be gentlemanly
and gracious, girls will notice...
if you're not ugly

I post my e mail
my mailbox still sits empty
I will die alone

Car speeding to lunch
All flanks are unprotected
For haiku assault.

I have tried punching
I broke my hand and I cried.
Then she kicked my ass.-

Hey Saint you should try,
a good punch in the girls face.
They will like you much!

bad haiku lets me
express my innermost self:
kill my boss, kill him!

Like Neandertals
My social grace with women
lacks very much so

Making games is fun!
I must be John Romero,
touch my long pony hair.

All of life is art
And randomness births magic
As critics kill our wonder.

Why do I type this?
it is very sexual,
please touch me right now.

I dream of sliced cheese
melting in my underwear
friends call me Cheez Whizz

i now quit writing
haiku before you all kill
me. Bye, bad haiku!

To Anon Poet
I had a "haiku" for you
I flush it away

submit art only,
not random thoughts, you moron.
i disparage you!

I spelled "to" wrong
In my last fateful haiku
I blame public school

To Miss Everything,
and Mellie - I ask this of you:
Menage a trois? Oui!

haiku is like life,
only way to stop is death.
i try to be deep.

must take a shower
I am far to smelly now
I'm scaring the cats

I must emulate
the attitude of bound men
to get walked upon.

Must stop bad haiku
I need to be productive
this is addictive

What the hell is this?
A saint on his knees begging?
have you no pride, man!

i submit haiku,
it shows up on monitor,
hmmmm, they are not good

On my knees I beg
please please call me someone please
I work for my dad

Zoom, off I go now
crotch rocket blazing trail
to colorless grey

Blantant desperation
ed fred at voyager dot
net. Please e mail me.

If you can read this
you are standing to close
I swallow your soul

Anonymous sits
cowardly throws jabs at Priest
don't talk to Billy Idol that way!!!!

My Honda screameth
I accelerate and shift
The world then blurs

reading his haikus
i wonder if priest may have
issues from childhood

Tense interview
the backdoor pressure building
results in seepage

I hear some music
coming from the parking lot
Rap! not to my taste.

Don't fall away, and
Leave Love bleeding in my hands
Don't fall away again.

Proud by his flag plant
Dares all, "If you care for me
Then care this far."

Two look at one another
Cobwebs gather, hang
Hours later, waitress comes

Art generally
enriches people, but bad
haiku causes crime!

Signs everywhere paint
just how rich you too can be
throw away your soul

My long hair doth suck
covers my eyes during sex
is she still naked

My thoughts are profound.
I am wise beyond belief.
You are so stupid.

Gas, it sometimes fills
my belly. Bloated! Bloated!
People avoid me.

at work i read bad
haiku, it is less boring
than the work i do.

even though it's hot
I've fallen into autumn
winter on its way

and a yamaha
yellow like a canary
it sang so sweetly

I cant figure out
what all of this poem crap is
really all about, ha!

little tools from nuts
like you - globe spins; we are so
in the east and west.

too bad you can't just
satisfy your hunger by
rubbing your stomach!

Form matters little
We are not artisans of the east
But workmen with tools.

moronoxycle
brm, brm, brm - vibrations 'tween
my legs gripping you.

Squibble, squibble, POP!
Stomach protests digestion,
Hear its mighty voice!

it's not Ev-ree-thing
it's E-ver-ree-thing; you had
sex instead of five.

Real life reflections
make way into virtual realms
women ignore me