Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 192 Days and 77105 Haiku later...

oh go bite your thumb
at someone else, i have to
use mine to do fonz
Haiku # 73429, November 10, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
Fie! Abort thyself!
Experienced Hoover cowgirl.
Vacuums and stirrups.
Haiku # 73428, November 10, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by Sucking cum, stir up coffee. of One teensy extra silly bool. Didn't know it was in there!
Surely, knave, you jest.
Yet, I shall unsheath my blade,
Lest you play the fool.
Haiku # 73427, November 10, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Dashing Duellist of Diabolic Dilemma
Assume donkey position...
Ascend. WHOOPS! (ass-end).
Haiku # 73426, November 10, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Assessment Assent Protocols of Burro Hee Haw
Just squeeze out one more.
Fresh, fragrant, dark and steaming:
Another haiku.
Haiku # 73424, November 10, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Haiku Factory of Mass Production
A six-armed idol:
Five for chapatis, curry,
One for the chutney.
Haiku # 73423, November 10, 2021 9:52 pm ET
by What's My Third Eye For? of Asiatic Abominations
Oh ye haiku gods,
Strengthen me this one last time,
To destroy temples.
Haiku # 73422, November 10, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Freaky Sexy Big-breasted Buddhist of Khajuraho
Noticer, not you.
He/she/it/they "if you tell".
My, its farts do smell.

My life's at its end.
Praise be to Jesus for that.
Pain is getting old.
Haiku # 73421, November 10, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Somewhere over the
Rainbow trout I post something
Slippery and fishy.
Haiku # 73420, November 10, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Mox
There were no death threats
unless after we French kiss
you get a hairball
Haiku # 73419, November 10, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by starkitten of lair
Do you suppose that
da Vinci's dead fetus will
dance with your dead son?

No, probably not.
I just love instant karma.
And avoid dogma.
Haiku # 73418, November 10, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by I know.
You were aborted.
All of this is just a dream
In your fetal skull.
Haiku # 73417, November 10, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by Vanished Glories of Mitosis
Oh, these silly bulls.
Male bovines in tutus.
Count them, prancing by.
Haiku # 73416, November 10, 2021 5:47 pm ET
by Post-ballet BBQ. of Farmer Bill's Ranch
Your empty death threats,
dog poop, and marijuana
give me a boner.
Haiku # 73415, November 10, 2021 5:39 pm ET
by Fetishists Anonomous of In the jungle, checking my plants.
That would awesome.
Twenty-five years, then kaput.
Should be same for us.
Haiku # 73414, November 10, 2021 5:01 pm ET
by Life beyond 25 is just being greedy.
repent, ye sinners
you syllable miscounters
for the end is nye!
Haiku # 73413, November 10, 2021 4:57 pm ET
by scotch of bill nye, that is, ender of worlds
only two more days
to post all your bad haiku
then this site comes down
Haiku # 73412, November 10, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by scotch of rumor mongering HQ
She didn't do it
I pooped by the birdbath (wag)
i wrote that poem
Haiku # 73411, November 10, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by actual dog of Starkitten
Starkitten, you gotta quit pooping by the bird bath. They don't want to come around any more. Have some mercy on our avian brothers. Besides, if there are no birds, how can you catch and eat them? Go back to your litter box next time.
Haiku # 73410, November 10, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Friendly defecation advice from your local neighborhood fecal advisor. of Fiscal Fecal, Accounting for Your Poo Since 1961.
Entertain us, entered anus.
Sparrow King, Catatafish.
Lemmiwinks or Lemmy winks.
Haiku # 73409, November 10, 2021 3:37 pm ET
by One Ton Wonton One-eyed-wonder-worm of Give me Motorhead.
I calculated it
There aren't enough hours in the day
to smoke all this weed
Haiku # 73408, November 10, 2021 3:34 pm ET
by Hotbox of haiku
the last haiku was written by a dirty dog
Haiku # 73407, November 10, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
He who dies in debt
only lost others' asses,
but still has his own.
Haiku # 73406, November 10, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by The only way to go.
shit by the birdbath
my nose held high in the air
my tail is lowered
Haiku # 73405, November 10, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by written by rez-dawg of Starkitten
Assess your losses:
your assets in arrears. How
you've fallen behind.
Haiku # 73404, November 10, 2021 3:15 pm ET
by Wipe Your Debt of Royal Flush
You should take a break.
Go and Seymour Butts; I did.
Thailand is awesome.
Haiku # 73403, November 10, 2021 2:29 pm ET
by Ass ass in ate was a ten ten.
I'll kill you then tell.
Dance on your fat rotten corpse.
Drug baby insists.
Haiku # 73402, November 10, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by It whispers to me at night. of "Kill the whore! Kill the whore!"
You are a liar!
My cat had killed the rabbit.
Brought it as a gift.
Haiku # 73401, November 10, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by It was tasty!
If you ever tell
I will kill you like I killed
That bunny rabbit.
Haiku # 73400, November 10, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Uncle Seymour of Leavittown High Security Facility #13
The more people killed,
the more a hero you are.
Animals' revenge.
Haiku # 73399, November 10, 2021 11:23 am ET
by EF!
It's so refreshing.
This game is almost over.
How hateful it's been.
Haiku # 73398, November 10, 2021 7:52 am ET
by Worse than fucking Monopoly on bad acid.
Go out with a bang.
Timothy McVeigh should have.
What would Timmy do?
Haiku # 73397, November 10, 2021 6:04 am ET
i need to go pee
bladder's about to explode
but first, this haiku
Haiku # 73396, November 10, 2021 3:49 am ET
by scotch of would a robot need to go pee
That's impossible.
Neither the pilgrims nor the
Indians were good.
Haiku # 73395, November 9, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by Pokeahotass.
The pilgrims were good.
Squanto had been to Europe.
Don't believe the hype.
Haiku # 73394, November 9, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by Plymouth ROCKS ! of 1620
Доступные модульные еврозаборы от фирмы изготовителя
Haiku # 73393, November 9, 2021 6:13 pm ET
by KevinBuh of Russia
Yuri Bezmenov
Described the process for you.
Go do your research.
Haiku # 73392, November 9, 2021 2:46 pm ET
by Tomas David Schuman of Novosti
we have just three days
before this turns twenty-five
prepare to party
Haiku # 73391, November 9, 2021 2:26 pm ET
by scotch
you communist cock-sucker
ungrateful shit tick.
Haiku # 73390, November 9, 2021 11:10 am ET
by Greedy pig parasite. of Should have let the Japs rape you all!
How fat are you now?
You really should lose some weight.
Heart attack's waiting.
Haiku # 73389, November 9, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Rigid Rigamortis Wiggle Riggle Worm.
I smasha the grapes
I smasha you in the face
I make a you whine
Haiku # 73388, November 9, 2021 10:06 am ET
by Rural Guido of Rural location
Have you ever dipped
your dink in someone's wine just
because you hate them?
Haiku # 73387, November 9, 2021 7:49 am ET
by Then propose a toast. of Sorry, is it a bit salty?
Extra syllable.
Sticking out like my penis,
caught in the ladder.
Haiku # 73386, November 9, 2021 5:00 am ET
by OUCH! of Just here to wash the windows. Special cleaning fluid.
Call me paranoid.
Have you noticed Noticer's

Darth this, Darth that. Seriously gets old. Why don't you call me up some time. Buy me a beer.

Instead of "Noticer" call yourself "Antagonizer".
Giving this ant agony. Hi, sir.
Ha! You're probably my secretary.
Haiku # 73385, November 9, 2021 4:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pygmy rapist will
filet and cook you after.
But will you taste sweet?
Haiku # 73384, November 9, 2021 4:36 am ET
by Somehow I doubt it. of Dead hooker in the trunk.
i just got blocked on
twitter by some guy who founded
Haiku # 73383, November 9, 2021 12:53 am ET
by vhs
Midget peeping Tom
Always the one caught looking
Fuck this goddam ladder!
Haiku # 73382, November 8, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by Noticer of wee male
im too paranoid
to be hamlet, alas poor...
oh, fuck, who's skull that?
Haiku # 73381, November 8, 2021 11:20 pm ET
by vhs
If you've been out-shagged,
you're one step ahead of us
other lame "poets".
Haiku # 73380, November 8, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Good night, sweet prince! of May the moon shine down beams of golden fortune upon thee.
well since i have been
outjoked, outfoxed, outshagged then
I'm going to bed...
Haiku # 73379, November 8, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by moxie
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