Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

It's like being chained
in a Philippine shitehouse
hole in wet season.

Help me Iamback
Kenobi, you're my only
hope... or maybe not.
Haiku # 71509, August 23, 2021 3:15 am ET
by Poopie pants pout.
Hokusai-san's wave
must have protected this site
from waves of trash-text.
Haiku # 71502, August 22, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Golden Age of Bad Haiku
Yes, you were pregnant
But not with haiku poems
Get with the program
Haiku # 71495, August 22, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Noticer
Jesus... we're all doomed.
And, you know, thank God for that.
We are so useless.
Haiku # 71493, August 22, 2021 3:51 pm ET
by Humanity is a parasite.
Why does your butt sag?
From carrying extra weight
of your endowment?
Haiku # 71490, August 22, 2021 2:23 pm ET
by Concerned
Text/paste bot must DIE!
We all know the reason why:
The LIE is A.I.
Haiku # 71489, August 22, 2021 2:17 pm ET
by Rhymed Haiku Stinks of Rancid Cheese
This brand new product
called Pucker Up Butter Cup
helps saggy butthole
Haiku # 71487, August 22, 2021 12:28 pm ET
by Doctor Proctor
So the bot moved to
another website because
I reported it.
Haiku # 71485, August 22, 2021 5:55 am ET
by I tried. of This telegra.ph website has no abuse reporting. Life.
If you write haiku,
you can't get into heaven.
God does not approve.
Haiku # 71483, August 22, 2021 4:11 am ET
by The Pope
I'm in Manila.
Just witnessed a salesman
raping crocodiles.
Haiku # 71482, August 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2000 Peso admission. of Life of a crosswalk.
I'm in Florida
Just saw an alligator
using a crosswalk
Haiku # 71478, August 21, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Life of a Salesman
Swimming in sewage
with third world country children
and bathing old folks.

Turds go floating by
amidst plastic bags, diapers,
and Styrofoam cups.

They laugh at covid.
Their immune system is tops.
Me, I'm not so sure.
Haiku # 71476, August 21, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Thank God for diving masks. of Soon all the oceans will be like this. Mark my turds.
When you need knee pads
to kneed the seed from your steed,
you know you're a pro.
Haiku # 71474, August 21, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Avoid those joint pains and aches.
*squirt
NOT squire.
Haiku # 71473, August 21, 2021 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Testicle pimples.
Twice the squire for your effort.
And more flavorful.
Haiku # 71472, August 21, 2021 9:11 pm ET
by Variety in your dining experience. of Complimentary knee pads.
Have you ever tried
those ab wheels on ab day?
Puts the hurt on you.

But so effective.
Try two hundred reps per day.
You'll get a six pack.

No, I don't mean beer.
Unless you are V H S.
You know what I mean.

He will do one rep
then piss off down to the pub
and down seven pints.

As seen on TV.
Also on Walmart.com.
Not yet on TurdPress.
Haiku # 71468, August 21, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Figgy Dimpleton
I know this won't help.
But if we don't try something...
then we're doomed to this.
Haiku # 71467, August 21, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by https://wordpress.com/abuse/ of Have fun reporting I did like 15 of them.
Fuck your useless prose.
Site is for haiku. HAIKU.
Eat my ass, you bot.
Haiku # 71466, August 21, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Man VS. Machine of course Man will Prevail
Autograph my ass
Sign your name across my fart
Tattoo my scat, too
Haiku # 71460, August 21, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Terrence Trenchmouth Darthby of Fecal Colorforms
Penis Elote
Fiesta Time in your pants
Comes off cob, creamed corn
Haiku # 71459, August 21, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by From the makers of Genital Corndog
Robots are perverts
Is there a demonic cause
or their programming?
Haiku # 71458, August 21, 2021 12:30 pm ET
by Can any of this be proven? Does the Tin Man have a sheet metal cock?
We need to sign in.
Then all spam will go away.
I've said this before.
Haiku # 71455, August 21, 2021 11:18 am ET
by But does anyone listen to me? Nope!
Is it Figpucker?
Haiku # 71451, August 21, 2021 7:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn fedrul agints.
They skairt of the HAIKU POWR !
(That's why they spammin'.)
Haiku # 71449, August 21, 2021 6:07 am ET
by Haiku Militia of Greater Ozarks
If they can't get rid
of this recent cut/paste spam,
then close this site down.
Haiku # 71448, August 21, 2021 6:01 am ET
by Haiku VS. Trashy Prose of Last Few Weeks
New Haiku Zoom Call
Meet all your favourite poets
You won't catch Co-vid
Haiku # 71444, August 21, 2021 3:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I miss Bugs Bunny.
I should dive into YouTube.
Lost in nostalgia.
Haiku # 71443, August 21, 2021 3:06 am ET
by Nasty-algae nostalgiae of or something
Why do we do this?
Year after year after year.
Until we are dead.
Haiku # 71442, August 21, 2021 3:04 am ET
by I say, that boys about as pointless as a bowling ball. of -- Foghorn Leghorn
Take someone to lunch
Share a piece of your Whopper
with hungry seagulls
Haiku # 71441, August 21, 2021 3:04 am ET
by Noticer of Beaks
Is this now wholesome?
Hole sum -- adding up the voids.
All about nothing.
Haiku # 71440, August 21, 2021 3:02 am ET
by maybe
Only strange people
pour molten aluminum
into termite mounds.
Haiku # 71439, August 21, 2021 3:00 am ET
by Termites with thermite.
Give someone flowers.
Someone you have never met.
Hope they're not married.
Haiku # 71438, August 21, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Why not try?
Hot spiced apple pie.
All beef hot dogs with dijon
on a fresh baked bun.
Haiku # 71437, August 21, 2021 2:57 am ET
by We can defeat the Taliban with food! of Make them fat and lazy.
The only way out
Writing clean, wholesome haikus
What is there to lose?
Haiku # 71436, August 21, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Voice of Old Willow
I don't have friends
I mingle with the poets
and the great thinkers
Haiku # 71435, August 21, 2021 2:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Can't be vhs
Or the Australian person
How do robots post?
Haiku # 71434, August 21, 2021 2:35 am ET
by I'm not the perv, either of Sk/noticer
The spam bots have won.
This website belongs to them.
It's better this way.
Haiku # 71433, August 21, 2021 2:33 am ET
by My feet have been chopped off. of De-feeted.
Blow job. Modern Greece.
At the open air market
Fresh batch of hummers.
Haiku # 71432, August 21, 2021 2:31 am ET
by Covid special. Half-off.
Do you ever show your
friends the stuff on here and laugh
at this sick, sick world?
Haiku # 71431, August 21, 2021 2:29 am ET
by My freinds have the brains to look at it and go, "That's stupid".
Hand job. Ancient Greece.
At the open air market
Fresh batch of hummus
Haiku # 71430, August 21, 2021 2:28 am ET
by Blow of Bazouki
Can we just get back
to screwing dead elephants
like normal perverts?
Haiku # 71428, August 21, 2021 2:26 am ET
by df
This is just creepy.
And that right there says something.
Because I said it.
Haiku # 71427, August 21, 2021 2:24 am ET
by Darth about to hurl at the taking kids to the park/pool intertwined with porn. of Who writes this garbage??!
Jason Momoa
dropped his end of the sofa
That's why I'm cockeyed
Haiku # 71425, August 21, 2021 12:40 am ET
by I. Grew up a victim of watching tv on a slant
The soda machine
My Orange Crush selection
Machine gave 2 dinks
Haiku # 71423, August 20, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Consumer of Junk Food
Learn to ride a bike
Father wasn't a handyman
My bike had no seat

New Uncle tinkered
No one had a seat like mine
Pink ten inch dildo
Haiku # 71422, August 20, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by Lubina Moore of Apt. WD-40
A dish of car keys
Another swingers' night
Your friends are perverts
Haiku # 71419, August 20, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by I Walkedhere of Odd one out
Wasn't my fault, dear
You left our monster dildo
in the dining room
Haiku # 71418, August 20, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by Front and Centerpiece of When unexpected company cums (they usually return the hospitality)
He got a hotel
Defecated on the bed
Turned around. Checked out.
Haiku # 71416, August 20, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Unwelcome Spaniel of Marriott
But those two inches
Transport you to a pure bliss
You'll believe in God
Haiku # 71415, August 20, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by B. Cuzz of He just fucked you
He has a huge cock.
Only two inches poke out
from his folds of fat.
Haiku # 71413, August 20, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Ex Sumo Wrestler now haiku poet.
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