Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 148 Days and 70424 Haikus later...

No, the other one
Torching one with Bigfoot now
Pacific Northwest
Haiku # 70407, April 8, 2021 12:37 am ET
by gatita of Litter pan
Washington? DC?!?!
Knew I smelled something in here!
Illegal. Always.
Haiku # 70406, April 7, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by it's no fun unless it's felony.
Hibiscus tea, please
I'm always in the catnip
Legal...Washington
Haiku # 70405, April 7, 2021 7:46 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of In the nip
I prefer coffee.
So is tea your cup of tea?
Or just tequila?
Haiku # 70404, April 7, 2021 7:24 pm ET
by What's your favorite legal stimuli?
It's hanging leftwise.
A bit swollen and blackened.
Road head on dirt road.
Haiku # 70403, April 7, 2021 7:20 pm ET
by Bad idea. of But getting better. Next time I'll pull over.
Take careful notes here.
You can use these things in court.
After you are dead.
Haiku # 70402, April 7, 2021 7:18 pm ET
by Electrocute my ass. of Feed me to the pigs.
Otis Firefly.
Here to do the Devil's Work.
Because like, why not?

People who should die:
Those who say "it's not my job".
Get off your fat ass!
Haiku # 70401, April 7, 2021 7:16 pm ET
by BifurcatingPoo
Not my cup of tea
But how’s it hanging old Darth?
Unload some poems
Haiku # 70400, April 7, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by Ms. Gatita Estrella of Under old willow
Hannibal Lecter
feeding that guy his own brain
is pure awesomeness.
Haiku # 70399, April 7, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by Gives me a stiffie just thinking about it. of How about you?
I like beef jerky.
Best if it's really spicy.
I bet bison is good.
Haiku # 70398, April 7, 2021 6:12 pm ET
by Some things I miss.
Consumed by hatred,
thoughts of torture fill my dreams.
Their screams are music.
Haiku # 70397, April 7, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by blow torches and grinding wheels.
Beat a man to death.
Not for race or religion.
But for his poems.
Haiku # 70396, April 7, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by nevermind the beatings, just straight to burning at the stake. of And then we'll have steak. Or long pork chops.
Haiku Telethon!
Time for a tympani, Ed's Ghoul
We can beat haiku!
Haiku # 70395, April 7, 2021 4:29 pm ET
by Special Guest of Vitalis
Buy The Nug Smasher
Save time crumbling up your nugs
You won't regret it
Haiku # 70394, April 7, 2021 4:24 pm ET
by This has been of a paid promotional advertisement
Lloyd's of London
Million dollar policy
Your dink is insured
Haiku # 70393, April 7, 2021 1:23 pm ET
by Thinking of everything of Got you covered
The Diagnosis
I'm afraid what we have here
is MicroPenis
Haiku # 70392, April 7, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Floppy Disk of MicroSoft
When the meat’s devoured
Cannibals ponder dessert
Then feast on your soul
Haiku # 70391, April 6, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Clean Plate Award Recipient of Clean Plate Award Ceremony
Human so tender
Meat falling off the bone
when you twist the arm
Haiku # 70390, April 6, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by I’m Full
Here is a question
Why can't people eat people
Could be delicious
Haiku # 70389, April 6, 2021 11:14 pm ET
by Hamburger helper
Listened to conch shell.
"... car's extended waranty..."
And then I smashed it.
Haiku # 70388, April 6, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Tom Hanks on an island. of Still can't get cast away far enough.
Stereophonic,
smelling like a pimp's bathrobe,
drops beets into soup.
Haiku # 70387, April 6, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Here, sign this contract.
Poetry gizzard
Sold to the highest bidder!
Cassowary Bird!
Haiku # 70386, April 6, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Auctioneer of Kudzu, Athens, GA
I know how you feel....
Like the world is against you.
Harvest your organs

Soon after you die
Sell them to some rich people
With bad genetics
Haiku # 70385, April 6, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by They can't harvest your pianos, so....
Poets are sexy
Ramming all the syllables
in such a tight space
Haiku # 70384, April 6, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by Putting the dick of in dictionary
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70383, April 6, 2021 5:44 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70382, April 6, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
Green Anaconda
Tell me, are you the biggest
snake in the whole world?
Haiku # 70381, April 6, 2021 4:57 am ET
by No mention of Dinks in this haiku
These burning questions
Does haiku contain demons?
Are these haiku real?
Haiku # 70380, April 5, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Please advise
I stopped noticing
the smell of my own rank farts
when you outranked me
Haiku # 70379, April 5, 2021 6:30 pm ET
by 2nd Place of Fart Coliseum
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Did you happen to notice
the heat of the meat?
Haiku # 70378, April 5, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Angle of Dangle
i stopped posting here
and stopped watching the words
i stopped noticing
Haiku # 70377, April 5, 2021 11:53 am ET
by moxie
That was on South Park.
Kenny put them up his ass.
Then, of course, he died.
Haiku # 70376, April 5, 2021 7:03 am ET
by Show some originality. of Less banality. Banal anal.
For some strange reason
He wanted to wear tampons
Put them up his ass
Haiku # 70375, April 5, 2021 6:56 am ET
by From the desk of of Your Psychiatrist
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Haiku # 70374, April 5, 2021 2:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be minding
your own god damn business and
get nailed to a cross
Haiku # 70373, April 5, 2021 1:44 am ET
by Guess Who? of Follow the sandal prints
I drink Easter beer
Make poops on living room floor
Restraining order
Haiku # 70371, April 4, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by My ex of Totally overreacting
We have Easter Deer
They make nice poops on highway
Then get hit by truck
Haiku # 70370, April 4, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by The kids think is delicious
The Easter Bunny
loved me too intimately.
Was that Uncle Dan?
Haiku # 70369, April 4, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by I got LOTS of eggs in my basket.
Hey Moxie, listen:
It's five-seven-five or else
You get consequence.
Haiku # 70368, April 4, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Moxie Intervention of MAINE
Hey Darth, it's Easter,
and the bunny loves you too.
See you in heaven.
Haiku # 70367, April 4, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by AKA Luzon of PILIPINAS
Lord Christ have mercy.
Oh have mercy upon me
For my bad haiku.
Haiku # 70366, April 4, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Easter Penitent of LINE of LINES
Ash, you need some faith.
It won't happen just like that.
Go ask Figpucker...
Haiku # 70365, April 4, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Eschatology of HAIKOO
The rapture happened.
Only Pee Wee Herman went.
We're all just doomed souls.
Haiku # 70364, April 4, 2021 10:54 am ET
by Chair misses him, so very sad.
bring on the rapture
there's been pestilence enough
so let's get airborne
Haiku # 70363, April 4, 2021 8:09 am ET
by ash
jesus wowed the crowd
and here we are still waiting
but no curtain call
Haiku # 70362, April 4, 2021 8:04 am ET
by ash
it's over too soon
my daylight saving is spent
like my wasted youth
Haiku # 70361, April 4, 2021 7:58 am ET
by ash
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Some call it Bechamel sauce
Some call it Elmer’s
Haiku # 70360, April 3, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Load Scientist of Sticky Situation
Cannibal Lecture
Rude to talk with your mouth full
Watch me masticate
Haiku # 70359, April 2, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Masticator of Porn Hub
You defile this day
With your filthy haiku verse.
You are doomed and damned.
Haiku # 70358, April 2, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Apart from the Intervention of GOD
Tom Bosleys ex-wife
Wants her some of that penis
But just not his, see?
Haiku # 70357, April 2, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Post-Nuptial Disagreement
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