Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 347 Days and 77326 Haiku later...

Amelia Earhart
flying by the seat of her
bright red Lockheed cunt
Haiku # 73066, October 26, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by Noticer of something fishy
Santa Jesus God
How many of our mothers
has Santa Claus fucked?
Haiku # 73065, October 26, 2021 5:07 pm ET
by Noticer of Jolly Motherfucker of North "Pole"
The cod liver oil
of suspicious origin.
Mary Poppins twat
Haiku # 73064, October 26, 2021 5:04 pm ET
by Spoonful of something
Does Santa Claus poop?
Does it look like a snowball?
Or a lump of coal?
Haiku # 73063, October 26, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Is there any news
of the erect chimneysweep
stuck all day at work?

Andy Williams sings:
it's the holiday season
doo dee doo dee doo
Haiku # 73062, October 26, 2021 4:09 pm ET
by He's coming down the chimney now!
Mary Poppins Twat
can also double as an
umbrella stand
as a
Haiku # 73061, October 26, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of in the most delightful way
Everything else sucks.
Except for this: Bad Haiku.
The rest can eat death.
Haiku # 73060, October 26, 2021 3:22 pm ET
by Halloween All Year
You make those mixes?
I like drinking mixed spirits.
Soon I will be one.
Haiku # 73059, October 26, 2021 1:01 pm ET
by zombies -- walking cannibal jerky
Halloween Mixes.
Raise goosebumps and raise the dead.
Get in the spirit:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrXaSPwQl7lKhrTDZ9f1LSWBAFB-KO6xQ
Haiku # 73058, October 26, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Cleanse the Dead of Raise the Lepers
Number suck my ass.
I hate when pi sucks my ass.
Leaves blueberry stains.
Haiku # 73057, October 26, 2021 11:05 am ET
by har har har
I am a math whore.
Put Descarte befo de horse.
Horse smells Descarte's fart.

I guess this is art.
How would you define these words?
Would you call them turds?
Haiku # 73056, October 26, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Time for sleep.
Try to picture him
wearing sneakers or Timberlands
instead of sandals
Haiku # 73055, October 26, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Noticer of Footwear
Zoomed out of the womb
My first word was a number
the second number
Haiku # 73054, October 26, 2021 5:25 am ET
by #2 of Diaper
Perhaps, Darth, you are
A bad Pythagorean,
You weird numbers guy...
Haiku # 73053, October 26, 2021 5:11 am ET
by Tath Mutor of South Seas
Numerology.
Esoteric mysticism.
Pure superstition.
Haiku # 73052, October 26, 2021 5:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Course Now You Will Equate With Xstianity
Nice day. So Sunni.
Time to rinse off the Shiite.
It's my Wahabi.
Haiku # 73051, October 26, 2021 5:02 am ET
by Turbaned Guy in a Cave of Epileptic Convulsions
Just like real Islam,
They fight over succession
And kill each other.
Haiku # 73050, October 26, 2021 4:54 am ET
by Imam Shabazz of Mecca, NJ
They always follow
Such absolute charlatans.
I just don't get it.
Haiku # 73049, October 26, 2021 4:42 am ET
by Followers of False Prophets
Nation of Islam:
Look into its origins.
So fascinating.
Haiku # 73048, October 26, 2021 4:32 am ET
by Noble Drew Ali, Prince of Final Caliphate of Stoopid
Life sucks, death swallows.
They should have sent me to the gallows.
When they had their chance.
With the dead I'll dance.
And laugh at he who follows.
Haiku # 73047, October 26, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Quothe the Raven, "Don't be a whore."
But do they cure AIDS?
If not, just advertise it.
Get rich, disappear.
Haiku # 73046, October 26, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Y'know?
A good selection
Amazon cat ear headbands
They cure depression
Haiku # 73045, October 25, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by sk of They have tails, too
Pink Panther is good.
I'd kinda like to see that.
I loved that cartoon.
Haiku # 73044, October 25, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fun times. Care free.
What do I call it
if you don't shave your armpits?
Substitute pussy.
Haiku # 73043, October 25, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by LO mofo L
Not a tiger this time
Las Vegas star mauled onstage
It was a kitten
Haiku # 73042, October 25, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Figfried and Hemorrhoid of Canceled
Life truly does suck.
The only glimmer of hope
Is this bad haiku.
Haiku # 73041, October 25, 2021 7:06 pm ET
by Holy Seraphim of Almighty God Enthroned
Eat then shit then eat
Then shit then eat then shit then
Eat then shit then die.
Haiku # 73040, October 25, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's the Life of Man
Define feminist
If I don't shave my armpits?
What do you call that?
Haiku # 73039, October 25, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Chaka of Land of the Lost
Crazy feminists
Dress in vagina costumes
And chant at rallies.
Haiku # 73038, October 25, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Only in Amurica
Coming this November
Fountains of Bellagio
Liquid Fig Geysers!!
Haiku # 73037, October 25, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by Viva of Darth Vegas
Already told you
I will dress as Pink Panther
How do you like that?
Haiku # 73036, October 25, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by Mr. Hankey of 2nd choice
Which super hero
would you be on Halloween
if you had to choose?

The Tick or Fartman?
Maybe a giant dildo?
Chicks would just love it!

Or Captain Hindsight.
Or a "Coon and Friends" hero.
Or Mr. Hankey.
Haiku # 73035, October 25, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by No, that's too much like a Tootsie Roll. of Yuck!
I think for this year
I'll get packets of Newtons
for Halloween treats.
Haiku # 73034, October 25, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by Sweet figgy nectar
Watch my fig pucker.
My sweet brown puckering fig.
No fig leaf hides it.

Watch that sweet brown sap
ooze from the juicy ripe fruit.
Sticky ping-pong balls.
Haiku # 73033, October 25, 2021 1:43 pm ET
by {BARF!!!!}
Get lost, Wayne Newton
See Figpucker Newton Live!
at Caesar's Palace
Haiku # 73032, October 25, 2021 1:31 pm ET
by Starkitten of Kit Kat Ranch
Not a bad idea.
Perverted gambling tables.
Ping-pong ball shot glass.

Can you imagine???
Limitless combinations!
We will make billions!
Haiku # 73031, October 25, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by You are a genius!
When Jesus comes back
the first thing he's gonna do
is go to Starbucks
Haiku # 73030, October 25, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Son of God of scrawled on cup
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
Depends how many strap-ons they have and how big the light bulb is.
Haiku # 73029, October 25, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Visit Darth Vegas
Just the right amount of wrong
Plan your visit now
Haiku # 73028, October 25, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by Member of Bad Haiku ratpack
Schedule a demo
This month coffee is on us
No purchase required
Haiku # 73027, October 25, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by Cannibal Coffee of Longpig Roasting Company
I am not righteous.
Only my farts are righteous.
I am wrongteous.
Haiku # 73026, October 25, 2021 1:03 pm ET
by On so many levels. of that's why you keep coming back.
Hey there big-boy(wink) . . .
Tokyo Rose here. Watcha doin' ?
Writin' some haiku?
Haiku # 73025, October 25, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Give Up Yankee of You Are Already Defeated By My Haiku
We tek-u sri scoops:
Za tripur aisu-krimu
Wizz jimi on top.
Haiku # 73024, October 25, 2021 11:23 am ET
by Notu Jimi Hendrix-u of Tokushima Prefecture
I am as righteous
as Job, yes, but I am not
as righteous as Darth.
Haiku # 73023, October 25, 2021 11:18 am ET
by Righteousness of Christ Himself Imputed to ME ?
When Jesus returns
He will arrive right here first:
Bad Haiku website.
Haiku # 73022, October 25, 2021 11:11 am ET
by 2nd Witness of Revelation (I am only Elijah, not Messiah)
Just to clarify,
her folks had seen many pics
better than that one.
Haiku # 73021, October 25, 2021 11:01 am ET
by Have you ever killed anyone? of "It's just murder. All God's creatures do it in some form or another."
I hate Eskimos.
No, really, I fucking do.
Goddamn whale eaters.
Haiku # 73020, October 25, 2021 10:54 am ET
by But they aren't as bad as the Japs. of Who eat everything alive and write haiku.
Racism is fun.
More when it's the human race.
We all need to die.
Haiku # 73019, October 25, 2021 10:53 am ET
by Oh shit, there goes the planet.
She scrolls through my phone,
leans over and asks, "What's this?"
"Oh, that's my penis."
Haiku # 73018, October 25, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Dinner with the parents. of They were not impressed.
I am not Jesus.
I don't forgive anyone.
They should all suffer.
Haiku # 73017, October 25, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Least of all that Stephanie Burt. of Burt needs some Butt hURT.
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