English majors rule
Why else would they offer those
classes in snob'ry?

english majors rule.
all the others? they do drool.
see ya back in school.

submit no haiku
before it's time - look for the
monkey that you shine.

elitist great minds
patterns of thought travel paths
equal, same, alike

Boo, you are very
wrong, E A Poe's raven used
to "quoth, Nevermore!"

pardon empty lines
i hit return much too soon
so sweet and so cold

robert smith sings song
of joy at end of the week:
Friday I'm In Love

radio! the knobs
have all fallen! the button
won't respond! alas!

cheaper than e-mail,
and takes less thought than a slap
back up side the head

when all else goes wrong
there can only be one way
to solve problems: beer.

boring each other?
boring here, loving it; quoth
raven, "nothing more!"

b-naked ladies
sing song of fulfilling joy
title: Alcohol

greenlight, i give you
the uh...well.. um...the greenlight
--turn on the radio

victimization

pretended victims
underfoot to brag you bang
fall guy's fantasy

monsters under bed
good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
they're in the closet

the fourth way, i must
tell you, that's the only song
whose lyrics i know.

green, red, white, yellow.
moutain dew. joyful liquid.
save me from fatigue.

I am glad YOUR lives
are worthless and I don't need
to know all you are.

i'm going to hit you
baby, quite a few more times.
NO britney spears please!

fat chick lures you in,
moves towards you with a smile
then the lights go out

fat chick lures you in,
moves towards you with a smile
then the lights go out

my loneliness is
killing me. i must confess,
i still belee-eeve

sell me crapola
tell mm more and more crapola
corporate dogrell

not the slightest of
mind to get to the toilet
"Call of the Colon"

red, white, blue, diet
pepsi can sits on my desk
shiny cold yummy

fat chick, short red dress
winking provocatively
i follow, zombie-like

time for poop baseball.
I try not to run but get
caught in a squeeze play

read -READ!- what you don't
have the nerve to throw out! WHAT
no one wants to read!!

time for poop baseball.
I try not to run but get
caught in a squeeze play

too many, too much
and all worse than bad STUPID
pathinspicration!

no heat, my fingers
freeze around the shape of the
mouse that's on my desk

oh bad bad haiku
keep me warm in my office
it's cold, has no heat

fat chick screams, jumps out
window plummeting 4 feet.
...we're on the ground floor....

when i hit refresh
and there is no new haiku
then i am lonely

my browser keeps run
ning minimized in systray
refresh, refresh now!

fat chick on weight scale
i ventriloquise to scale
"you are fat. get off."

it's not tuesday here
must be the y2k bug
making thegrue wrong

cream. sugar. coffee.
indeed these are my life's loves.
tuesday's good, i say!

what's a syllable?
it says to use five of them.
dont laugh. i can't read.

sweet cranberry grape
servings per container: 2
i drink both at once

thou art not a mouse.
thou art not a mouse! no way!
thou art not a mouse.

mmm damn fine coffee
cream and sugar to ease pain
how does Tuesday look?

no. i'm mickey mouse.
why aren't you listening?
I'm really mickey!

Cold bloody hacksaw
Fits my hand with loving care
Limbs fill the basket

greenlight! homebrew! g!
welcome to today's playground.
come sing and frolic!

soon your smoke will rise
above cups of damn fine coffee.
when are you most free?

thegrue and hola:
first inductees of the bad
haiku hall of fame

I feel the need for
a much deserved cigarette
my lungs will rot soon