Life is much better.
Now I see most women as
Walking vaginas.
by Betty Friedan of The Feminine Mistaque
Haloween is here.
It's the best time of the year.
Peace, love, and goodwill.
by Darthkitten of Starpucker
Does Jesus hate golf,
or is that only Buddha?
Smash the damn TV!
by I'm not racist, but Tiger Woods should die.
A young man's penis
is possessed by the devil
and spits up pea soup.
by Watch the Peckercyst of Channel 666
I like seaweed snacks
Like eating rolling papers
but with wasabi
by starkitten of purrcific nw
Under house arrest
but I committed no crime
Going stir crazy
by Stuck of Middle of nowhere
Tom Bosley's Nozzle
There's an actual ski trail
named after him. Wow!
by Starkitten of Shredding trails like I shred your new couch
We eat the curry
Fart directly in your face
You're on vacation!
You've seen India
Where would you like to go next?
Holland? No problem
by Ms. Metheney (travel agent) of Prepping my "windmill"
Holland might be good.
Grow me some magic mushrooms.
Sell them all over.
That's what the world wants.
Get high and escape this shit.
And I can't argue.
by go with the flow and grow grow grow!
Funtabulousness.
You might think it's meaningless.
It should be a word.
by We just have to give it meaning. of The degree to which a cunt is fun and fabulous.
Love me some hot chai.
Chai kind of makes me horny.
Bang me some Injuns.
Wrap it up real good.
Months of antibiotics.
Hope you don't get AIDS.
by I think it's best to just stay in bum-fuck Indiana or whereever. of Know what I mean, Vern?
But I like the food.
Way better than Philippines.
Fucking Jolibee.
by I don't get how people can eat food that I would rather throw away than even look at. of It's good not to be poor... but that shit costs a lot! And they love it!
Hindus only have
a plethera of VD.
Been to India?
by Embrace the nature of our microbial brothers and stuff. of All is one is all.
GLBTQ
gathered for a BBQ.
Jeffrey Dahmer came.
by I don't care if someone's gay. of But when they slip it in (pun?) their conversation every other minute, I feel violated.
Oh light! Oh sweetness!
Oh blessed sunrise birdsong!
Look out for that corpse....
by Keep Cadaver and Carry On
Hindus have the truth.
Because of six-armed idols.
Yup. Oh yes. For Sure.
by Mahendra Chandarapattikundarswamipalajanandaram of Mysore Tong (UE)
I am The Lord God.
I created Lucifer.
(What? . . . I'm just typing)
by Mom Didn't Knock First
THIS is the Frontier !
Final phase of LIBERTY --
...sorry, ossifer.
by Pulled Over While Typing Haiku at 83 mph of BadBadBad
Human filth is gold.
Our inner tubes filled with light.
Flatulence: incense.
by Holiness of Human Race
You SHUT UP, dumbass.
You just shut your dumbass mouth.
And stop typing too.
by That's My Haiku of I'm Sticking To It
How much do you know
About GLBTQ
on and on and on ?
by Microsoft of Softcore Stupid
Miss Stephanie B:
One fake-ass poetess
That's really a man.
by Change the Plumbing of Condemned House
This website reminds
me of that game, Cards Against
Humanity. Right???
by I am right! of See how vile and silly we can possibly be.
I have a cousin
that called pooping dropping bombs.
There's something to that.
Really evil bombs
have poop mixed in with shrapnel.
Infections throughout!
Not normal warfare;
for people you really hate.
... unless they like poop.
by I prefer chemical warfare. of Trying to see if there's a way I can make toxic farts and not die myself. I will be a weapon of ass destruction.
No one will find you
Haikunabomber's cabin
(doubles as outhouse)
by (picture of unidentifiable poet wearing a hoodie) of Unknown
When dildos explode
They don't release any load
Just toxic plastic
by Greta Thunburg's mother of Sifting through debris
That is uncalled for.
Terrorism is no joke.
Exploding dildos.
by Arby's Secret Recipe
should make bongs not bombs
but no smoking for toddlers
give them edibles
by 'Cause smoking is bad for their little lungs of Nebraska Silo
Lawrence Livermore?
I need some nuclear waste.
One metric ton's good.
Buy one, get one free?
You've got to be shitting me!
That's an awesome deal.
Sure I'll tell my friends.
I won't say where I got it.
And if you need kush...
by You dirty little bomb, you like that don'tcha?!
I'm wanting to die.
Taking others along too.
Taliban recruit.
by Nothing better to do.
Details of entrails.
Weather forcast in bird guts.
Cue "Witchy Woman".
by Be funny to see that on Wall Street.
I was noticing
If it's all in the details
I noticed it all
by Noticer of details
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by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
How to read poems
First, make sure no one's looking
Next, get out the lube
by Stephanie Burt of Harvard
Don't Read Poetry.
A book by Stephanie Burt.
I used it to wipe.
by First soak in water for a bit to soften it up. of Hey, it was the author's suggestion!
I was just thinking
I'm there for you every time
you do your business
by Conversation with my dog of Now that's defecation!
It's superMA'AM!
Well Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!
Billy Batson's butt!
Inappropriate.
Jim Nabors banging Kal-El.
It might get pinched off.
by Be careful, Gomer Pyle! of They'll run you out of Mayberry!
Purple hair and spikes.
Yet another vain attempt.
Proving one's "wokeness".
by I'm joining the white cracker commies. of At least I can be on the winning side. When the shit goes down.
Batman is laughing.
Kal-El is gobblin' some noots.
Deez noots in cream sauce.
by Somehow I'm not surprised. of It's Trump's fault.
Superman won't fight
for the American way.
Now that's really gay!
by Commies taking over!
Red bibb on the back.
Now I become Super Pooh.
But still I'm not gay.
Don't overthink it.
I've not got much brain to think.
I'd love some honey.
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't happen
to have a pot of honey?
It's my kryptonite.
by Winnie the Pooh bear.
Winnie the Pooh's ass.
Can't help but want to squeeze it.
Superman's now gay.
by Squeeze it, grease it, and sleez it.
Don't steal, don't gamble...
Talking about the man called
Michael Campbell. (DUB)
by Beyond WWIII
Rock bands should not preach.
They just need to do their art.
It doesn't age well.
by Strum Strum of It Ain't Mozart
I love their record
With dub-master Mikey Dread
Called 'Black Market Clash'
by Bank Robber of Armagideon Time
Used to like the Clash.
But now Joe's voice makes me cringe.
A few songs still good...
by The preachy Leftism gets dull...
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by Rybickijqyw of Russia
Which one would you fuck?
2 day old, stale baguette bread
Everything bagel
by Anonymous Poet
Never robbed a bank
bank error in my favor
100 dollars
Noticed it later
She gave my dog a biscuit
in the drive thru tube
by Noticer of $$$ (eventually)
