Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

The meth heads next door
burned up all their furniture
for firewood this week
Haiku # 73089, October 27, 2021 12:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Rez Life
You're too smart for that
Aliens can't abduct you
Believe me, we tried

So we enjoy you
from afar. You're a big star!
The show's called Cheez-Wiz
Haiku # 73088, October 27, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by A show about a math wizard of who has surprisingly good taste in cheese
The kid was home schooled
Dumber than a box of rocks
But he loved Jesus
Haiku # 73087, October 27, 2021 10:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
To be abducted.
My number one fantasy.
I'll skip the probe though.
Haiku # 73086, October 27, 2021 7:10 am ET
by I get enough of that at work. of ... Don't we all.
Discover and
History Channel are porn
for the intellect.
Haiku # 73085, October 27, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Sometimes the brain needs a good laugh. of A break from calculating while bending over, lubed up with cash. Aliens.
You know who I am.
That has become obvious.
But what about you?

I don't think you're real.
Or at least not a human.
AI or a ghost.

Maybe alien.
Or ghost alien AI.
History Channel.
Haiku # 73084, October 27, 2021 7:05 am ET
by No, I don't really watch that crap. of But it's fun to peek.
online viagra from india http://www.viagwdp.com/# buy generic viagra no prescription
Haiku # 73083, October 27, 2021 6:42 am ET
by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
The name's Frost. Jack Frost.
I've got a long icicle.
Let's Netflix and chill?
Haiku # 73082, October 27, 2021 5:55 am ET
by Farter of Dry ice
I don't understand
why anyone likes wind chimes
I just like the wind
Haiku # 73081, October 27, 2021 2:50 am ET
by Enough of these fucking wind chimes
Oh, tiramisu
vuoi scopare la torta
saro il dulce
Haiku # 73080, October 27, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Puss of da Boot
Halloween costume
Conjoined twins hitched at the ass
"We shit our pants, Mom."
Haiku # 73079, October 26, 2021 11:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Elon take the wheel
Ya creepy mother fucker
With yer dick rocket
Haiku # 73078, October 26, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Mike Tyson
When you eat snowmen
Feast on the carrot nose/dink
Good for your eyesight
Haiku # 73077, October 26, 2021 10:41 pm ET
by Noticer of Healthy Choices
Frosty the Snowman,
covered in snow-cone syrup,
eaten by children.
Haiku # 73076, October 26, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Oh, the humanity!
Jesus take the wheel
But he really shouldn't drive
with those sandals on
Haiku # 73075, October 26, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Evil is afoot.
Janis is a murderer.
She wasted Frosty.
Haiku # 73074, October 26, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by I won't tell though.
Halloween: the night
When damned souls with all the saints
Get down and party.
Haiku # 73073, October 26, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Lazarus of Dead Twice
Steak, lobster, okra,
Beaujolais, and for dessert,
tiramisu cake.
Haiku # 73072, October 26, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by We can laugh at the escargot eaters.
Is Janis sexy?
Maybe she is Starkitten.
They both like bad math.

You plus me, subtract
the clothing, divide the legs,
and then multiply.
Haiku # 73071, October 26, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Memories.
We need a contest.
Haiku with most letters wins.
Lifetime free pizza.

Paid for by Janis.
What a great idea that is.
Tell all of your friends!

Hold up, that won't work.
Poets don't have any friends.
That's why they're poets.
Haiku # 73070, October 26, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by I give up. of Oh well, if I won I'd be a lard-ass in a month.
Spice up your sex life.
Ghost pepper enema bag.
What doesn't kill you.
Haiku # 73069, October 26, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Look on the bright side. of You'll never need to buy pepper spray.
The state of the earth.
Parallels my life's downfall.
And keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 73068, October 26, 2021 9:23 pm ET
by I'm thinking it's a good day to run over school children for Jesus. of I will tell the judge they might grow up to be poets. I'll walk.
Break me off a piece.
walking cannibal jerky
yeah, give me a piece
Haiku # 73067, October 26, 2021 5:18 pm ET
by Break me off a piece of that Fig-Kat bar
Amelia Earhart
flying by the seat of her
bright red Lockheed cunt
Haiku # 73066, October 26, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by Noticer of something fishy
Santa Jesus God
How many of our mothers
has Santa Claus fucked?
Haiku # 73065, October 26, 2021 5:07 pm ET
by Noticer of Jolly Motherfucker of North "Pole"
The cod liver oil
of suspicious origin.
Mary Poppins twat
Haiku # 73064, October 26, 2021 5:04 pm ET
by Spoonful of something
Does Santa Claus poop?
Does it look like a snowball?
Or a lump of coal?
Haiku # 73063, October 26, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Is there any news
of the erect chimneysweep
stuck all day at work?

Andy Williams sings:
it's the holiday season
doo dee doo dee doo
Haiku # 73062, October 26, 2021 4:09 pm ET
by He's coming down the chimney now!
Mary Poppins Twat
can also double as an
umbrella stand
as a
Haiku # 73061, October 26, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of in the most delightful way
Everything else sucks.
Except for this: Bad Haiku.
The rest can eat death.
Haiku # 73060, October 26, 2021 3:22 pm ET
by Halloween All Year
You make those mixes?
I like drinking mixed spirits.
Soon I will be one.
Haiku # 73059, October 26, 2021 1:01 pm ET
by zombies -- walking cannibal jerky
Halloween Mixes.
Raise goosebumps and raise the dead.
Get in the spirit:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrXaSPwQl7lKhrTDZ9f1LSWBAFB-KO6xQ
Haiku # 73058, October 26, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Cleanse the Dead of Raise the Lepers
Number suck my ass.
I hate when pi sucks my ass.
Leaves blueberry stains.
Haiku # 73057, October 26, 2021 11:05 am ET
by har har har
I am a math whore.
Put Descarte befo de horse.
Horse smells Descarte's fart.

I guess this is art.
How would you define these words?
Would you call them turds?
Haiku # 73056, October 26, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Time for sleep.
Try to picture him
wearing sneakers or Timberlands
instead of sandals
Haiku # 73055, October 26, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Noticer of Footwear
Zoomed out of the womb
My first word was a number
the second number
Haiku # 73054, October 26, 2021 5:25 am ET
by #2 of Diaper
Perhaps, Darth, you are
A bad Pythagorean,
You weird numbers guy...
Haiku # 73053, October 26, 2021 5:11 am ET
by Tath Mutor of South Seas
Numerology.
Esoteric mysticism.
Pure superstition.
Haiku # 73052, October 26, 2021 5:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Course Now You Will Equate With Xstianity
Nice day. So Sunni.
Time to rinse off the Shiite.
It's my Wahabi.
Haiku # 73051, October 26, 2021 5:02 am ET
by Turbaned Guy in a Cave of Epileptic Convulsions
Just like real Islam,
They fight over succession
And kill each other.
Haiku # 73050, October 26, 2021 4:54 am ET
by Imam Shabazz of Mecca, NJ
They always follow
Such absolute charlatans.
I just don't get it.
Haiku # 73049, October 26, 2021 4:42 am ET
by Followers of False Prophets
Nation of Islam:
Look into its origins.
So fascinating.
Haiku # 73048, October 26, 2021 4:32 am ET
by Noble Drew Ali, Prince of Final Caliphate of Stoopid
Life sucks, death swallows.
They should have sent me to the gallows.
When they had their chance.
With the dead I'll dance.
And laugh at he who follows.
Haiku # 73047, October 26, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Quothe the Raven, "Don't be a whore."
But do they cure AIDS?
If not, just advertise it.
Get rich, disappear.
Haiku # 73046, October 26, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Y'know?
A good selection
Amazon cat ear headbands
They cure depression
Haiku # 73045, October 25, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by sk of They have tails, too
Pink Panther is good.
I'd kinda like to see that.
I loved that cartoon.
Haiku # 73044, October 25, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fun times. Care free.
What do I call it
if you don't shave your armpits?
Substitute pussy.
Haiku # 73043, October 25, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by LO mofo L
Not a tiger this time
Las Vegas star mauled onstage
It was a kitten
Haiku # 73042, October 25, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Figfried and Hemorrhoid of Canceled
Life truly does suck.
The only glimmer of hope
Is this bad haiku.
Haiku # 73041, October 25, 2021 7:06 pm ET
by Holy Seraphim of Almighty God Enthroned
Eat then shit then eat
Then shit then eat then shit then
Eat then shit then die.
Haiku # 73040, October 25, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's the Life of Man
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