Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I am as righteous
as Job, yes, but I am not
as righteous as Darth.
Haiku # 73023, October 25, 2021 11:18 am ET
by Righteousness of Christ Himself Imputed to ME ?
When Jesus returns
He will arrive right here first:
Bad Haiku website.
Haiku # 73022, October 25, 2021 11:11 am ET
by 2nd Witness of Revelation (I am only Elijah, not Messiah)
Just to clarify,
her folks had seen many pics
better than that one.
Haiku # 73021, October 25, 2021 11:01 am ET
by Have you ever killed anyone? of "It's just murder. All God's creatures do it in some form or another."
I hate Eskimos.
No, really, I fucking do.
Goddamn whale eaters.
Haiku # 73020, October 25, 2021 10:54 am ET
by But they aren't as bad as the Japs. of Who eat everything alive and write haiku.
Racism is fun.
More when it's the human race.
We all need to die.
Haiku # 73019, October 25, 2021 10:53 am ET
by Oh shit, there goes the planet.
She scrolls through my phone,
leans over and asks, "What's this?"
"Oh, that's my penis."
Haiku # 73018, October 25, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Dinner with the parents. of They were not impressed.
I am not Jesus.
I don't forgive anyone.
They should all suffer.
Haiku # 73017, October 25, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Least of all that Stephanie Burt. of Burt needs some Butt hURT.
Kwannon of mercy
Avalokitesvara
Do not forgive them.
Haiku # 73016, October 25, 2021 10:39 am ET
by For frequenting This Website
That Stephanie Burt.
She's as cute as a button.
Or maybe a butt.
Haiku # 73015, October 25, 2021 10:30 am ET
by But Its Poetry Sucks of HimHerHarvardHarDeHarHar
The new-wave haiku:
It's about social justice
And anti-racism.
Haiku # 73014, October 25, 2021 10:15 am ET
by George Gates of Bill Soros
Plastic replicas.
Weird little cats with raised paw.
Strange vending-machines.
Haiku # 73013, October 25, 2021 10:09 am ET
by Flashbacks of Iwo Jima and Suribachi
Hai! Ah so, gaijin
We selve you aisu-krimu
In raj shuga-cone.
Haiku # 73012, October 25, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Za Greatest-u Shogun of Olientol Rising-u Sun
I am avatar.
The avatar of haiku.
Soon you feel my wrath.
Haiku # 73011, October 25, 2021 9:57 am ET
by Little Fat Kid with Glasses of And Freckles
That is NOT funny.
The only comical thing
Is Feminism.
Haiku # 73010, October 25, 2021 9:52 am ET
by How Many Feminists of To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Then, crashing down on
Yankee aircraft carrier
From so high, high, high!
Haiku # 73009, October 25, 2021 9:46 am ET
by Skit From that Cheech and Chong Record of 1970's
Hey there, haiku kids!
Let's all commit Seppuku
After bombing run.
Haiku # 73008, October 25, 2021 9:42 am ET
by Emperor Hirohito's Mother of Banzai Sukiyaki
Now, back to hatred
Grievous error, psychosis,
and more: Haiku time!
Haiku # 73007, October 25, 2021 9:38 am ET
by Some Ghost of a Dead Jap Moaning Under Picturesque Village Bridge of 18th Century Woodcut
I'm not big on sweets
But I do have a problem with
Vanilla Halva.
Haiku # 73006, October 25, 2021 9:33 am ET
by That Mid-east Fudge With Pistachios of Always eat half the container or more
That's what Elvis ate
After he got all dosed up
With his narcotics.
Haiku # 73005, October 25, 2021 9:25 am ET
by I Enjoy It Drug-free of King of Black Velvet
The sandwich for me:
Peanut-butter/banana
On toasted whole-wheat.
Haiku # 73004, October 25, 2021 9:22 am ET
by Non-hydrogenated of Agreed
That sounds delicious
Canadians fuck it up
with too much sugar
Haiku # 73003, October 25, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Noticer of Fucked up Canadian peanut butter
Homeless drug addict.
Humping his cardboard sleep mat.
Drooling, looks at you.
Haiku # 73002, October 25, 2021 8:00 am ET
by Go ahead, flash your teats. of Let him have a good wank.
Damn good PBJ.
Wheat bread, blackberry jelly,
natural Smucker's.
Haiku # 73001, October 25, 2021 7:55 am ET
by 100% peanuts peanut butter. of Fuck that hydrogenated repurposed motor oil shite that Jif makes.
Fukushima men
Glow in the dark penises
make handy night lights
Haiku # 73000, October 25, 2021 7:26 am ET
by Now you can read in bed of Deluxe model has adjustable goose neck
I'm in the mood for
nachos, simply cuz I watched
Beavis and Butthead.
Haiku # 72999, October 25, 2021 6:57 am ET
by Everything's better with cheddar.
Bon, ben... tu es con.
Vraiment un connard trop bete.
De fromage tu parles.
Haiku # 72998, October 25, 2021 6:53 am ET
by La Domestique of Tyrone tha Brie Deala
What y'all gone git there
Is flaming sulfur an FIRE.
Not faggot-ass cheese.
Haiku # 72997, October 25, 2021 6:42 am ET
by Damn U Stoopid of Tyrone School of Lyrix
Y'all down there in hell
And y'all want cheese an French toast.
Aint none in HELL bro.
Haiku # 72996, October 25, 2021 6:38 am ET
by Tyrone tha Rula of Alliance Francaise
It's like pyjamas
But I added the tail part
What suit would you wear?
Haiku # 72995, October 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by sk of fireplace
Pink Panther costume
Not going trick-or-treating
But might still dress up
Haiku # 72994, October 24, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Google .gif of him warming his bum of by the fireplace.
How about French toast?
The secret is make it slow
with stale brioche, right?
Haiku # 72993, October 24, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Talk about food some more of I can almost taste it. Nothing to eat here
Now I am craving
brie on brioche with creme fraiche
and heirloom cocaine.
Haiku # 72992, October 24, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Because I can.
You're the same person.
Ten kilos of castor beans.
How much will it cost?
Haiku # 72991, October 24, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Thanks.
And to think I thought
that you were not "Starkitten"...
You big poser, you.
Haiku # 72990, October 24, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Troll Intervention of Trollsville
You're such a big poof.
Brioche? Are you serious?
Polly-voo Fransay?
Haiku # 72989, October 24, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Marie-Antoinette of Versailles
Schwinn's not a bad brand.
Old fashioned one-speed cruiser?
Bet pink or purple.

I've got a bike,
you can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings
and things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could,
but I borrowed it.
Haiku # 72988, October 24, 2021 8:38 pm ET
by Do you catch spiders in your house under a glass. of slide some paper under it and release them outdoors?
You say that you walk,
I bet dance on table tops.
[Inserts dollar bill.]
Haiku # 72987, October 24, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I need one of those remote control fart noise makers. of I miss Halloween pranks.
Like a brioche, huh?
[Insert yeast infection joke.]
Maybe with humus.
Haiku # 72986, October 24, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Why do you ask so many questions?
Oui, I ride a bike
with flowers and fresh baguette
filling the basket
Haiku # 72985, October 24, 2021 6:50 pm ET
by Cat on a hot Schwinn bike of purr de France
It looks like brioche
I walk on the tabletop
like the cats in France
Haiku # 72984, October 24, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by chaton d'etoille of sur la table
Now I have to ask.
Does your ass look like pizza?
Is it extra large?
Haiku # 72983, October 24, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by Is that a pepperoni in your pocket? of Or are you happy to see me?
By peddling ass,
I assume you ride a bike.
If not, then you should.

What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year?
Covid molecule?
Haiku # 72982, October 24, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by I'll be Fart Man (copying Howard Stern)
Whore secretary
nanny chef maid chauffeur and
security guard.
Haiku # 72981, October 24, 2021 5:36 pm ET
by And dingleberry removal expert.
What are you talking about???
Sexy??? You need a shrink or an eye doctor.
And I need some sleep!
Fuck counting.
Haiku # 72980, October 24, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
Клей-сварка Алмаз
Клей-сварка по японской технологии: крепеж, герметик, "холодная сварка"!
Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka клей сварка epoxy steel
Haiku # 72979, October 24, 2021 4:05 pm ET
by Peresleginqzi of Russia
MasterCard, Visa
and an extra large pizza
What it will cost you.
Haiku # 72978, October 24, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Peddler of my ass
The name's Fig. Darth Fig.
How many secretaries?
You sexy math spy
Haiku # 72977, October 24, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by Starkitten Galore
You are white devils.
Doctor Yakub grafted you
From snakes and demons.
Haiku # 72976, October 24, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by His Holiness the Honorable Prophet Elijah Moohamad of Bangin' Teenage Secretaries in my Free Time

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Только эти!
А тАкож Работаем со Студиями!
Haiku # 72975, October 24, 2021 12:42 pm ET
by MiloshVlasovs of Russia
Take a look at this
(pic) Ogre bending over
Cancer free colon
Haiku # 72974, October 24, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Noticer of Shrek's green asshole
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