Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 315 Days and 72150 Haikus later...

The Diagnosis
I'm afraid what we have here
is MicroPenis
Haiku # 70392, April 7, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Floppy Disk of MicroSoft
When the meat’s devoured
Cannibals ponder dessert
Then feast on your soul
Haiku # 70391, April 6, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Clean Plate Award Recipient of Clean Plate Award Ceremony
Human so tender
Meat falling off the bone
when you twist the arm
Haiku # 70390, April 6, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by I’m Full
Here is a question
Why can't people eat people
Could be delicious
Haiku # 70389, April 6, 2021 11:14 pm ET
by Hamburger helper
Listened to conch shell.
"... car's extended waranty..."
And then I smashed it.
Haiku # 70388, April 6, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Tom Hanks on an island. of Still can't get cast away far enough.
Stereophonic,
smelling like a pimp's bathrobe,
drops beets into soup.
Haiku # 70387, April 6, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Here, sign this contract.
Poetry gizzard
Sold to the highest bidder!
Cassowary Bird!
Haiku # 70386, April 6, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by Auctioneer of Kudzu, Athens, GA
I know how you feel....
Like the world is against you.
Harvest your organs

Soon after you die
Sell them to some rich people
With bad genetics
Haiku # 70385, April 6, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by They can't harvest your pianos, so....
Poets are sexy
Ramming all the syllables
in such a tight space
Haiku # 70384, April 6, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by Putting the dick of in dictionary
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70383, April 6, 2021 5:44 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
Haiku # 70382, April 6, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
Green Anaconda
Tell me, are you the biggest
snake in the whole world?
Haiku # 70381, April 6, 2021 4:57 am ET
by No mention of Dinks in this haiku
These burning questions
Does haiku contain demons?
Are these haiku real?
Haiku # 70380, April 5, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Please advise
I stopped noticing
the smell of my own rank farts
when you outranked me
Haiku # 70379, April 5, 2021 6:30 pm ET
by 2nd Place of Fart Coliseum
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Did you happen to notice
the heat of the meat?
Haiku # 70378, April 5, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Angle of Dangle
i stopped posting here
and stopped watching the words
i stopped noticing
Haiku # 70377, April 5, 2021 11:53 am ET
by moxie
That was on South Park.
Kenny put them up his ass.
Then, of course, he died.
Haiku # 70376, April 5, 2021 7:03 am ET
by Show some originality. of Less banality. Banal anal.
For some strange reason
He wanted to wear tampons
Put them up his ass
Haiku # 70375, April 5, 2021 6:56 am ET
by From the desk of of Your Psychiatrist
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth
Haiku # 70374, April 5, 2021 2:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be minding
your own god damn business and
get nailed to a cross
Haiku # 70373, April 5, 2021 1:44 am ET
by Guess Who? of Follow the sandal prints
I drink Easter beer
Make poops on living room floor
Restraining order
Haiku # 70371, April 4, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by My ex of Totally overreacting
We have Easter Deer
They make nice poops on highway
Then get hit by truck
Haiku # 70370, April 4, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by The kids think is delicious
The Easter Bunny
loved me too intimately.
Was that Uncle Dan?
Haiku # 70369, April 4, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by I got LOTS of eggs in my basket.
Hey Moxie, listen:
It's five-seven-five or else
You get consequence.
Haiku # 70368, April 4, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by Moxie Intervention of MAINE
Hey Darth, it's Easter,
and the bunny loves you too.
See you in heaven.
Haiku # 70367, April 4, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by AKA Luzon of PILIPINAS
Lord Christ have mercy.
Oh have mercy upon me
For my bad haiku.
Haiku # 70366, April 4, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Easter Penitent of LINE of LINES
Ash, you need some faith.
It won't happen just like that.
Go ask Figpucker...
Haiku # 70365, April 4, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Eschatology of HAIKOO
The rapture happened.
Only Pee Wee Herman went.
We're all just doomed souls.
Haiku # 70364, April 4, 2021 10:54 am ET
by Chair misses him, so very sad.
bring on the rapture
there's been pestilence enough
so let's get airborne
Haiku # 70363, April 4, 2021 8:09 am ET
by ash
jesus wowed the crowd
and here we are still waiting
but no curtain call
Haiku # 70362, April 4, 2021 8:04 am ET
by ash
it's over too soon
my daylight saving is spent
like my wasted youth
Haiku # 70361, April 4, 2021 7:58 am ET
by ash
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Some call it Bechamel sauce
Some call it Elmer’s
Haiku # 70360, April 3, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Load Scientist of Sticky Situation
Cannibal Lecture
Rude to talk with your mouth full
Watch me masticate
Haiku # 70359, April 2, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Masticator of Porn Hub
You defile this day
With your filthy haiku verse.
You are doomed and damned.
Haiku # 70358, April 2, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Apart from the Intervention of GOD
Tom Bosleys ex-wife
Wants her some of that penis
But just not his, see?
Haiku # 70357, April 2, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Post-Nuptial Disagreement
Cannibal rectum...
I mean--- Hannibal Lecter!
Something about that...
Haiku # 70356, April 2, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Silence of the Pork Roast
Christ goes down to hell.
He speaks to the rephaim.
Some of them listen.
Haiku # 70355, April 2, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by Truth of the Gospel
Christ is getting scourged.
The Romans crown Him with thorns
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 70354, April 2, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Conversion of The Jews
I am Tom Bosley.
I've contacted my lawyers.
You'll need a defense.
Haiku # 70353, April 2, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by Thomas B of MY OWN PENIS LAW FIRM LLC.
Dining room table
Mrs. C. (Nude...spread eagle
Our Easter Dinner
Haiku # 70352, April 2, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by Tom Bosley's dink of Thought it was dead but it is risen
And yet, here you are
Complaining like an old man
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70351, April 2, 2021 5:21 pm ET
by Marion Cuntingham
as far i know i
stopped posting here and let folks
no longer know of

this place well i mean
to hear about rectums and
cannibals? when shit

is real now? great old
resets, nothing underground
just evil open...
Haiku # 70350, April 2, 2021 2:04 pm ET
by That Guy Who used to Come here a lot
Distended rectum.
Pin the anus on itself.
Water sleeve wigglies.

As seen on TV,
Quick Trip, Seven Eleven,
and of course Porn Hub.

Stinky, slippery,
like chitlins you can play with.
But please do not bite.
Haiku # 70349, April 2, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by Check out my bulge! of Both of them!
Pin the tail on the
anus? Or the cloacae?
Don't mind the ka ka
Haiku # 70348, March 31, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Unexpected Splat of Birthday Party (birdbath)
Faint morning birdsong
They want to peck our eyes out
It's in every song
Haiku # 70346, March 31, 2021 10:51 am ET
by Bird Avoider
Bet you didn’t know
that midgets are stackable
It’s all on Porn Hub
Haiku # 70345, March 31, 2021 7:39 am ET
by Noticer of Details
U so damn BOring.
Yo haiku saw logz. Mm-hm.
Put me right 2 sleep.
Haiku # 70343, March 30, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Tyrone of Haiku STREETZ
Refrigerator
Not many peopke keep raw
Severed heads inside
Haiku # 70342, March 30, 2021 8:28 am ET
by Cool of running
Haikus are poems
That sometimes do not make sense
Refrigerator
Haiku # 70341, March 30, 2021 6:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The party’s over
BadHaiku crawls home alone
Puking in bushes
Haiku # 70340, March 30, 2021 5:56 am ET
by Ralph of Bushes
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