Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 48 Days and 77439 Haiku later...

Some suffer because
The magic man in the sky
Is complete bullshit
Haiku # 73160, October 30, 2021 10:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You suffer because
you are God's entertainment.
Sort of like Squid Game.
Haiku # 73159, October 30, 2021 8:24 am ET
by Don't deny it!
Never date a whore.
More so if she has false teeth.
Unless they are gold.
Haiku # 73158, October 30, 2021 8:20 am ET
by Bling bling.
If twats clean themselves,
my exes had lazy cunts.
Most of them, that is.
Haiku # 73157, October 30, 2021 6:37 am ET
by Smelled like a dead squid fishery. of Or a mass pig burial dug up.
The squirrel
Haiku # 73156, October 29, 2021 10:50 pm ET
by https://www.nutsacdance.org/
There's the nut-sac dance
Remember the funny squirrel?
We had dial up then
Haiku # 73155, October 29, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by modem beep beep brip
Who needs a douchebag?
Vaginas are self cleaning
Pussys lick themselves
Haiku # 73154, October 29, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by sandpaper tongue
Colostomy bag.
My bag of cholesterol.
And not the good kind!
Haiku # 73153, October 29, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by The kind of cholesterol that does 20 years to life.
Colonectomy:
It's colectomy misspelled.
Collect me colon. ::::::::
Haiku # 73152, October 29, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Colonectomy: A definition with its colon removed.
Freaking Halloween !
My Jack'O Lanterns are set.
(Kicking Satan's ass.)
Haiku # 73151, October 29, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by Gentle Jeesus Meek and Mild of Nazareth
I've never had one.
Perhaps I should, but who cares.
Cancer's fine by me.
Haiku # 73150, October 29, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by A little cancer never killed anyone. of I can live with that.
Colonoscopy:
Damn. The story of my life.
What did you find there?
Haiku # 73149, October 29, 2021 7:01 pm ET
by Rectal Fractal of Orifices
Trying to make Darth laugh
Haiku # 73148, October 29, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of pnw
Colonoscopy
Tell them you cleaned yourself out
They'll find out you lied
Haiku # 73147, October 29, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by The results of the colonoscopy of were written all over the doctor's face
That one had ghost pepper
with notes of adrenaline

Hook up the siphon!
Haiku # 73146, October 29, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by green alien of (aside)(translated) All Hail Darth Gaspasser!
Halloween candy.
Which one is the best and worst?
Reeses' / Tootsie Rolls.
Haiku # 73145, October 29, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by Truth!
That could be awesome.
Upload your fart videos.
Sadly there's no stench.

Virtual headsets
need odor emulators
and we will get rich!
Haiku # 73144, October 29, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by Come on, inventors out there! of More important than renewable energy!
Rank my flatulence.
On a scale from one to ten.
Ten being most rank.
Haiku # 73143, October 29, 2021 5:47 pm ET
by ratemyfarts.com of that should be a real thing... come on Janis, get a new server!
We come here seeking
your most dankest flatulence
Refuel the spaceships!
Haiku # 73142, October 29, 2021 4:37 pm ET
by (untranslatable) of Rear
https://t.me/s/polak_potrafi
Haiku # 73141, October 29, 2021 12:57 pm ET
by Michaelver of Senegal
it might violate
the geneva convention
still, a tempting thought
Haiku # 73140, October 29, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by scotch of or could do it with something like https://cloud.google.com/text-to-speech
had a crazy thought
text-to-speech on all haiku
one big mp3
Haiku # 73139, October 29, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by scotch of and I could probably do it
in only two weeks
this site will turn twenty-five
where's the party at?
Haiku # 73138, October 29, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by scotch of paging janis
Ethcuthze ME. A-hem.
Please use my preferred pronoun.
It's "mental illness".
Haiku # 73137, October 29, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Irate Person on Psychtropic Meds With Purple Hair
https://sdayem-ekzameny.ru Создание макета диплома
Haiku # 73136, October 29, 2021 10:31 am ET
by Barabanwikovomr of Russia
"They" is your pronoun.
There need to be antinouns.
Let's think of a way.
Haiku # 73135, October 29, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Referring to people who need to die... Maybe of "Them parasite cocksuckers" is a good antinoun.
They can't wait to leave,
those silly little sperm cells.
Overpopulate.
Haiku # 73134, October 29, 2021 6:55 am ET
by Destroying the planet. of One brat at a time.
Look down in your pants.
Pull out the biggest pronoun.
Please, put it back now.
Haiku # 73133, October 29, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku supply chain
Must be the bidet is clogged
Got a toilet snake?
Haiku # 73132, October 29, 2021 1:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You must have come here
to watch the monkey knife fight.
We're out of haiku.
Haiku # 73131, October 29, 2021 12:44 am ET
by But try next door.
You're walking along
You spot a hole in the ground
Try yelling in it

Did someone answer?
Some people believe these holes
are portals to Hell
Haiku # 73130, October 28, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Modern Superman
is bisexual and all
phone booths are no more.
Haiku # 73129, October 28, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Look it up! Superman is officially gay now. No shit. of Those poofsters at DC comics been butt chugging pumpkin spice lattes!
(Moan) Operator?
Long distance inflammation
Get me out of here!
Haiku # 73128, October 28, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Clark Kent of Superman's penis caught in door of telephone booth
If you don't wank it,
Hoppity Horse testicles.
Mass transportation.
Haiku # 73127, October 28, 2021 9:26 pm ET
by Higgs boson Bozo.
Isn't it strange that
weeping willows don't look sad
but like hippie chicks.
Haiku # 73126, October 28, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by their hair anyway.
Haven't you noticed
you haven't really noticed.
Read twixt them thar lines.
Haiku # 73125, October 28, 2021 9:21 pm ET
by Yep.
Have you considered
that you can die once in Hell
and go somewhere worse.
Haiku # 73124, October 28, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by And so on and so forth. of Hadn't you noticed? How low can we go?!
If Satan had lost,
badhaiku would not exist.
You hadn't noticed????
Haiku # 73123, October 28, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by Seriously?! of This is hell right here. We are the damned souls sent here to suffer.
Disney's Fantasia
Has that very spooky part:
Satan takes over.
Haiku # 73122, October 28, 2021 5:14 pm ET
by But he does not win of course
If you go up there
I'll worry about you, Darth
There's nothing up there

But if you insist
I'll just stay in my bottle
Major Figpucker
Haiku # 73121, October 28, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
How should I get there,
SpaceX or Blue Origin?
I cannot decide.

I like the schlong shape,
but Bezos is an asshole.
Musk is halfway cool.

To make more money
he should have his own cologne.
Call it "Musk du Musk".
Haiku # 73120, October 28, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by An asshole in a schlong, that's a first.
Do you think you can
elope on an antelope,
or you cantaloupe.

The gazelle can tell
by the unusual smell
in the wishing well.
Haiku # 73119, October 28, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Did you notice?
Would it improve things
significantly to know
he was getting head?

If it pleases you,
use your imagination
and it can be real.
Haiku # 73118, October 28, 2021 12:51 pm ET
by QED
That math video
would be better if he was
getting a blow job
Haiku # 73117, October 28, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by A taste of hard math problems
If you wank to this,
reevaluate your life;
monetize your lust.
Haiku # 73116, October 28, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6l9KezH1ug
and I still don't understand what it is
Haiku # 73115, October 28, 2021 11:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That one slipped by me
Had to look up the word queef
in dictionary
Haiku # 73114, October 28, 2021 11:55 am ET
by Noticer of most details
You ever notice
beat box sounds like pussy farts.
Belief in the queef!
Haiku # 73113, October 28, 2021 11:48 am ET
by DJs Terrance & Phillip of That shit be dope tho!
You'd find good cheese there
Warm merino wool sweaters
You should see my dance!
Haiku # 73112, October 28, 2021 8:47 am ET
by sk
That Pink Panther song...
Strangely compelling, but odd.
So very wooden:

https://youtu.be/paWt-vWYbyU
Haiku # 73111, October 28, 2021 6:23 am ET
by Woody Woodpecker of Fake Italian After-ski Party
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