Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Lawrence Livermore?
I need some nuclear waste.
One metric ton's good.

Buy one, get one free?
You've got to be shitting me!
That's an awesome deal.

Sure I'll tell my friends.
I won't say where I got it.
And if you need kush...
Haiku # 72864, October 20, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by You dirty little bomb, you like that don'tcha?!
I'm wanting to die.
Taking others along too.
Taliban recruit.
Haiku # 72863, October 20, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by Nothing better to do.
Details of entrails.
Weather forcast in bird guts.
Cue "Witchy Woman".
Haiku # 72862, October 20, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by Be funny to see that on Wall Street.
I was noticing
If it's all in the details
I noticed it all
Haiku # 72861, October 20, 2021 7:46 pm ET
by Noticer of details
online ed meds http://viagwdp.com/ buying viagra without prescription
Haiku # 72860, October 20, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
How to read poems
First, make sure no one's looking
Next, get out the lube
Haiku # 72859, October 20, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Stephanie Burt of Harvard
Don't Read Poetry.
A book by Stephanie Burt.
I used it to wipe.
Haiku # 72858, October 20, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by First soak in water for a bit to soften it up. of Hey, it was the author's suggestion!
I was just thinking
I'm there for you every time
you do your business
Haiku # 72857, October 20, 2021 2:32 pm ET
by Conversation with my dog of Now that's defecation!
It's superMA'AM!
Well Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!
Billy Batson's butt!

Inappropriate.
Jim Nabors banging Kal-El.
It might get pinched off.
Haiku # 72856, October 20, 2021 1:14 pm ET
by Be careful, Gomer Pyle! of They'll run you out of Mayberry!
Purple hair and spikes.
Yet another vain attempt.
Proving one's "wokeness".
Haiku # 72855, October 20, 2021 9:48 am ET
by I'm joining the white cracker commies. of At least I can be on the winning side. When the shit goes down.
Batman is laughing.
Kal-El is gobblin' some noots.
Deez noots in cream sauce.
Haiku # 72854, October 20, 2021 7:54 am ET
by Somehow I'm not surprised. of It's Trump's fault.
Superman won't fight
for the American way.
Now that's really gay!
Haiku # 72853, October 20, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Commies taking over!
Red bibb on the back.
Now I become Super Pooh.
But still I'm not gay.

Don't overthink it.
I've not got much brain to think.
I'd love some honey.
Haiku # 72852, October 20, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't happen
to have a pot of honey?
It's my kryptonite.
Haiku # 72851, October 20, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Winnie the Pooh bear.
Winnie the Pooh's ass.
Can't help but want to squeeze it.
Superman's now gay.
Haiku # 72850, October 20, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Squeeze it, grease it, and sleez it.
Don't steal, don't gamble...
Talking about the man called
Michael Campbell. (DUB)
Haiku # 72849, October 20, 2021 4:56 am ET
by Beyond WWIII
Rock bands should not preach.
They just need to do their art.
It doesn't age well.
Haiku # 72848, October 20, 2021 4:50 am ET
by Strum Strum of It Ain't Mozart
I love their record
With dub-master Mikey Dread
Called 'Black Market Clash'
Haiku # 72847, October 20, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Bank Robber of Armagideon Time
Used to like the Clash.
But now Joe's voice makes me cringe.
A few songs still good...
Haiku # 72846, October 20, 2021 4:40 am ET
by The preachy Leftism gets dull...
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
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Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka клей-сварка 8kv
Haiku # 72845, October 20, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Rybickijqyw of Russia
Which one would you fuck?
2 day old, stale baguette bread
Everything bagel
Haiku # 72844, October 19, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never robbed a bank
bank error in my favor
100 dollars

Noticed it later
She gave my dog a biscuit
in the drive thru tube
Haiku # 72843, October 19, 2021 11:33 pm ET
by Noticer of $$$ (eventually)
It wasn't an axe
It was with a Gurkah knife
That ain't much better
Haiku # 72842, October 19, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never murdered anyone
but I worked for someone who
was axe murdered. Truth.
Haiku # 72841, October 19, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
Clash. Sandinista
One of my favorite albums
I bet you like it
Haiku # 72840, October 19, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Sk
12 hours ahead.
But 200 years behind.
You have to see it.
Haiku # 72839, October 19, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Soon I will get out.
What time is it there?
It's like talking with someone
who's from the future
Haiku # 72838, October 19, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tuesday
When you're all alone
solving those math equations.
Mathturbation?
Haiku # 72837, October 19, 2021 8:39 pm ET
by Noticer of How's your eyesight?
Fusion energy.
With enough beans it might work.
Intense compression.
Haiku # 72836, October 19, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by 2 H-1 ==> He of Flatus does have a bit of H2 gas in it.
I'm no scientist
but if I reverse the charge
your plan might backfire
Haiku # 72835, October 19, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Phone of in the bathroom
If you want fart calls,
I will accommodate you.
It doesn't cost much.
Haiku # 72834, October 19, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by $2.99 per minute. of 1-800-HOT-TOOT
Yes, I despise Alf
If I give you my number
will your fart call me?
Haiku # 72833, October 19, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Sk
Medicinal crack.
Prevents getting stressful jobs.
It's my brain, my choice!
Haiku # 72832, October 19, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by blahblahblahblahblahblah
Chihuahuas are weird.
Eyes look different directions.
Snort like little pigs.
Haiku # 72831, October 19, 2021 7:30 pm ET
by Feed them to crocodiles!
Murdered anyone?
Have you ever robbed a bank?
Made a prank phone call?
Haiku # 72830, October 19, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by My friends and I used to call people and play a recording of our farts and ask them to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
Okay, I must ask:
How many cats do you have?
And do you hate Alf?
Haiku # 72829, October 19, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by I know you do.
Have you ever seen
conjoined twin dyslexia
South Park episode.
Haiku # 72828, October 19, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by It's a classic!
I'll be on the porch
I may try to get you high
by remote catnip
Haiku # 72827, October 19, 2021 1:50 pm ET
by Let me know if you feel it of Suggest some tunes
I'm a defective
I just pick up things sometimes
Not a detective
Haiku # 72826, October 19, 2021 1:40 pm ET
by Starkitten
I'll eat cereal
with my headless conjoined twin.
Fucking holidays.
Haiku # 72825, October 19, 2021 1:17 pm ET
by Noticer of Suicidal ideation
I miss Thanksgiving.
Grandparents, uncles, cousins.
Good homecooked dinner.
Haiku # 72824, October 19, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Johnny, don't play with yourself under the table cloth!
You are so stupid.
All holidays are plastic.
Nothing more is "real".
Haiku # 72823, October 19, 2021 12:07 pm ET
by Plastic bought with plastic by plastic people. of Death to America! Jihad! Jihad!
You know me too well.
I don't really mind, of course.
Who do you work for?

Government agent?
Private investigator?
Pervert revenge squad?

Do your worst, my dear.
These days I just yearn for death.
Too long in this world.

Cyanide capsule for emergencies.

Can't wait to go back to Thailand. Good food and anything I would do seems half-way normal compared to the outright debauchery and decadence in that crazy place. And not locked in by ocean.
I would love to see the deep jungle. Wild tigers and giant snakes. I might make a good snack.
Haiku # 72822, October 19, 2021 12:06 pm ET
by Darth Go Ahead and Jump! of JUMP!
Dancing with Grandma.
Lot of work digging her up.
We shared some whiskey.

Can the dead trip balls?
I laced her drink with acid.
We will soon find out.
Haiku # 72821, October 19, 2021 11:56 am ET
by Funky familial fiestas.
Customer service?
Found a hair in my candies
Oompa Loompa pubes!
Haiku # 72820, October 19, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's a lot of work
Inserting a razor blade
in every apple
Haiku # 72819, October 19, 2021 11:43 am ET
by Busy
I pick Black Sabbath.
Their music is biblical.
The Lord likes that band.
Haiku # 72818, October 19, 2021 11:31 am ET
by War Pigs of Prophecy
Halloween is shit.
Typical U.S. blowout:
Plastic and sugar.
Haiku # 72817, October 19, 2021 11:29 am ET
by Hypoglycemia of Made in China
I tried Thorazine
It was back in the 80's...
It made my brain crawl.
Haiku # 72816, October 19, 2021 11:26 am ET
by It Was Not Prescribed of Not Fun
The one that we pick
is your Halloween costume?
I pick Van Halen

High on Wonka bars
wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt
It's Darthula Roth!

Doing the backflip
Scaring old people at mall
The obvious choice
Haiku # 72815, October 19, 2021 10:50 am ET
by Noticer of Rocktober Surprise
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