'd finger
and caresses my gums

don't mock soft rock -- the
ghost of Karen Carpenter
will come to get you!

weather is still hot
it is now over 90 degrees
glad I'm no snowman

I ate my cats food
it was crunchy and tasty
she now wants my steak

Smell the food I've bought
As I pull away, arrive here -
I'm one sandwich short!
Bastards!

Empty drive through lane
Simple, elegant order
So where's my damn food?!

Some people drive cars
Some people are cars too
You stupid go bot

The air is warm here
my balls are sweating madly
too close to the fan

all soft rock stations
seem to be called "warm" something
is that true by you?

just goes to show you
mr. cenobyte, that if you
snoozeth you loseth

gone for just three days
a thousand new bad haiku
so much bitterness...

precision pissing-
I send out pale yellow darts
like a lawn sprinkler

I'm deciphering
what it means to be human.
sifting through clay dust

work makes me wish for
"repetitive injury"
then i could get comp

today first of spring
yesterday it was snowing
stupid place to live

today went quickly
no time to read bad haiku
one feels empty now

D-N-A a strain
of good genetic coding
wasted upon me

Things here are most bleak
questions arise as to why
I was ever born

my bowels are torn
mexican food assaults them
with painful spices

Priest and Saint are gone
I awake from my waiting
And attack with UNGH!

Three Haikus for you!
I think I enjoy this shit.
Addicting it is!

Do not play this game!
Doom makes people want to kill!
Stupid kids at school...

Have you played the game
Chu Chu Rocket for the Dreamcast?
Cats and Mice are God!

Art is very fun!
This poetic ridicule,
only makes us laugh.

haiku was once art.
i make light of its simple
beauty. darn, oh well!

I see women 'round
I want to get to know them
and know their boobies.

Gurgling, splurting
spattering slapping noises
Mustard is empty.

When I start to think,
I begin to dream bad things.
Retards haunt my sleep...

When I think my life
is horrible, I realize
that I could be Priest.

Crapping on a soul?
How nice, is it possible?
I would like to try...

I will see women
and wonder how long before
she would cheat on me?

no motorcycle
I guess I am stuck with my
red razor scooter

My bike screams for me.
And I will comfort it's soul.
Yes, later today.

motorcycle is
calling me; thrilling to feel
the wind in my face