Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 347 Days and 77326 Haiku later...

Not a tiger this time
Las Vegas star mauled onstage
It was a kitten
Haiku # 73042, October 25, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Figfried and Hemorrhoid of Canceled
Life truly does suck.
The only glimmer of hope
Is this bad haiku.
Haiku # 73041, October 25, 2021 7:06 pm ET
by Holy Seraphim of Almighty God Enthroned
Eat then shit then eat
Then shit then eat then shit then
Eat then shit then die.
Haiku # 73040, October 25, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's the Life of Man
Define feminist
If I don't shave my armpits?
What do you call that?
Haiku # 73039, October 25, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
Crazy feminists
Dress in vagina costumes
And chant at rallies.
Haiku # 73038, October 25, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Only in Amurica
Coming this November
Fountains of Bellagio
Liquid Fig Geysers!!
Haiku # 73037, October 25, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by Viva of Darth Vegas
Already told you
I will dress as Pink Panther
How do you like that?
Haiku # 73036, October 25, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by Mr. Hankey of 2nd choice
Which super hero
would you be on Halloween
if you had to choose?

The Tick or Fartman?
Maybe a giant dildo?
Chicks would just love it!

Or Captain Hindsight.
Or a "Coon and Friends" hero.
Or Mr. Hankey.
Haiku # 73035, October 25, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by No, that's too much like a Tootsie Roll. of Yuck!
I think for this year
I'll get packets of Newtons
for Halloween treats.
Haiku # 73034, October 25, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by Sweet figgy nectar
Watch my fig pucker.
My sweet brown puckering fig.
No fig leaf hides it.

Watch that sweet brown sap
ooze from the juicy ripe fruit.
Sticky ping-pong balls.
Haiku # 73033, October 25, 2021 1:43 pm ET
by {BARF!!!!}
Get lost, Wayne Newton
See Figpucker Newton Live!
at Caesar's Palace
Haiku # 73032, October 25, 2021 1:31 pm ET
by Starkitten of Kit Kat Ranch
Not a bad idea.
Perverted gambling tables.
Ping-pong ball shot glass.

Can you imagine???
Limitless combinations!
We will make billions!
Haiku # 73031, October 25, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by You are a genius!
When Jesus comes back
the first thing he's gonna do
is go to Starbucks
Haiku # 73030, October 25, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Son of God of scrawled on cup
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
Depends how many strap-ons they have and how big the light bulb is.
Haiku # 73029, October 25, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Visit Darth Vegas
Just the right amount of wrong
Plan your visit now
Haiku # 73028, October 25, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by Member of Bad Haiku ratpack
Schedule a demo
This month coffee is on us
No purchase required
Haiku # 73027, October 25, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by Cannibal Coffee of Longpig Roasting Company
I am not righteous.
Only my farts are righteous.
I am wrongteous.
Haiku # 73026, October 25, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by On so many levels. of that's why you keep coming back.
Hey there big-boy(wink) . . .
Tokyo Rose here. Watcha doin' ?
Writin' some haiku?
Haiku # 73025, October 25, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Give Up Yankee of You Are Already Defeated By My Haiku
We tek-u sri scoops:
Za tripur aisu-krimu
Wizz jimi on top.
Haiku # 73024, October 25, 2021 11:23 am ET
by Notu Jimi Hendrix-u of Tokushima Prefecture
I am as righteous
as Job, yes, but I am not
as righteous as Darth.
Haiku # 73023, October 25, 2021 11:18 am ET
by Righteousness of Christ Himself Imputed to ME ?
When Jesus returns
He will arrive right here first:
Bad Haiku website.
Haiku # 73022, October 25, 2021 11:11 am ET
by 2nd Witness of Revelation (I am only Elijah, not Messiah)
Just to clarify,
her folks had seen many pics
better than that one.
Haiku # 73021, October 25, 2021 11:01 am ET
by Have you ever killed anyone? of "It's just murder. All God's creatures do it in some form or another."
I hate Eskimos.
No, really, I fucking do.
Goddamn whale eaters.
Haiku # 73020, October 25, 2021 10:54 am ET
by But they aren't as bad as the Japs. of Who eat everything alive and write haiku.
Racism is fun.
More when it's the human race.
We all need to die.
Haiku # 73019, October 25, 2021 10:53 am ET
by Oh shit, there goes the planet.
She scrolls through my phone,
leans over and asks, "What's this?"
"Oh, that's my penis."
Haiku # 73018, October 25, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Dinner with the parents. of They were not impressed.
I am not Jesus.
I don't forgive anyone.
They should all suffer.
Haiku # 73017, October 25, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Least of all that Stephanie Burt. of Burt needs some Butt hURT.
Kwannon of mercy
Avalokitesvara
Do not forgive them.
Haiku # 73016, October 25, 2021 10:39 am ET
by For frequenting This Website
That Stephanie Burt.
She's as cute as a button.
Or maybe a butt.
Haiku # 73015, October 25, 2021 10:30 am ET
by But Its Poetry Sucks of HimHerHarvardHarDeHarHar
The new-wave haiku:
It's about social justice
And anti-racism.
Haiku # 73014, October 25, 2021 10:15 am ET
by George Gates of Bill Soros
Plastic replicas.
Weird little cats with raised paw.
Strange vending-machines.
Haiku # 73013, October 25, 2021 10:09 am ET
by Flashbacks of Iwo Jima and Suribachi
Hai! Ah so, gaijin
We selve you aisu-krimu
In raj shuga-cone.
Haiku # 73012, October 25, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Za Greatest-u Shogun of Olientol Rising-u Sun
I am avatar.
The avatar of haiku.
Soon you feel my wrath.
Haiku # 73011, October 25, 2021 9:57 am ET
by Little Fat Kid with Glasses of And Freckles
That is NOT funny.
The only comical thing
Is Feminism.
Haiku # 73010, October 25, 2021 9:52 am ET
by How Many Feminists of To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Then, crashing down on
Yankee aircraft carrier
From so high, high, high!
Haiku # 73009, October 25, 2021 9:46 am ET
by Skit From that Cheech and Chong Record of 1970's
Hey there, haiku kids!
Let's all commit Seppuku
After bombing run.
Haiku # 73008, October 25, 2021 9:42 am ET
by Emperor Hirohito's Mother of Banzai Sukiyaki
Now, back to hatred
Grievous error, psychosis,
and more: Haiku time!
Haiku # 73007, October 25, 2021 9:38 am ET
by Some Ghost of a Dead Jap Moaning Under Picturesque Village Bridge of 18th Century Woodcut
I'm not big on sweets
But I do have a problem with
Vanilla Halva.
Haiku # 73006, October 25, 2021 9:33 am ET
by That Mid-east Fudge With Pistachios of Always eat half the container or more
That's what Elvis ate
After he got all dosed up
With his narcotics.
Haiku # 73005, October 25, 2021 9:25 am ET
by I Enjoy It Drug-free of King of Black Velvet
The sandwich for me:
Peanut-butter/banana
On toasted whole-wheat.
Haiku # 73004, October 25, 2021 9:22 am ET
by Non-hydrogenated of Agreed
That sounds delicious
Canadians fuck it up
with too much sugar
Haiku # 73003, October 25, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Noticer of Fucked up Canadian peanut butter
Homeless drug addict.
Humping his cardboard sleep mat.
Drooling, looks at you.
Haiku # 73002, October 25, 2021 8:00 am ET
by Go ahead, flash your teats. of Let him have a good wank.
Damn good PBJ.
Wheat bread, blackberry jelly,
natural Smucker's.
Haiku # 73001, October 25, 2021 7:55 am ET
by 100% peanuts peanut butter. of Fuck that hydrogenated repurposed motor oil shite that Jif makes.
Fukushima men
Glow in the dark penises
make handy night lights
Haiku # 73000, October 25, 2021 7:26 am ET
by Now you can read in bed of Deluxe model has adjustable goose neck
I'm in the mood for
nachos, simply cuz I watched
Beavis and Butthead.
Haiku # 72999, October 25, 2021 6:57 am ET
by Everything's better with cheddar.
Bon, ben... tu es con.
Vraiment un connard trop bete.
De fromage tu parles.
Haiku # 72998, October 25, 2021 6:53 am ET
by La Domestique of Tyrone tha Brie Deala
What y'all gone git there
Is flaming sulfur an FIRE.
Not faggot-ass cheese.
Haiku # 72997, October 25, 2021 6:42 am ET
by Damn U Stoopid of Tyrone School of Lyrix
Y'all down there in hell
And y'all want cheese an French toast.
Aint none in HELL bro.
Haiku # 72996, October 25, 2021 6:38 am ET
by Tyrone tha Rula of Alliance Francaise
It's like pyjamas
But I added the tail part
What suit would you wear?
Haiku # 72995, October 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by sk of fireplace
Pink Panther costume
Not going trick-or-treating
But might still dress up
Haiku # 72994, October 24, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Google .gif of him warming his bum of by the fireplace.
How about French toast?
The secret is make it slow
with stale brioche, right?
Haiku # 72993, October 24, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Talk about food some more of I can almost taste it. Nothing to eat here
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