Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72688 Haikus later...

Sinovac's not great.
Sixty percent effective.
Those fucking Chinese.
Haiku # 71016, July 22, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Doesnt work, like their plastic toys. of They made it but cant cure it.
Here's a great idea.
Hey, Janis, let's get married.
Think what we could do.
Haiku # 71014, July 22, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Poetry is an infectious social disease of Go spread it around!
Do math in the nude
But have sex with your clothes on.
Just to prove something.
Haiku # 71013, July 22, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Cherry flavored edible underwear. of Licorice lick her ass. Twizzle my stick.
George Floyd was a saint.
St. George had an overdose;
Died on Fentanyl.
Haiku # 71012, July 22, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by Lightning Bolt of Toledo Oh-So-Hio
Listen up, Premchand:
This site is strictly HAIKU.
Sell your meds elsewhere.
Haiku # 71011, July 22, 2021 3:25 pm ET
by Chicken Karahi of Hyderabad
Tia Titania:
Totalmente torcida
Y tonta también
Haiku # 71009, July 22, 2021 3:07 pm ET
by La letra T of Plaza Sesamo
Titania Compañía Editorial se reserva el derecho de aceptar o rechazar cualquier solicitud de acceso a La Comunidad, en base a los siguientes extremos, a saber: Compruebe que sus datos facilitados son contrarios a la verdad y/o inexactos.
Haiku # 71008, July 22, 2021 3:08 am ET
by medicación of Spain
You sure about that?
Bangkok's known for opium.
Way back in the day.
Haiku # 71007, July 21, 2021 8:40 pm ET
by Of course Rush will deny it. of Because opiates are soooo evil!
Passage to Bangkok
Is not about opium
Tis about reefer
Haiku # 71006, July 21, 2021 8:00 pm ET
by Ghost of Neil Peart
Nine plus five is two.
At least from my point of view.
Go look at a clock.
Haiku # 71005, July 21, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by No, not your fucking digital Timex! of Mod 12, I think they say.
We need some bad math.
Or maybe bad math dot com.
How 'bout it, Janis?
Haiku # 71004, July 21, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by But it needs to have an option to upload nudes. of Math without nudes is pointless.
Janis is alive!
She wiped out the Russian spam!
Hooray for Janis!

She needs stuff to do
when she's not chasing dragons
(smoking opium).

What got her hooked was
Passage to Bangkok by Rush.
Don't try to deny.
Haiku # 71003, July 21, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by Poppy Poker.
I was, but must wait.
Too many prying eyeballs.
What an ugly world.
Haiku # 70998, July 20, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by They want to destroy our freedom. of And we will all be their slaves.
I'll remind you, Darth
You were going to tell me
your email address
Haiku # 70997, July 20, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Math groupie of Hanging around the tour bus
I forgot what I
fucking hell goddamn it all
was going to say.
Haiku # 70996, July 20, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by OldzTimers disease. of Ease, pease, fleas, breeze, please, freeze, he's, bees, knees
Now I am craving
fig leaves with salad dressing.
Extra chunky bleu.
Haiku # 70994, July 20, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by I blew my bleu.
You'll see when we kiss
Our fig leaves will fall away
There's nothing to hide
Haiku # 70993, July 19, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by I mean,there IS something to hide of But, please don't on my account
I'm a pucker,
She's a pucker,
He's a pucker.
Wouldn't you like
to be a pucker too.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.

Or something like that.
A fig-flavored soda pop!
Sir, you're a genius!
Haiku # 70992, July 19, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Don't think I didn't notice.
There is bad haiku
And then there is Figpucker.
I can smell it now.
Haiku # 70991, July 19, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by Noticer of Darth of Under Old Tombstone
I love these spam links.
They typically go nowhere.
Still hoping for gold.

Nuclear launch codes.
New York Stock Exchange password.
Lady Gaga's nudes.

Okay, I must know.
What's with you and willow trees?
Why not a fig tree?

You can pluck the figs.
And enjoy them all day long.
Be a Figplucker.
Haiku # 70990, July 19, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Figplucker. of I think they are better fresh, but dried is okay too.
Under Old Willow
I'll direct you to the loo
Fill it with haiku
Haiku # 70988, July 19, 2021 6:20 pm ET
by Floaters of Haiku
My poop does not stink.
Still my butt is squeeky clean.
Not one speck of poop.
Haiku # 70987, July 19, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Bidet Salesman of Isle 42, Home Depot
No toilet paper
Says he uses a bidet
Sprays the poop away
Haiku # 70986, July 19, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by I. Thinx of Darth Stinx (only kidding)
So, whose turd is this?
I think I know. His toilet's
in the village, though.
Haiku # 70985, July 19, 2021 3:17 pm ET
by Noticer of fecals
Or say, could that be
Robert Frost taking a dump
this snowy evening?
Haiku # 70984, July 19, 2021 3:12 pm ET
by Jack Frost (no relation but we both were blessed with icicle shaped dinks) of Walking through the woods,carefully
Winter Snow Warning
Be Careful Building Snowmen
The Iceman Cometh
Haiku # 70983, July 19, 2021 11:57 am ET
by Hugepeen O'Kneel of Snow Bank (making a deposit)
they are all no good
but there is no worst haiku
only bad haiku
Haiku # 70982, July 19, 2021 10:27 am ET
by ash
After nearly a
quarter of a century
which haiku is worst?
Haiku # 70981, July 19, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Any thoughts?
Of course they have one.
They have whatever you want.
Because you build them.
Haiku # 70980, July 19, 2021 4:43 am ET
by It's good to be God, ain't it? of And He smelled that it was good.
When snow people fart
From where does the gas escape?
They have no anus.
Haiku # 70979, July 19, 2021 2:44 am ET
by Christmas of July
Prostitute flatus.
Also known as prosti-toots.
Some Johns pay extra.

I've never smelled worse
than farts of the evil ex.
A sample of hell.

Run with me on this.
If you make a snow woman
and she makes a fart...

That's a frosty-toot!
... okay, enough internet
for today I guess.
Haiku # 70978, July 18, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by blah blah
On the downhill slide
invest in ball bearing wheels.
It's been FUN, not ERAL.
Haiku # 70977, July 18, 2021 6:32 pm ET
by I mean real. of Damn typos.
When you find yourself
in love with a nonhuman
It's out of this world!
Haiku # 70976, July 18, 2021 12:29 pm ET
by Don't come a knockin' of If the spaceship is rockin'
By meditation
completely eliminate
your need to go poop
Haiku # 70975, July 18, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Hugh Grunt of Terlit
I'm so offensive
I lost my Farcebook account
for like the fifth time.
Haiku # 70974, July 18, 2021 4:57 am ET
by mark fuck her burg is a gaylien robot. of his wife's a Thai lady boy.
Imagine a bowl.
There's no tank or even seat.
Lastly no TP.

Bucket of water.
Carried from a long distance.
Bowls are luxury.

You don't belive me?
Go ask the old carabao
in his mud puddle.
Haiku # 70973, July 18, 2021 4:45 am ET
by The truth comes out in the end. of And a few round worms.
It's not subtraction.
It is ellimination.
Illuminating.
Haiku # 70972, July 18, 2021 4:39 am ET
by Black light and strobes. of Disco bathroom. Can't tell if the wipe is clean.
Under old willow
I found a dink shaped mushroom
You're a fun guy, Darth
Haiku # 70971, July 18, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Noticer of fungi
If I follow you
You say it comes out a hole
But that's subtraction
Haiku # 70970, July 18, 2021 2:39 am ET
by Confused about math of Need extra help
A fart's a fraction,
but it comes out of a whole.
That is rational.
Haiku # 70969, July 18, 2021 1:10 am ET
by Transcendentally odoripperous. of Bifurcating butt spray.
2+2=4
Then, a fart is a fraction
You do the math, Darth
Haiku # 70968, July 17, 2021 11:34 pm ET
by Methanematician of Gas Station
Cannibal Mukbang
With your host, Darth Figpucker!
Longpig, anyone?
Haiku # 70967, July 17, 2021 11:27 pm ET
by Always Hungry of Meat me by Old Willow
We need some new porn.
Like The Pope banging muppets.
Or poet snuff porn.
Haiku # 70966, July 17, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Leave C'Thulu's offspring alone.
Never leave the bed
Like the old folks in Wonka
Those aren't chocolate stains!
Haiku # 70965, July 17, 2021 12:45 pm ET
by Charlie's Mother of Steaming Laundry Cauldron
You won't find it here
Unless you're looking for
Cephalopod porn
Haiku # 70963, July 17, 2021 4:00 am ET
by Helping Tentacles of At your service
Everybody knows
My favourite mathematician
is a haiku poet
Haiku # 70962, July 17, 2021 2:57 am ET
by All of the right syllables
Haiku insurance
Low deductible (one fart)
Protect your poems
Haiku # 70961, July 16, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Sales Representative
when you do the maths
the answer is seventeen
and that's.... add haiku
Haiku # 70960, July 16, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by ash of more like adhd
lose those delta blues
rona takes your breath away
and then breaks your heart
Haiku # 70959, July 16, 2021 9:45 pm ET
by ash of fully vaccinated
If you ever used
Mutual of Omaha
then you are wild.
Haiku # 70957, July 16, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Monkeys buying insurance. of Perky Perkins.
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