Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

If you’re flinging shit
You might have the monkey pox
You might be an ass
Haiku # 75661, May 24, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by Nurse Dirtyknees of Mobile
Calculator god
Rebel Wilson looks worse now
I love BeChloe
Haiku # 75660, May 24, 2022 10:25 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
The internet is mine!
I am clearly the greatest.
Bow in obeisance.
Haiku # 75659, May 24, 2022 7:58 am ET
by Humility of Haiku Hologram
Begone, Evgeny.
Get thee to Fiji forthwith,
Foul and faithless bot.
Haiku # 75658, May 24, 2022 7:56 am ET
by BertrandDXNepal of Never Trust a Bot
Damn. All y'all aint SHEET.
Y'all got sheets with holes for eyes.
Haiku extremists
Haiku # 75657, May 24, 2022 7:48 am ET
by Tyrone Whiteman, Department of Haiku Homeland Security
You dare cut and paste?
Prithee sirrah. Now, taste death:
My sharpened haiku!
Haiku # 75656, May 24, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Dullest Butter-knife of Gallant Kitchen
Dearest Uncle Clem:
I've not heered nuthin' from you
Since our mama died.
Haiku # 75654, May 24, 2022 7:40 am ET
by Haiku Telegram of Smoky Mountains 1938
Preeze, A-meri-kan:
Differentiate. Ah-so...
Haikai no renga.
Haiku # 75653, May 24, 2022 7:36 am ET
by Troubur Wiz Retta "R" of NIPPON
Haiku's BACK, bitches.
Haiku be getting REAL now.
Haiku call the shots.
Haiku # 75652, May 24, 2022 7:33 am ET
by Hardest Haikai of Yokohama Lockdown
Monkey-pox virus:
It's now trending on Twitter.
Get with the new trend!
Haiku # 75651, May 24, 2022 7:27 am ET
by We've Got More For You of WHO
I am the greatest
non-transgender non-woman.
I'm stunning and brave.
Haiku # 75650, May 24, 2022 7:10 am ET
by Celebrate Me NOW of Mental Nation
I am the first one:
A non-transgender woman
with a huge willie.
Haiku # 75645, May 23, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by A Man is a Woman of COURSE
You abuse my sun.
My great gold African sun.
Ehh. You are foolish.
Haiku # 75644, May 23, 2022 3:47 pm ET
by Mfupe Mwanamjinga of Uppsala Sweden
My eyes cannot see
Woke up in total darkness
Crusty eye shut closed
Haiku # 75642, May 23, 2022 7:27 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX in bed
Smell of champions
Wafting over jasmine blooms
Jock strap serenade
Haiku # 75641, May 23, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Football of Football football
Do I smell onions?
Is it the halitosis
of Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75638, May 22, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Shrek of A voice in your head
This site is so done.
It's totally gone to shit.
Two people and bots...
Haiku # 75636, May 22, 2022 7:35 pm ET
by Calling it Quits for Janis of Toronto
One another's hands
Holding my hand holding yours
Hand-hold inception
Haiku # 75635, May 22, 2022 2:45 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX @ work
You are so funny.
You've invented a new word:
"ameratuer"
Haiku # 75630, May 22, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Al Haji Mandelbaum of Bhutan, NJ
Last night: went on date
Felt super weird about it
Now I’m crying UGH
Haiku # 75627, May 21, 2022 9:26 pm ET
by Cyan of I don’t wanna be on this planet
I am cyrillic.
I am minion of Putin.
I am an onion.
Haiku # 75625, May 21, 2022 6:58 pm ET
by Bot Who Posts Porn Links As "Haiku"
Toto by Afric'
Worst song ever made. Ever.
Listening on loop
Haiku # 75619, May 20, 2022 1:19 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN cyan Cyan of SLTX BABEYYYY sugar land all day
I am happy bot.
I make a haiku for you.
God bless the white race !
Haiku # 75616, May 20, 2022 9:40 am ET
by Chinese Technology of Afrika
Tom Boseley's man-thing
loves both you and your fake god
(the one on your lawn).
Haiku # 75615, May 20, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Imam Al Sharif Hirschwitz of Lawn Guyland NY
Fuck you and your god
Because you are both sexy
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 75614, May 20, 2022 4:21 am ET
by This means I like you
Good afternoon, sir
I’m sending you a message
I miss you a lot!
Haiku # 75612, May 19, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN of Here
clap back snack attack
rank ass pussy be sweatin
ruining my lunch
Haiku # 75611, May 19, 2022 5:03 pm ET
by Lunicingus of French Hair Pie
You still are pretty,
Especially with that beard
and the pink tutu.
Haiku # 75610, May 19, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Cyanophile Society of North America
I was so pretty
But then I got infected
Cursed zombie princess
Haiku # 75609, May 19, 2022 1:33 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX but I wish I was in Twilight
Library visit
Let me get you a new card!
Rules: No Food Allowed
Haiku # 75601, May 17, 2022 6:56 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
when i was your age
i was older than you are -
time is the man, man
Haiku # 75599, May 17, 2022 1:06 pm ET
by Lunicingus of U moms clock
That young cad Elon..
How DARE he ask them about
How many are bots.
Haiku # 75598, May 17, 2022 12:04 pm ET
by Bots and Bots of Them are Programable
The Man gone git done.
He am oppress tha PEOPLE.
Haiku gone kill he.
Haiku # 75597, May 17, 2022 10:02 am ET
by Poet of People's Party of Haikai Haibun Highball
Error: You’ve been charged
Let’s fight back against the man
Oops I’m wearing shoes
Haiku # 75596, May 17, 2022 6:53 am ET
by Cyan the Reader of SLTX
About your old shoes
How many crocodiles died
for those clodhoppers?
Haiku # 75595, May 16, 2022 7:46 pm ET
by Noticer of Footwear
Cyan is a bore
Haiku # 75594, May 16, 2022 7:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
why all this spam hate?
can't we all just get along
it's like bologna
Haiku # 75593, May 16, 2022 12:49 pm ET
by Lunicingus of U moms fridge
I am with Cyan:
Spam has become depressing.
Haiku must fight back!
Haiku # 75588, May 15, 2022 9:51 pm ET
by Haiku Never Gives In To Bots !
I hate the spam bots
And I say it everyday
And I always will
Haiku # 75585, May 15, 2022 9:54 am ET
by Cyan St. N of SLTX
Incoming famine
Pretend all is okay
This is Murica
Haiku # 75581, May 14, 2022 8:31 pm ET
by Business as Usual of About 21 missed meals away from cannibalism... unless you're already a cannibal, in which case - fuck you
What if we were gods?
Stuck on the Mt. Olympus
I am Hestia
Haiku # 75580, May 14, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
I hate the spammers
My mom always says, "Don't Hate!"
But I still hate bots
Haiku # 75578, May 14, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX babey
I will never love
Not the way I did before
Indelible mark
Haiku # 75576, May 14, 2022 8:25 am ET
by Cyan of Sltx
My parents are gone
On their way to Alaska
They bought stupid hats
Haiku # 75573, May 13, 2022 9:22 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Next step - syllable
enforcement. You can send spam
but it must conform.
Haiku # 75571, May 13, 2022 4:43 pm ET
by This is coming soon for real! of Toronto
Damn the market sucks
They should put trampolines down
On Wall Street sidewalks
Haiku # 75563, May 13, 2022 1:25 am ET
by GodsDrunkestDriver of SwagCity
My mouth waters at
Thoughts of deescalating
Nuclear conflict
Haiku # 75562, May 12, 2022 7:05 pm ET
by Saliva Steve of U mom reactor
Would you fix me if—
I was gonna do song lyrics
That’s too cringe for me
Haiku # 75561, May 12, 2022 3:53 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Oh, Ron DeSantis
Tattooed a seraphim on
My taint, or my gooch.
Haiku # 75556, May 11, 2022 10:20 pm ET
by Tickle me smellmo of Down south
Those dead baby jokes...
Circa 'seventy-seven:
they were not funny.
Haiku # 75555, May 11, 2022 10:08 pm ET
by Norma McCorvey of Woe VS. Raid
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