That Duck Figparther...
Always at it, parthing Figs.
His syllables: mixed.
by Mixolydian Mode of Asia Minor
I'm Darth Figpucker
and I'm a haiku addict.
It's been ten hours
since my last haiku.
Sweaty balls zoo trip hard drugs
shoplifted French cheese.
Or something like that.
Should we perhaps talk physics?
Quantum computing?
Warp drive possible?
Superconductor progress?
Cryogenic sleep?
Or magnetic powder infused dingleberries that can be launched at Mach-4 from a portable rail-gun toward politicians that we don't like. (Which would be all of them, yeah?) Not large enough to kill but just do permanaent brain damage so they can be put in nursing facilities and sexually abused daily live streamed on the Dark Web (which really isn't all that dark.) And the proceeds go to help hungry and homeless children around the world. Yes? I'm glad you agree!
by Wake me up when we get there. of Jonsey, you stupid cat! How are you?!
You are Darth. What's new?
You must have a haiku load
or a classic rant
I show up for that
Not an obsession
More like addiction
by Noticer of Temporary relief from depression
Everyone has left.
It's only me and Darth here.
Where is the haiku?
by Haiku Shortage of 2021
Yes, wear a toupee
Glue your skull rug on today
That's when the fun starts
This Sunday, at church
Sail it frisbee style at Mass
Enjoy the chaos
Think of confession
as a free handjob session
Wait for the police
In jail on Sunday
You'll reflect on this fun day
Skip work on Monday
by Hail Mary Pass of Camden, NJ
Some will celebrate.
It's Christopher Reeves' birthday.
But I thought he sucked.
Not all that super.
Cheesy nineteen eighties flicks.
Boring and lifeless.
by But he was awesome in South Park when eating fetuses for their stem cells. of Tell me you saw that one.
Won't you please join in
Celebrating 30 years
going commando
by Freedom of USA! USA!
Can't afford a laptop
I'm a poet like Basho
I'm low on cash-o
My rhymes are killer
But I'm low on the scrilla
Crying in my pillow
Cure this infection
with a fat cash injection
You'll get affection
by I'll give your bank account a free C-section of Funnel some of that towards my electronics collection
Do not bash Basho.
He did not eat rotten dogs.
Like Filippinos.
He had a brown purse.
His verse is worse in a hearse.
Makes you tearse and curse.
Basho's no ash-ho.
He good guy; buy you sake.
You drink to Basho!
by Balot salad sandwich on rye. of Like egg salad, but with beak and feathers.
Basho the poet.
If I can go back in time,
I'd show him my schlong.
by Gravitational anomolies ho!
I forgot to add
The answer works out to be
Good old sixty nine
by Eggzactly
To McEggBalot
Or to McEggBalot not
That is the question
by Noticer of Sheggspeare's Omelet
I've hired an agency
to recount all the haiku here.
The results are in
These experts include
a neutral mathematician
and cephalopods
There is no question
Everyone here's a winner
I love all of you
by Noticer of Everything
I've hidden a prize
somewhere in this bad haiku
Hint: the prize is smelly
by You're the winner of The Prize
Oh sunrise Nippon!
Oh school-uniformed young girls!
Defeated nation !
by Emperor Hirohito of Nagasaki
I don't see the dog man
I see the seagull
by Anonymous Poet
You should not read this.
You are not near old enough.
I'll tell your mother.
by Concerned citizen.
But how will you drown?
Swim nude until exhausted
wearing cement shoes?
A better idea
Have Ben and Jerry kill you.
New! Suicide Pints
Last Midnight Snack
Fresh Strawberry Slashed Wrist Swirl
Pretzel Noose Fudge Crunch
Serve it cold slab style
Your choice of tasty mix-ins
In the freezer aisle
by I. Scream of Funeral Parlour
Damn, I love onions
I think they make you horny
(Flashes bright green dink)
by Shrek of Out and About
To Egg McMuffin,
Or not to Egg McMuffin?
That is The Question.
by But the Answer is Forty-two... of so that doesn't really work out, does it?
I would like to drown
in a huge vat of ice cream.
Haagen Dazs coffee.
On a full stomach
of lox and cream cheese bagels.
And asparagus.
The asparagus
in a lemon butter sauce.
And fresh ground pepper.
The bagel sandwich
of course with tomatoes and
thinly sliced onions.
As for the ice cream,
I will just swim nude and free.
No wet suit, thank you.
You want left overs?
I guess that would be a mocha.
I'm so devious.
by Death Wish.
Oh my effing G!
That old man is VHS.
Previous Jap life!
by Tell me I'm wrong!
The old man is gone,
but he left his pic on here
so I'll toss one off.
by "You still here, sushi boy?! I guess you want some more!" of Squeal, piggy!
The old man is gone!
The wise poet of dog-verse
has taken his leave.
by Darth Finally Got to Him of Android
Dinos, dinks, and poo.
The gentlemen samurai
rolling in their graves.
by If they could, they would commit suicide a 2nd time. of After reading the things here.
Anywho... he's hot.
Squeal like a piggy, boy!
Jap deliverance.
by Redneck in Japan
The rotten dog guy.
The guy at top of this page!
Up at the top right.
If you don't see him,
maybe you're just on your phone.
He's got text balloon.
by These rotten verses even a dog will not eat. of You don't see that?!?! Rotten dog guy.
What a sight to see
Watching dinosaurs go poop
Did they bury it?
Someone fill me in
Did dinosaurs have big dinks?
Who would know this stuff?
by Anonymous Poet
When someone tells you
you give head like a porn star
What do you say back?
Probably, nothing.
It's not proper etiquette
talking while eating
by Free 24 Hour Advice Hotline of Under Old Willow
I once saw a dog
all alone, trotting along
with a paper bag
by My name is Rover of Alpoholics Anonymous
What the what the what?
Who is the rotten dog guy?
Hate him already
by Boner of Contention
That rotten dog guy,
I bet he'd give head for cash.
I mean, look at him.
by Just look!
Pumpkin spice blow jobs.
Milf, soccer mom, hippie head.
Fragrant relaxing.
by Time to unbox my nuclear powered Fleshlight. of Fuel rods ready. Control rods in place. Coolant flowing.... Let's do this!
Great behinds stink alike.
Yes, that's six syllables.
I don't care.
by It's always time for cheese! of Fromunda fromage homage
the Jack-Off-Lantern
from the makers of
Fleshlight
Pumpkin Spice Scented
And for the Ladies
Your Hollow won't be Sleepy
Headless Horsecock Dong
by Made in China (Like the China Virus) of Genuine Trump Silicone
Timer! Just saw that
watching vintage commercials
couple days ago
by Noticer of wagon wheels ! Ha ha
Humpin' a pumpkin
is only a sin if the
pumpkin is a dude.
by Leviticus something something. of And the Lord sayeth thou may humpeth the fruits of the field, but not the gay fruits, for that is detestible.
But why get them out?!
Let the candy corn stay there.
Sugar rush all day.
Or tie them on a string and pull them out at a rate of about 2 per second at the moment of climax, just like the working girls do in Paris. Yes, I am a salesman for Brach's candy. How did you know?
by Anonymous Poet
You got it backwards.
Tootsie Rolls taste like cat poop.
Yes, I have tried both.
Candy paired with poop.
While visiting Germany.
They're into that there.
by Never again!... I mean never again for Tootsie Rolls. The poop wasn't anywhere near as bad. of Boost your microbiome! LOL!
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
by Le Duc of Rennet
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
by Le Duc of Rennet
Autumn mysteries......
How do you get candy corn
out of your sphincter?
Why does cat feces
look and taste like Tootsie Rolls?
Sin to screw pumpkins?
by Pipe layer of Laying pumpkin spice pipe
Bruce Springsteen's birthday
Is that the Jersey Devil?
Or just him grunting?
by Greetings of Dingleberry Park
Broadcast Disruption
Tentacled Difficulties
Please Stand By x 8
by Broadcast of Cephalopodcast
Tentacled surprise
on South Carolina beach
Cephalopod News
by Cephalopod Update of Channel 8
Could constipate, though
But I'm sure the poetry
would find a way out
by Dank Johnplugger
I'd make it for you
Extra sharp Vermont cheddar
with Gruyere/ Jarlsberg
Put down the Balut
Eat macaroni and cheese
It sticks to your ribs
by Cheesus Christ of Almighty
But I do not think.
My sphincter does the writing.
Black hole collapsing.
by Here it clap and sing.
Sometimes you are me.
It is identity theft.
Are you entertained?
Please entertain us.
Do not enter my anus.
Exit Uranus.
by I still feel sad for Pluto.
I miss my surf board.
I also miss fancy cheese.
Surf boards of cheddar?!?
Fondu wave surfing
on a fantasy planet
or the holodeck.
by Drowning in Gruyere. of What a way to go.
