Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Consumed by hatred,
thoughts of torture fill my dreams.
Their screams are music.
Haiku # 70397 April 7, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by blow torches and grinding wheels.
Beat a man to death.
Not for race or religion.
But for his poems.
Haiku # 70396 April 7, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by nevermind the beatings, just straight to burning at the stake. of And then we'll have steak. Or long pork chops.
Haiku Telethon!
Time for a tympani, Ed's Ghoul
We can beat haiku!
Haiku # 70395 April 7, 2021 4:29 pm ET
by Special Guest of Vitalis
Buy The Nug Smasher
Save time crumbling up your nugs
You won't regret it
Haiku # 70394 April 7, 2021 4:24 pm ET
by This has been of a paid promotional advertisement
Lloyd's of London
Million dollar policy
Your dink is insured
Haiku # 70393 April 7, 2021 1:23 pm ET
by Thinking of everything of Got you covered
The Diagnosis
I'm afraid what we have here
is MicroPenis
Haiku # 70392 April 7, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Floppy Disk of MicroSoft
When the meat’s devoured
Cannibals ponder dessert
Then feast on your soul
Haiku # 70391 April 6, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Clean Plate Award Recipient of Clean Plate Award Ceremony
Human so tender
Meat falling off the bone
when you twist the arm
Haiku # 70390 April 6, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by I’m Full
Here is a question
Why can't people eat people
Could be delicious
Haiku # 70389 April 6, 2021 11:14 pm ET
by Hamburger helper
Listened to conch shell.
"... car's extended waranty..."
And then I smashed it.
Haiku # 70388 April 6, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Tom Hanks on an island. of Still can't get cast away far enough.
Stereophonic,
smelling like a pimp's bathrobe,
drops beets into soup.
Haiku # 70387 April 6, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Here, sign this contract.
Poetry gizzard
Sold to the highest bidder!
Cassowary Bird!
Haiku # 70386 April 6, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Auctioneer of Kudzu, Athens, GA
I know how you feel....
Like the world is against you.
Harvest your organs

Soon after you die
Sell them to some rich people
With bad genetics
Haiku # 70385 April 6, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by They can't harvest your pianos, so....
Poets are sexy
Ramming all the syllables
in such a tight space
Haiku # 70384 April 6, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by Putting the dick of in dictionary
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70383 April 6, 2021 5:44 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70382 April 6, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
Green Anaconda
Tell me, are you the biggest
snake in the whole world?
Haiku # 70381 April 6, 2021 4:57 am ET
by No mention of Dinks in this haiku
These burning questions
Does haiku contain demons?
Are these haiku real?
Haiku # 70380 April 5, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Please advise
I stopped noticing
the smell of my own rank farts
when you outranked me
Haiku # 70379 April 5, 2021 6:30 pm ET
by 2nd Place of Fart Coliseum
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Did you happen to notice
the heat of the meat?
Haiku # 70378 April 5, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Angle of Dangle
i stopped posting here
and stopped watching the words
i stopped noticing
Haiku # 70377 April 5, 2021 11:53 am ET
by moxie
That was on South Park.
Kenny put them up his ass.
Then, of course, he died.
Haiku # 70376 April 5, 2021 7:03 am ET
by Show some originality. of Less banality. Banal anal.
For some strange reason
He wanted to wear tampons
Put them up his ass
Haiku # 70375 April 5, 2021 6:56 am ET
by From the desk of of Your Psychiatrist
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Haiku # 70374 April 5, 2021 2:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be minding
your own god damn business and
get nailed to a cross
Haiku # 70373 April 5, 2021 1:44 am ET
by Guess Who? of Follow the sandal prints
I drink Easter beer
Make poops on living room floor
Restraining order
Haiku # 70371 April 4, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by My ex of Totally overreacting
We have Easter Deer
They make nice poops on highway
Then get hit by truck
Haiku # 70370 April 4, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by The kids think is delicious
The Easter Bunny
loved me too intimately.
Was that Uncle Dan?
Haiku # 70369 April 4, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by I got LOTS of eggs in my basket.
Hey Moxie, listen:
It's five-seven-five or else
You get consequence.
Haiku # 70368 April 4, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Moxie Intervention of MAINE
Hey Darth, it's Easter,
and the bunny loves you too.
See you in heaven.
Haiku # 70367 April 4, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by AKA Luzon of PILIPINAS
Lord Christ have mercy.
Oh have mercy upon me
For my bad haiku.
Haiku # 70366 April 4, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Easter Penitent of LINE of LINES
Ash, you need some faith.
It won't happen just like that.
Go ask Figpucker...
Haiku # 70365 April 4, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Eschatology of HAIKOO
The rapture happened.
Only Pee Wee Herman went.
We're all just doomed souls.
Haiku # 70364 April 4, 2021 10:54 am ET
by Chair misses him, so very sad.
bring on the rapture
there's been pestilence enough
so let's get airborne
Haiku # 70363 April 4, 2021 8:09 am ET
by ash
jesus wowed the crowd
and here we are still waiting
but no curtain call
Haiku # 70362 April 4, 2021 8:04 am ET
by ash
it's over too soon
my daylight saving is spent
like my wasted youth
Haiku # 70361 April 4, 2021 7:58 am ET
by ash
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Some call it Bechamel sauce
Some call it Elmer’s
Haiku # 70360 April 3, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Load Scientist of Sticky Situation
Cannibal Lecture
Rude to talk with your mouth full
Watch me masticate
Haiku # 70359 April 2, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Masticator of Porn Hub
You defile this day
With your filthy haiku verse.
You are doomed and damned.
Haiku # 70358 April 2, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Apart from the Intervention of GOD
Tom Bosleys ex-wife
Wants her some of that penis
But just not his, see?
Haiku # 70357 April 2, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Post-Nuptial Disagreement
Cannibal rectum...
I mean--- Hannibal Lecter!
Something about that...
Haiku # 70356 April 2, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Silence of the Pork Roast
Christ goes down to hell.
He speaks to the rephaim.
Some of them listen.
Haiku # 70355 April 2, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by Truth of the Gospel
Christ is getting scourged.
The Romans crown Him with thorns
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 70354 April 2, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Conversion of The Jews
I am Tom Bosley.
I've contacted my lawyers.
You'll need a defense.
Haiku # 70353 April 2, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by Thomas B of MY OWN PENIS LAW FIRM LLC.
Dining room table
Mrs. C. (Nude...spread eagle
Our Easter Dinner
Haiku # 70352 April 2, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by Tom Bosley's dink of Thought it was dead but it is risen
And yet, here you are
Complaining like an old man
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70351 April 2, 2021 5:21 pm ET
by Marion Cuntingham
as far i know i
stopped posting here and let folks
no longer know of

this place well i mean
to hear about rectums and
cannibals? when shit

is real now? great old
resets, nothing underground
just evil open...
Haiku # 70350 April 2, 2021 2:04 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
Distended rectum.
Pin the anus on itself.
Water sleeve wigglies.

As seen on TV,
Quick Trip, Seven Eleven,
and of course Porn Hub.

Stinky, slippery,
like chitlins you can play with.
But please do not bite.
Haiku # 70349 April 2, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by Check out my bulge! of Both of them!
Pin the tail on the
anus? Or the cloacae?
Don't mind the ka ka
Haiku # 70348 March 31, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Unexpected Splat of Birthday Party (birdbath)
Faint morning birdsong
They want to peck our eyes out
It's in every song
Haiku # 70346 March 31, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Bird Avoider
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