The high diving board
Every time I stand up there
My penis shrivels

If you have trouble
Maintaining an erection
Look into my eyes

Hi.

I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.

Butthole

Haiku stink finger
Pointing with accusations
Brown from your butthoke

Your mother's cuntfart
produced YOU (and your Haiku)
so give God glory.

Old pervert uncle
Fascination with hair nets
He jerked off in them

When you read my words
bright angels angels angels
illuminate you

Bid now or lose out
Bunch of big old fat demons
Say hi and they're yours

Some demons for sale
Just say hi to Son of God
And demons are free

Suck your own Haiku,
you redundant scribbling dolt.
You bore us to death.

Amplified moans
Masturbating in the fields
Jolly Green Giant

Solidarity
Not unlike a circle jerk
Without the jerking

I feel the Spirit . . .
Brothers, sisters, let us HONK !
Let us honk as one.

Chinese factory
Rest assured, nose to grindstone
Make your next dildo

In China right now.
Brain washing is coming back
The fifties again

The new type of slaves
Are being beaten down hard
With Maoist bull chit

Democrats watching
The red big brother antics
With longing eyes.

They quite love that stuff-
They hate free speech though and truth.
Never give them power!

The woman is mad.!
Not talking to me two days.
Thinks its punishment,,,

She has a nice shape
Bat chit crazy derrière!
Lofans old heart hurts...

That Lao girl, likes beer!
Lofan can't keep up with her...
Falls asleep in chair.

Taps plays at ten- sharp
Then mange coyotes howl
As Lofan- does kung fu

Great food and service
If you like a big fat cock
Rammed right down your throat

Natural casing
Shifty eyed, hiking up pants
Happy Father

Let's be frank about Frank's frank.

Is it wrong to bring up the topic of penises when your teenage daughter and her friends are eating hotdogs?

Oscillating Fan
Front row at the tennis match
Tres cool as always

Lo Fan on mountain
A meditation retreat
Now he is Hi Fan

Lo Fan Fan on low
Blowing Barry Manilow
Cunt smile without you

Where did Lo Fan go?
He was a voice of reason
And wisdom of age...

Roy Clark's hair transplant
Held together with semen
From Buck Owen's cock

You entered the room
Scuse my stiff,formal greeting
Penis Tuxedo

br549
junior samples auto sales
I love my hee haw

I searched the world over
and I thought I found true love
you met another and phssst

it tastes like chicken
unidentifiable
refrigerator

where or where are you
tonight, why did you leave me
here all alone, I

warm enchiladas
a salted margarita
cinco de mayo

I tried to register as a sex offender, but they said to be a registered sex offender you first have to commit and be convicted of a sex offense... So you're telling me that I can commit sex offenses before being registered? That's like saying you can drive before you get your license. What's the point?!

So many shit ticks
here in the Lard's pig garden...
but Cunt's stuck on Darth.

So many topics
here in the Lord's big garden...
but Darth's stuck on shit.

Gary Gardengnome
Has just been added to the
sex offenders list

Syllable Lectern
Cannibal haiku poet
His farts smell like you

Pie slant slop piling
Thought way poo popsicle meat
Sith Frodo detached

Meghan Markle's cunt
High in carbs,low in fiber
Not very healthy

I can t stop smiling
Got a new bicycle seat
with dildo attached

I can

Blue zit fuzz whore ass
Azure blow, post love thigh twerk
Fizz unedited

Knew it was your ass
As you know, most of my work
Is uncredited

I just smell like poop.
That's my distended rectum.
It's hard to keep clean.

When I poo it's like
alien queen laying eggs.
I love Aliens.

I can hear Ripley.
Get away from her, YOU BITCH!
My Hollywood role.

The Alien's cunt.
That was really my asshole.
And you never knew.

Lets bomb a dog show.
They used to be wolves, you know.
Free the canine beast!

But that isn't me.
I'm afraid that's my poems.
Smell how they fester!

I can smell you, Darth.
Your miasma drifts my way
Like something that died.