Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 360 Days and 77352 Haiku later...

Gary Gardengnome
Has just been added to the
sex offenders list
Haiku # 64818, May 14, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Dink Puller of High AF
Syllable Lectern
Cannibal haiku poet
His farts smell like you
Haiku # 64817, May 14, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by Erudite Cassowary of The Plains of Guano
Pie slant slop piling
Thought way poo popsicle meat
Sith Frodo detached
Haiku # 64816, May 14, 2019 6:07 pm ET
by Seahorse boners.
Meghan Markle's cunt
High in carbs,low in fiber
Not very healthy
Haiku # 64815, May 14, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by .....until murder made him famous
I can t stop smiling
Got a new bicycle seat
with dildo attached
Haiku # 64814, May 14, 2019 3:14 pm ET
by As it smiles below of So it smiles above
I can
Haiku # 64813, May 14, 2019 3:14 pm ET
by As it smiles below of So it smiles above
Blue zit fuzz whore ass
Azure blow, post love thigh twerk
Fizz unedited
Haiku # 64812, May 14, 2019 1:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Knew it was your ass
As you know, most of my work
Is uncredited
Haiku # 64811, May 14, 2019 1:40 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's mole of Cheek
I just smell like poop.
That's my distended rectum.
It's hard to keep clean.

When I poo it's like
alien queen laying eggs.
I love Aliens.

I can hear Ripley.
Get away from her, YOU BITCH!
My Hollywood role.

The Alien's cunt.
That was really my asshole.
And you never knew.
Haiku # 64810, May 14, 2019 11:10 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
Lets bomb a dog show.
They used to be wolves, you know.
Free the canine beast!
Haiku # 64809, May 14, 2019 11:01 am ET
by God I hate humans.
But that isn't me.
I'm afraid that's my poems.
Smell how they fester!
Haiku # 64808, May 14, 2019 10:57 am ET
by The Evil Lord Figpucker
I can smell you, Darth.
Your miasma drifts my way
Like something that died.
Haiku # 64807, May 14, 2019 9:39 am ET
by Putrefaction of Stupification
Through the window I
See his cock invade your mouth
Bitmoji heartclutch
Haiku # 64806, May 14, 2019 9:11 am ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Underwear stained red.
Pork blood cubes diarrhea.
Or my period.
Haiku # 64805, May 14, 2019 8:36 am ET
by Unintentionally trangenderified.
I just shat my pants.
Wait... sorry, those were your pants.
Now you put them on.
Haiku # 64804, May 14, 2019 8:32 am ET
by Special needs fashion show.
Pork blood jello cubes.
Well, that is what they look like.
It's what's for dessert.
Haiku # 64803, May 14, 2019 7:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chicken intestines
skewered on a sharp wood stick
grilled and doused in sauce.
Haiku # 64802, May 14, 2019 7:23 am ET
by only 5 pesos! of So delish!
Better an F-bomb
Than NH4NO3
mixed with diesel fuel.
Haiku # 64801, May 14, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. of It doesn't hurt anyone.
Unoriginal.
Silly little copy cat.
Go find your own filth!

This is my cesspool.
Like a spring hottub party.
The turds are my friends.

Better friends than you.
And they do not stink as bad.
And keep their mouths shut.
Haiku # 64800, May 14, 2019 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Silly little man
Sad scrawler of endless filth
Zip your lip now, child.
Haiku # 64799, May 14, 2019 4:20 am ET
by Soul Mama of the Skies
Those damn nasty gnomes.
I caught them playing frisbee
with my peeled cock scabs.
Haiku # 64798, May 14, 2019 3:40 am ET
by Aerodynamic, indeed!
Holy Christ fuck shit!
What horrible fuckery!
You should be ashamed!
Haiku # 64797, May 14, 2019 3:37 am ET
by When you yawn I shove in my cock. of Pretend the salty scabs are beef jerky.
This is what happened
To Julian Assange's
Cat: waterboarded

Which is very cruel
Because cats obviously
Hate when they get wet
Haiku # 64796, May 14, 2019 1:00 am ET
by Allium cepa
McCain's brain tumor
Went on CNN and they
Called it "War Hero"

Stelter frigging cried
Van had a panic attack
Wolf jumped up and down
Haiku # 64795, May 14, 2019 12:55 am ET
by Allium cepa
Poor Pompeii bastard
Eternal game of statues
Choking his chicken
Haiku # 64794, May 13, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by Statues of No Limitations of Ask about our Statue of Liberty with strap on dildo attachment
I fucked the Baker
And the Candlestick Maker
Next, Sam the Butcher
Haiku # 64793, May 13, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Alice (housekeeper) of Still have wax up in there
this is hella gay
I am supposed to be doing
a history pro (ject)
Haiku # 64792, May 13, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by procrastinator of the south
I really hate hai-
kus they make me wanna die
this took 15 mins
Haiku # 64791, May 13, 2019 11:10 pm ET
by poop sock of pee pee island
Googly eyed wang
Tattoo a shark face on it
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-doo
Haiku # 64790, May 13, 2019 10:06 pm ET
by Baby shark of Doodoodoodoodoo
Flour fucking yeast infection beer drunk dili-rius tremors aftershock schnapps douche emergency room scandal. Turtle cunt muddy twat. Give us this day our daily yeast infection. For giving us flatus, forgive those who flatus against us. God hates you and wants you to die, and that's why God made gasoline.
Haiku # 64789, May 13, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by 200 kg funt. of Won't fit my cart.
He was not guilty.
The attack was ordered by
President George Bush
Haiku # 64788, May 13, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by 12076-064
I'm ordering in
I'm thinking a big ten inch
(Chinese people laugh)
Haiku # 64787, May 13, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by Person who buys plastic and silicone items of Discrete packaging ( can't hide the bulge)
The New World Order
A Project for a New Islamic Century
Haiku # 64786, May 13, 2019 6:01 pm ET
by Troll of DeepState
Rolling in the flour
So you can find the wet spot
Darn yeast infection!
Haiku # 64785, May 13, 2019 4:28 pm ET
by mojo risin of levitating table used at last supper
The baker fucked me
With hard, day old baguette bread
The best stuffing ever
Haiku # 64784, May 13, 2019 2:22 pm ET
by Carbo Derek of 10
What do you call it?
When fresh bread gets a hard on?
A raging crouton!!
Haiku # 64783, May 13, 2019 1:48 pm ET
by Mrs. cubbison's whoremaster of under the table
Depravity... yawn.
Eating fetuses. How dull.
Is that all you've got?
Haiku # 64781, May 13, 2019 9:37 am ET
by Silly Boy of Pretending to Be Bad
God is like Beavis.
Just look at the universe.
That is proof enough.
Haiku # 64780, May 13, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Beavis also says schlong.
Cassowary cunt.
Not quite as tight as chickens',
But a fun challenge.
Haiku # 64779, May 13, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Mary, Mary quite contrary to the ordinary, be wary of the scary cassowary.
God laughed the loudest
Then he pulled out his big schlong
And caused an earthquake
Haiku # 64778, May 13, 2019 5:56 am ET
by smite Runner
Penis weigh station
Embarrassing to be puny
Everyone laughing
Haiku # 64777, May 13, 2019 5:54 am ET
by tiny pecker of hiding
Two bitcoin blowjob
A postcard from that mean bird
Cassowary Cum
Haiku # 64776, May 13, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Lavatory Laureate of bird watching
Semen cannonball
Where's my morning after pill
You Neaderthal?
Haiku # 64775, May 13, 2019 2:19 am ET
by I can see clearly now of The spooge is gone
Aboursiones? Depends how they're cooked!

We went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say...
Feed us. Feed us. Feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare!
--Bo Burnham

This actor's guild/union, our payment for performing in this play -- coffee, beer, and a few orgasms. Fleeting currency universal BitCoin and the more depraved and dilapidated it all becomes, the more value it has and there is no reason for it all.

Do not cum in me.
I'll give birth to Donald Trump.
Dayglo afterbirth.

There is NO hope for the future and, while abortion is immoral and wrong and we should NOT deprive those little cocksuckers of their chance at life/suffering and misery, abortion is preemptive euthanasia. The youth in Asia support euthanasia. Flush them all. Deprive the Holy Audience of their Comical Play. It's the only true rebellion. Take up your full auto weapons and have a shopping mall hunting party. Or if you'd rather...

Ingest mutagens.
Give God His entertainment.
Two-headed lead role.

Dried pussy mucus.
Also known as cunt boogers.
Roll it 'tween your toes.
Haiku # 64774, May 13, 2019 12:26 am ET
by I selected street lights and buses. of How exciting!
eternity
fetish
entropy
dilemma
mystical
harvest
Haiku # 64773, May 12, 2019 11:47 pm ET
by cyborg
haunting
habit
mutation
hesitation
siren
baptism
Haiku # 64772, May 12, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by cyborg
I do not like the Lexus bow tie grill,
It looks like it should be on a locomotive,
That travels through cattle country.
Haiku # 64771, May 12, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Country Club Luncheon
Looks like Prime Rib but it's cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 64770, May 12, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Caddy of Shack
Every damn morning
The maniacal laughter
Bacon Sizzling
Haiku # 64769, May 12, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Rise and Shine
No one was looking
So Dad unzipped his blue jeans
And mounted the sow
Haiku # 64768, May 12, 2019 9:34 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Barnyard
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