Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I am The Lord God.
I created Lucifer.
(What? . . . I'm just typing)
Haiku # 72876, October 21, 2021 9:46 am ET
by Mom Didn't Knock First
THIS is the Frontier !
Final phase of LIBERTY --
...sorry, ossifer.
Haiku # 72875, October 21, 2021 9:43 am ET
by Pulled Over While Typing Haiku at 83 mph of BadBadBad
Human filth is gold.
Our inner tubes filled with light.
Flatulence: incense.
Haiku # 72874, October 21, 2021 9:36 am ET
by Holiness of Human Race
You SHUT UP, dumbass.
You just shut your dumbass mouth.
And stop typing too.
Haiku # 72873, October 21, 2021 9:33 am ET
by That's My Haiku of I'm Sticking To It
How much do you know
About GLBTQ
on and on and on ?
Haiku # 72872, October 21, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Microsoft of Softcore Stupid
Miss Stephanie B:
One fake-ass poetess
That's really a man.
Haiku # 72871, October 21, 2021 9:27 am ET
by Change the Plumbing of Condemned House
This website reminds
me of that game, Cards Against
Humanity. Right???
Haiku # 72870, October 21, 2021 9:20 am ET
by I am right! of See how vile and silly we can possibly be.
I have a cousin
that called pooping dropping bombs.
There's something to that.

Really evil bombs
have poop mixed in with shrapnel.
Infections throughout!

Not normal warfare;
for people you really hate.
... unless they like poop.
Haiku # 72869, October 21, 2021 9:17 am ET
by I prefer chemical warfare. of Trying to see if there's a way I can make toxic farts and not die myself. I will be a weapon of ass destruction.
No one will find you
Haikunabomber's cabin
(doubles as outhouse)
Haiku # 72868, October 21, 2021 7:37 am ET
by (picture of unidentifiable poet wearing a hoodie) of Unknown
When dildos explode
They don't release any load
Just toxic plastic
Haiku # 72867, October 21, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Greta Thunburg's mother of Sifting through debris
That is uncalled for.
Terrorism is no joke.
Exploding dildos.
Haiku # 72866, October 20, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Arby's Secret Recipe
should make bongs not bombs
but no smoking for toddlers
give them edibles
Haiku # 72865, October 20, 2021 10:48 pm ET
by 'Cause smoking is bad for their little lungs of Nebraska Silo
Lawrence Livermore?
I need some nuclear waste.
One metric ton's good.

Buy one, get one free?
You've got to be shitting me!
That's an awesome deal.

Sure I'll tell my friends.
I won't say where I got it.
And if you need kush...
Haiku # 72864, October 20, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by You dirty little bomb, you like that don'tcha?!
I'm wanting to die.
Taking others along too.
Taliban recruit.
Haiku # 72863, October 20, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by Nothing better to do.
Details of entrails.
Weather forcast in bird guts.
Cue "Witchy Woman".
Haiku # 72862, October 20, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by Be funny to see that on Wall Street.
I was noticing
If it's all in the details
I noticed it all
Haiku # 72861, October 20, 2021 7:46 pm ET
by Noticer of details
online ed meds http://viagwdp.com/ buying viagra without prescription
Haiku # 72860, October 20, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
How to read poems
First, make sure no one's looking
Next, get out the lube
Haiku # 72859, October 20, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Stephanie Burt of Harvard
Don't Read Poetry.
A book by Stephanie Burt.
I used it to wipe.
Haiku # 72858, October 20, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by First soak in water for a bit to soften it up. of Hey, it was the author's suggestion!
I was just thinking
I'm there for you every time
you do your business
Haiku # 72857, October 20, 2021 2:32 pm ET
by Conversation with my dog of Now that's defecation!
It's superMA'AM!
Well Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!
Billy Batson's butt!

Inappropriate.
Jim Nabors banging Kal-El.
It might get pinched off.
Haiku # 72856, October 20, 2021 1:14 pm ET
by Be careful, Gomer Pyle! of They'll run you out of Mayberry!
Purple hair and spikes.
Yet another vain attempt.
Proving one's "wokeness".
Haiku # 72855, October 20, 2021 9:48 am ET
by I'm joining the white cracker commies. of At least I can be on the winning side. When the shit goes down.
Batman is laughing.
Kal-El is gobblin' some noots.
Deez noots in cream sauce.
Haiku # 72854, October 20, 2021 7:54 am ET
by Somehow I'm not surprised. of It's Trump's fault.
Superman won't fight
for the American way.
Now that's really gay!
Haiku # 72853, October 20, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Commies taking over!
Red bibb on the back.
Now I become Super Pooh.
But still I'm not gay.

Don't overthink it.
I've not got much brain to think.
I'd love some honey.
Haiku # 72852, October 20, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't happen
to have a pot of honey?
It's my kryptonite.
Haiku # 72851, October 20, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Winnie the Pooh bear.
Winnie the Pooh's ass.
Can't help but want to squeeze it.
Superman's now gay.
Haiku # 72850, October 20, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Squeeze it, grease it, and sleez it.
Don't steal, don't gamble...
Talking about the man called
Michael Campbell. (DUB)
Haiku # 72849, October 20, 2021 4:56 am ET
by Beyond WWIII
Rock bands should not preach.
They just need to do their art.
It doesn't age well.
Haiku # 72848, October 20, 2021 4:50 am ET
by Strum Strum of It Ain't Mozart
I love their record
With dub-master Mikey Dread
Called 'Black Market Clash'
Haiku # 72847, October 20, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Bank Robber of Armagideon Time
Used to like the Clash.
But now Joe's voice makes me cringe.
A few songs still good...
Haiku # 72846, October 20, 2021 4:40 am ET
by The preachy Leftism gets dull...
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
Клей-сварка Алмаз
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Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka клей-сварка 8kv
Haiku # 72845, October 20, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Rybickijqyw of Russia
Which one would you fuck?
2 day old, stale baguette bread
Everything bagel
Haiku # 72844, October 19, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never robbed a bank
bank error in my favor
100 dollars

Noticed it later
She gave my dog a biscuit
in the drive thru tube
Haiku # 72843, October 19, 2021 11:33 pm ET
by Noticer of $$$ (eventually)
It wasn't an axe
It was with a Gurkah knife
That ain't much better
Haiku # 72842, October 19, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never murdered anyone
but I worked for someone who
was axe murdered. Truth.
Haiku # 72841, October 19, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
Clash. Sandinista
One of my favorite albums
I bet you like it
Haiku # 72840, October 19, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Sk
12 hours ahead.
But 200 years behind.
You have to see it.
Haiku # 72839, October 19, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Soon I will get out.
What time is it there?
It's like talking with someone
who's from the future
Haiku # 72838, October 19, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tuesday
When you're all alone
solving those math equations.
Mathturbation?
Haiku # 72837, October 19, 2021 8:39 pm ET
by Noticer of How's your eyesight?
Fusion energy.
With enough beans it might work.
Intense compression.
Haiku # 72836, October 19, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by 2 H-1 ==> He of Flatus does have a bit of H2 gas in it.
I'm no scientist
but if I reverse the charge
your plan might backfire
Haiku # 72835, October 19, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Phone of in the bathroom
If you want fart calls,
I will accommodate you.
It doesn't cost much.
Haiku # 72834, October 19, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by $2.99 per minute. of 1-800-HOT-TOOT
Yes, I despise Alf
If I give you my number
will your fart call me?
Haiku # 72833, October 19, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Sk
Medicinal crack.
Prevents getting stressful jobs.
It's my brain, my choice!
Haiku # 72832, October 19, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by blahblahblahblahblahblah
Chihuahuas are weird.
Eyes look different directions.
Snort like little pigs.
Haiku # 72831, October 19, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Feed them to crocodiles!
Murdered anyone?
Have you ever robbed a bank?
Made a prank phone call?
Haiku # 72830, October 19, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by My friends and I used to call people and play a recording of our farts and ask them to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
Okay, I must ask:
How many cats do you have?
And do you hate Alf?
Haiku # 72829, October 19, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by I know you do.
Have you ever seen
conjoined twin dyslexia
South Park episode.
Haiku # 72828, October 19, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by It's a classic!
I'll be on the porch
I may try to get you high
by remote catnip
Haiku # 72827, October 19, 2021 1:50 pm ET
by Let me know if you feel it of Suggest some tunes
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