Spice up your sex life.
Ghost pepper enema bag.
What doesn't kill you.
by Look on the bright side. of You'll never need to buy pepper spray.
The state of the earth.
Parallels my life's downfall.
And keeps getting worse.
by I'm thinking it's a good day to run over school children for Jesus. of I will tell the judge they might grow up to be poets. I'll walk.
Break me off a piece.
walking cannibal jerky
yeah, give me a piece
by Break me off a piece of that Fig-Kat bar
Amelia Earhart
flying by the seat of her
bright red Lockheed cunt
by Noticer of something fishy
Santa Jesus God
How many of our mothers
has Santa Claus fucked?
by Noticer of Jolly Motherfucker of North "Pole"
The cod liver oil
of suspicious origin.
Mary Poppins twat
by Spoonful of something
Does Santa Claus poop?
Does it look like a snowball?
Or a lump of coal?
by Noticer of Details
Is there any news
of the erect chimneysweep
stuck all day at work?
Andy Williams sings:
it's the holiday season
doo dee doo dee doo
by He's coming down the chimney now!
Mary Poppins Twat
can also double as an
umbrella stand
as a
by Anonymous Poet of in the most delightful way
Everything else sucks.
Except for this: Bad Haiku.
The rest can eat death.
by Halloween All Year
You make those mixes?
I like drinking mixed spirits.
Soon I will be one.
by zombies -- walking cannibal jerky
Halloween Mixes.
Raise goosebumps and raise the dead.
Get in the spirit:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrXaSPwQl7lKhrTDZ9f1LSWBAFB-KO6xQ
by Cleanse the Dead of Raise the Lepers
Number suck my ass.
I hate when pi sucks my ass.
Leaves blueberry stains.
by har har har
I am a math whore.
Put Descarte befo de horse.
Horse smells Descarte's fart.
I guess this is art.
How would you define these words?
Would you call them turds?
by Time for sleep.
Try to picture him
wearing sneakers or Timberlands
instead of sandals
by Noticer of Footwear
Zoomed out of the womb
My first word was a number
the second number
by #2 of Diaper
Perhaps, Darth, you are
A bad Pythagorean,
You weird numbers guy...
by Tath Mutor of South Seas
Numerology.
Esoteric mysticism.
Pure superstition.
by Anonymous Poet of Course Now You Will Equate With Xstianity
Nice day. So Sunni.
Time to rinse off the Shiite.
It's my Wahabi.
by Turbaned Guy in a Cave of Epileptic Convulsions
Just like real Islam,
They fight over succession
And kill each other.
by Imam Shabazz of Mecca, NJ
They always follow
Such absolute charlatans.
I just don't get it.
by Followers of False Prophets
Nation of Islam:
Look into its origins.
So fascinating.
by Noble Drew Ali, Prince of Final Caliphate of Stoopid
Life sucks, death swallows.
They should have sent me to the gallows.
When they had their chance.
With the dead I'll dance.
And laugh at he who follows.
by Quothe the Raven, "Don't be a whore."
But do they cure AIDS?
If not, just advertise it.
Get rich, disappear.
by Y'know?
A good selection
Amazon cat ear headbands
They cure depression
by sk of They have tails, too
Pink Panther is good.
I'd kinda like to see that.
I loved that cartoon.
by Fun times. Care free.
What do I call it
if you don't shave your armpits?
Substitute pussy.
by LO mofo L
Not a tiger this time
Las Vegas star mauled onstage
It was a kitten
by Figfried and Hemorrhoid of Canceled
Life truly does suck.
The only glimmer of hope
Is this bad haiku.
by Holy Seraphim of Almighty God Enthroned
Eat then shit then eat
Then shit then eat then shit then
Eat then shit then die.
by That's the Life of Man
Define feminist
If I don't shave my armpits?
What do you call that?
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
Crazy feminists
Dress in vagina costumes
And chant at rallies.
by Only in Amurica
Coming this November
Fountains of Bellagio
Liquid Fig Geysers!!
by Viva of Darth Vegas
Already told you
I will dress as Pink Panther
How do you like that?
by Mr. Hankey of 2nd choice
Which super hero
would you be on Halloween
if you had to choose?
The Tick or Fartman?
Maybe a giant dildo?
Chicks would just love it!
Or Captain Hindsight.
Or a "Coon and Friends" hero.
Or Mr. Hankey.
by No, that's too much like a Tootsie Roll. of Yuck!
I think for this year
I'll get packets of Newtons
for Halloween treats.
by Sweet figgy nectar
Watch my fig pucker.
My sweet brown puckering fig.
No fig leaf hides it.
Watch that sweet brown sap
ooze from the juicy ripe fruit.
Sticky ping-pong balls.
by {BARF!!!!}
Get lost, Wayne Newton
See Figpucker Newton Live!
at Caesar's Palace
by Starkitten of Kit Kat Ranch
Not a bad idea.
Perverted gambling tables.
Ping-pong ball shot glass.
Can you imagine???
Limitless combinations!
We will make billions!
by You are a genius!
When Jesus comes back
the first thing he's gonna do
is go to Starbucks
by Son of God of scrawled on cup
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
Depends how many strap-ons they have and how big the light bulb is.
by Anonymous Poet
Visit Darth Vegas
Just the right amount of wrong
Plan your visit now
by Member of Bad Haiku ratpack
Schedule a demo
This month coffee is on us
No purchase required
by Cannibal Coffee of Longpig Roasting Company
I am not righteous.
Only my farts are righteous.
I am wrongteous.
by On so many levels. of that's why you keep coming back.
Hey there big-boy(wink) . . .
Tokyo Rose here. Watcha doin' ?
Writin' some haiku?
by Give Up Yankee of You Are Already Defeated By My Haiku
We tek-u sri scoops:
Za tripur aisu-krimu
Wizz jimi on top.
by Notu Jimi Hendrix-u of Tokushima Prefecture
I am as righteous
as Job, yes, but I am not
as righteous as Darth.
by Righteousness of Christ Himself Imputed to ME ?
When Jesus returns
He will arrive right here first:
Bad Haiku website.
by 2nd Witness of Revelation (I am only Elijah, not Messiah)
Just to clarify,
her folks had seen many pics
better than that one.
by Have you ever killed anyone? of "It's just murder. All God's creatures do it in some form or another."
I hate Eskimos.
No, really, I fucking do.
Goddamn whale eaters.
by But they aren't as bad as the Japs. of Who eat everything alive and write haiku.
