You'll see when we kiss
Our fig leaves will fall away
There's nothing to hide
by I mean,there IS something to hide of But, please don't on my account
I'm a pucker,
She's a pucker,
He's a pucker.
Wouldn't you like
to be a pucker too.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Or something like that.
A fig-flavored soda pop!
Sir, you're a genius!
by Don't think I didn't notice.
There is bad haiku
And then there is Figpucker.
I can smell it now.
by Noticer of Darth of Under Old Tombstone
I love these spam links.
They typically go nowhere.
Still hoping for gold.
Nuclear launch codes.
New York Stock Exchange password.
Lady Gaga's nudes.
Okay, I must know.
What's with you and willow trees?
Why not a fig tree?
You can pluck the figs.
And enjoy them all day long.
Be a Figplucker.
by Darth Figplucker. of I think they are better fresh, but dried is okay too.
Under Old Willow
I'll direct you to the loo
Fill it with haiku
by Floaters of Haiku
My poop does not stink.
Still my butt is squeeky clean.
Not one speck of poop.
by Bidet Salesman of Isle 42, Home Depot
No toilet paper
Says he uses a bidet
Sprays the poop away
by I. Thinx of Darth Stinx (only kidding)
So, whose turd is this?
I think I know. His toilet's
in the village, though.
by Noticer of fecals
Or say, could that be
Robert Frost taking a dump
this snowy evening?
by Jack Frost (no relation but we both were blessed with icicle shaped dinks) of Walking through the woods,carefully
Winter Snow Warning
Be Careful Building Snowmen
The Iceman Cometh
by Hugepeen O'Kneel of Snow Bank (making a deposit)
they are all no good
but there is no worst haiku
only bad haiku
by ash
After nearly a
quarter of a century
which haiku is worst?
by Any thoughts?
Of course they have one.
They have whatever you want.
Because you build them.
by It's good to be God, ain't it? of And He smelled that it was good.
When snow people fart
From where does the gas escape?
They have no anus.
by Christmas of July
Prostitute flatus.
Also known as prosti-toots.
Some Johns pay extra.
I've never smelled worse
than farts of the evil ex.
A sample of hell.
Run with me on this.
If you make a snow woman
and she makes a fart...
That's a frosty-toot!
... okay, enough internet
for today I guess.
by blah blah
On the downhill slide
invest in ball bearing wheels.
It's been FUN, not ERAL.
by I mean real. of Damn typos.
When you find yourself
in love with a nonhuman
It's out of this world!
by Don't come a knockin' of If the spaceship is rockin'
By meditation
completely eliminate
your need to go poop
by Hugh Grunt of Terlit
I'm so offensive
I lost my Farcebook account
for like the fifth time.
by mark fuck her burg is a gaylien robot. of his wife's a Thai lady boy.
Imagine a bowl.
There's no tank or even seat.
Lastly no TP.
Bucket of water.
Carried from a long distance.
Bowls are luxury.
You don't belive me?
Go ask the old carabao
in his mud puddle.
by The truth comes out in the end. of And a few round worms.
It's not subtraction.
It is ellimination.
Illuminating.
by Black light and strobes. of Disco bathroom. Can't tell if the wipe is clean.
Under old willow
I found a dink shaped mushroom
You're a fun guy, Darth
by Noticer of fungi
If I follow you
You say it comes out a hole
But that's subtraction
by Confused about math of Need extra help
A fart's a fraction,
but it comes out of a whole.
That is rational.
by Transcendentally odoripperous. of Bifurcating butt spray.
2+2=4
Then, a fart is a fraction
You do the math, Darth
by Methanematician of Gas Station
Cannibal Mukbang
With your host, Darth Figpucker!
Longpig, anyone?
by Always Hungry of Meat me by Old Willow
We need some new porn.
Like The Pope banging muppets.
Or poet snuff porn.
by Leave C'Thulu's offspring alone.
Never leave the bed
Like the old folks in Wonka
Those aren't chocolate stains!
by Charlie's Mother of Steaming Laundry Cauldron
You won't find it here
Unless you're looking for
Cephalopod porn
by Helping Tentacles of At your service
Everybody knows
My favourite mathematician
is a haiku poet
by All of the right syllables
Haiku insurance
Low deductible (one fart)
Protect your poems
by Sales Representative
when you do the maths
the answer is seventeen
and that's.... add haiku
by ash of more like adhd
lose those delta blues
rona takes your breath away
and then breaks your heart
by ash of fully vaccinated
If you ever used
Mutual of Omaha
then you are wild.
by Monkeys buying insurance. of Perky Perkins.
If you are homeless
then you are freer than most
and don't pay mortgage.
by blah blah blah
Who's your favorite
mathematician who is
no longer living?
by For just math, it's Euler hands down, but for craziness of But for fun times I'd say Paul Erdős
Okay, so answer what the hell the Willy Wonka Super Skrunch chocolate bar has to do with being patriotic. It's really had me baffled and it's all I can think about... Well, that and Winona Ryder's underwear.
by Seriously! of Would I lie?
I'm right here, friend
It's like that Footprints poem
But it's shit, not sand
by Shitprints of Sand
You have not answered.
No one has said anything.
There's not even spam.
by I feel so alone in this world!
I was a hippie.
Not very patriotic.
Had quite the lice nest.
But how are Skrunch bars
exactly patriotic?
I'm dying to know.
by A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees. A nest for birds, there ain't no words. For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair.
You sillyass bot
Cutting and pasting that text
To bore us to tears
by Spift James of BARBADASS
Sounds delicious
Never get candy here
I'm always hungry
by Anonymous Poet
I recall those days:
Strong patriotic families...
Figpucker knows best!
by Darth of Crew-cut Cold Warrior
I might consider
stopping haiku if I could
get a Super Skrunch.
by Darth Figpucker
Voices in my head
have gone on strike demanding
I give up haiku.
by Fuck 'em. of I am the evil one, they try to make me stop.
I found the info.
It's "Super Skrunch" and "Oompas".
You remember, right?
by I'd trade my dad's Playboys for one of those!
A Golden Ticket
Looks like we both found one, Darth
See you on the tour
by Starkitten
Remember the old
Willy Wonka chocolates
from 40 years back.
by They were pretty damn good. of Can't find them now.
The poems found here
The handiwork of Satan
Keep up the good work!
by Long Haul Trucker of Jug Pissing
Voices in his head
dictating each syllable
He tossed out his meds
by Escaped Patient of Backless examining gown
