Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 347 Days and 77326 Haiku later...

If you go up there
I'll worry about you, Darth
There's nothing up there

But if you insist
I'll just stay in my bottle
Major Figpucker
Haiku # 73121, October 28, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
How should I get there,
SpaceX or Blue Origin?
I cannot decide.

I like the schlong shape,
but Bezos is an asshole.
Musk is halfway cool.

To make more money
he should have his own cologne.
Call it "Musk du Musk".
Haiku # 73120, October 28, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by An asshole in a schlong, that's a first.
Do you think you can
elope on an antelope,
or you cantaloupe.

The gazelle can tell
by the unusual smell
in the wishing well.
Haiku # 73119, October 28, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Did you notice?
Would it improve things
significantly to know
he was getting head?

If it pleases you,
use your imagination
and it can be real.
Haiku # 73118, October 28, 2021 12:51 pm ET
by QED
That math video
would be better if he was
getting a blow job
Haiku # 73117, October 28, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by A taste of hard math problems
If you wank to this,
reevaluate your life;
monetize your lust.
Haiku # 73116, October 28, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6l9KezH1ug
and I still don't understand what it is
Haiku # 73115, October 28, 2021 11:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That one slipped by me
Had to look up the word queef
in dictionary
Haiku # 73114, October 28, 2021 11:55 am ET
by Noticer of most details
You ever notice
beat box sounds like pussy farts.
Belief in the queef!
Haiku # 73113, October 28, 2021 11:48 am ET
by DJs Terrance & Phillip of That shit be dope tho!
You'd find good cheese there
Warm merino wool sweaters
You should see my dance!
Haiku # 73112, October 28, 2021 8:47 am ET
by sk
That Pink Panther song...
Strangely compelling, but odd.
So very wooden:

https://youtu.be/paWt-vWYbyU
Haiku # 73111, October 28, 2021 6:23 am ET
by Woody Woodpecker of Fake Italian After-ski Party
"'Cause ya know what, man?
I'm just a big old square, man.
And I DIG BRUBECK."

https://youtu.be/DkPNHV0DTWc
Haiku # 73110, October 28, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Lenny Goonagan of Vinyl Disc
No, I'd rather watch
someone else do math problems
Just sit back and watch
Haiku # 73109, October 28, 2021 5:31 am ET
by Spectator of Mathematics
Do you enjoy math?
What field interests you?
I can count to ten.
Haiku # 73108, October 28, 2021 4:27 am ET
by Leonhard Euler
https://sdayem-ekzameny.ru Реферат терапия живописью
Haiku # 73107, October 28, 2021 1:29 am ET
by Sinezubovvsb of Russia
I noticed that, too
mathhamphetamine addict
You know, a "math head."
Haiku # 73106, October 27, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Noticer
Wow, someone's trippin'.
I suspect somethin' extra
in those blue gummies.
Haiku # 73105, October 27, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Might have to try those.
Oh god, it's WIMMEN!
They done led my soul astray.
Like dope and likker.
Haiku # 73104, October 27, 2021 9:35 pm ET
by Liquor of Lil' Abner Comics with that hottie
Clem git muh Bible!
Haiku demon....ah caint quit.
Lord hits warse then dope.
Haiku # 73103, October 27, 2021 9:30 pm ET
by Smoky Mountain Gothic of 1929 an' cornpone
Them women's pee-hole:
Why it has another part
That's inside of there
Haiku # 73102, October 27, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by Amateur Guynekology of Hillbilly Clinic
Yes Lord I have sinned.
I'll probably keep sinning.
It's me. You do you.
Haiku # 73101, October 27, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Absolute Sanctification of Heavenly Perfection
Me want haiku more.
Want BIG haiku more better
Haiku make good life
Haiku # 73100, October 27, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by John Frum of Cargo Cult 1947
Halloween is cool.
Horror is hilarious.
Something in the air...
Haiku # 73099, October 27, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by Caramel Apples of Halloween Past
I ate blue gummy.
Only one-half. Driving home,
Felt like different road (?)
Haiku # 73098, October 27, 2021 9:04 pm ET
by Nation On Drugs
Me big chief haiku.
Drink'um 24-pack. Ugh.
Then drive to Gallup.
Haiku # 73097, October 27, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Starkitten Lives on the "Rez" of Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
If you found the corpse,
would you take it home to eat
or feed to your cat?
Haiku # 73096, October 27, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Think of the money you'd save.
Is it possible
to overdose on gummies?
Asking for a friend.

Which would kill you first,
sugar or the THC?
Let's experiment.

That's what gay guys say.
"You need to experiment."
I ask "Dissection?"

There are two genders.
Me and everybody else.
My private commode.

The weight of the world
gives me a hopeless feeling.
More so when I write.
Haiku # 73095, October 27, 2021 6:09 pm ET
by Aliens piss me off. of Because they aren't to be found.
Some guy died right there
Overdosed in his camper
Meth heads got his spot
Haiku # 73094, October 27, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Rezkitten of pnw
The Antichrist world
Denies gender and hates whites.
But it loves A.I !
Haiku # 73093, October 27, 2021 4:41 pm ET
by I Love My White Culture of Kumbaya
Who is on the rez?
Furniture-burning meth heads?
Those were skinwalkers.
Haiku # 73092, October 27, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by Harrison Begay of Ship Rock AZ
I think it's high time
Bad Haiku needs new branding
Sample Bad Figpoo
Haiku # 73091, October 27, 2021 4:21 pm ET
by Influencer of of Influencers
slink slink slink slink slink
pink pink pink pink pink pink pink
pink slink pink slink pink
Haiku # 73090, October 27, 2021 4:10 pm ET
by Pinkstarpanther of Halloween
The meth heads next door
burned up all their furniture
for firewood this week
Haiku # 73089, October 27, 2021 12:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Rez Life
You're too smart for that
Aliens can't abduct you
Believe me, we tried

So we enjoy you
from afar. You're a big star!
The show's called Cheez-Wiz
Haiku # 73088, October 27, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by A show about a math wizard of who has surprisingly good taste in cheese
The kid was home schooled
Dumber than a box of rocks
But he loved Jesus
Haiku # 73087, October 27, 2021 10:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
To be abducted.
My number one fantasy.
I'll skip the probe though.
Haiku # 73086, October 27, 2021 7:10 am ET
by I get enough of that at work. of ... Don't we all.
Discover and
History Channel are porn
for the intellect.
Haiku # 73085, October 27, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Sometimes the brain needs a good laugh. of A break from calculating while bending over, lubed up with cash. Aliens.
You know who I am.
That has become obvious.
But what about you?

I don't think you're real.
Or at least not a human.
AI or a ghost.

Maybe alien.
Or ghost alien AI.
History Channel.
Haiku # 73084, October 27, 2021 7:05 am ET
by No, I don't really watch that crap. of But it's fun to peek.
online viagra from india http://www.viagwdp.com/# buy generic viagra no prescription
Haiku # 73083, October 27, 2021 6:42 am ET
by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
The name's Frost. Jack Frost.
I've got a long icicle.
Let's Netflix and chill?
Haiku # 73082, October 27, 2021 5:55 am ET
by Farter of Dry ice
I don't understand
why anyone likes wind chimes
I just like the wind
Haiku # 73081, October 27, 2021 2:50 am ET
by Enough of these fucking wind chimes
Oh, tiramisu
vuoi scopare la torta
saro il dulce
Haiku # 73080, October 27, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Puss of da Boot
Halloween costume
Conjoined twins hitched at the ass
"We shit our pants, Mom."
Haiku # 73079, October 26, 2021 11:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Elon take the wheel
Ya creepy mother fucker
With yer dick rocket
Haiku # 73078, October 26, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Mike Tyson
When you eat snowmen
Feast on the carrot nose/dink
Good for your eyesight
Haiku # 73077, October 26, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Noticer of Healthy Choices
Frosty the Snowman,
covered in snow-cone syrup,
eaten by children.
Haiku # 73076, October 26, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Oh, the humanity!
Jesus take the wheel
But he really shouldn't drive
with those sandals on
Haiku # 73075, October 26, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Evil is afoot.
Janis is a murderer.
She wasted Frosty.
Haiku # 73074, October 26, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by I won't tell though.
Halloween: the night
When damned souls with all the saints
Get down and party.
Haiku # 73073, October 26, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Lazarus of Dead Twice
Steak, lobster, okra,
Beaujolais, and for dessert,
tiramisu cake.
Haiku # 73072, October 26, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by We can laugh at the escargot eaters.
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