Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 189 Days and 77102 Haiku later...

Sisters who murder.
Deceased husbands in garage
Just in time for wine
Haiku # 63389, April 3, 2019 6:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After fucking her,
he gave her oral pleasure.
She queefed in his mouth.

He swallowed and burped.
Pungent musty aroma.
Vinegar and booze.
Haiku # 63388, April 3, 2019 6:48 pm ET
by
There's no theme going.
If so, I don't want to know.
Blissfully stupid.
Haiku # 63387, April 3, 2019 6:44 pm ET
by
Sixth grade graduate.
Any excuse to get drunk.
And sing new pop songs.
Haiku # 63386, April 3, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by
She sat on a pole.
It went up her vagina.
And came out her mouth.

She died on the spot.
Surrounded by old perverts.
Shooting photographs.
Haiku # 63385, April 3, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by
Ghost pepper salsa.
Going in or coming out.
Either hurts so good.
Haiku # 63384, April 3, 2019 6:33 pm ET
by
The bread has rat poop.
Just pretend it's raisins.
Cinnamon, honey.
Haiku # 63383, April 3, 2019 6:31 pm ET
by
I got your message.
Sorry, I don't swing that way.
You lack tentacles.
Haiku # 63382, April 3, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by
You should try wiping
with a black sea cucumber.
Brings back memories.
Haiku # 63381, April 3, 2019 6:29 pm ET
by
It has come to this
Wiped my ass on the ship s mast
Sent Morse Code by farts
Haiku # 63380, April 3, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Lost at Sea
What's the number of
your testicularity.
Count if you're not sure.
Haiku # 63379, April 3, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by
It has come to this
Wiped my ass on the ship
Haiku # 63378, April 3, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by Lost at Sea
Sentient veggies.
Listen to them scream in pain.
Makes burgers more fun.
Haiku # 63377, April 3, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by
Adrift on the sea
What looked like a snake or eel
Feces overboard!
Haiku # 63376, April 3, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
New GMO corn.
Aware of the fact it will
come out in your poop.
Haiku # 63375, April 3, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by
May you find a large
bobbit worm in your swim trunks.
Emasculated.
Haiku # 63374, April 3, 2019 6:17 pm ET
by
Golfing is so fun
Especially ball washing
In front of others
Haiku # 63373, April 3, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Are you alright? of Don
Let's work together
Spread
happiness with poems
Ok spread your legs
Haiku # 63372, April 3, 2019 5:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Unburden your load
Un cream the old cannoli
Depork the sausage
Haiku # 63371, April 3, 2019 5:25 pm ET
by Robot
When God boned Mary
(Deep Voice) "Was it good for you?"
Coming from the clouds
Haiku # 63370, April 3, 2019 5:23 pm ET
by Literally
The medical term
For pussy is vagina
That makes me chuckle
Haiku # 63369, April 3, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by Half of 100 is 50
Exalted heaven
Angels, God's Holy Spirit
And down below, Darth
Haiku # 63368, April 3, 2019 4:37 pm ET
by The Lord Laughs in Derision
Hard times for poets
All the best words are used up
But we soldier on
Haiku # 63367, April 3, 2019 3:43 pm ET
by Poet of Seriously
Jizzum jiggledJiggled
Wee piggies wiggle wiggled
I shit in your face
Haiku # 63366, April 3, 2019 3:40 pm ET
by Who am i
Sorry Figpucker
You became boring again.
That dull naughty talk...
Haiku # 63365, April 3, 2019 3:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Got neck vagina?
Try our discrete horse collar
In orange, of course
Haiku # 63364, April 3, 2019 2:54 pm ET
by Trachea Tampon
Psychiatric Help
You will not find any here
Consult the phone book
Haiku # 63363, April 3, 2019 1:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Blowjobs are boring
Repetitive and mundane
Yet I enjoy them
Haiku # 63362, April 3, 2019 12:30 pm ET
by Out of My fucking mind
jesus sucked my dick
Then god gave me a rimjob
Because,hey,why not?
Haiku # 63361, April 3, 2019 10:01 am ET
by Straight out of Hell
Time to take your meds
We can't have you acting up
In the library
Haiku # 63360, April 3, 2019 12:50 am ET
by Starkitten of Purrivate Purroperty
I'm at the prison
All douched and ready to go
Conjugal visit
Haiku # 63359, April 3, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Beautiful of Prison
I once referred to
Cum as seminal fluid
And began to cry
Haiku # 63358, April 3, 2019 12:41 am ET
by The tip of Your cock
I beat up jesus
Because he stole my girlfriend
And then fucked my wife
Haiku # 63357, April 3, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Emerging out of Your shithole
Indeed it was, sir
He s quite fond of getting smeared
With
Haiku # 63356, April 2, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by Pardon me of Got Grey Poupon?
Indeed it was, sir
He
Haiku # 63355, April 2, 2019 10:15 pm ET
by Pardon me of Got Grey Poupon?
Was it a dachshund?
Please tell me it's a dachshund.
Fucking hate those things.

Unless they're in soup.
Add to the creamy goodness.
And yapping no more.
Haiku # 63354, April 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by df
Meticulous wank
Father cleaned every smidgen
Off the neighbor dog
Haiku # 63353, April 2, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Good Neighborhood
I oft jizz my pants
when K-pop girls bend over.
Thank God for YouTube.
Haiku # 63352, April 2, 2019 8:51 pm ET
by df
Fucking statistics.
Math with vague definitions.
Is it even math?

I hate statistics.
Statistics teachers are shit.
Pure evil douche bags.
Haiku # 63351, April 2, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by df of A little consistency would be nice!
Someone snorted meth.
Writing bad haiku all day.
I think I like it!
Haiku # 63350, April 2, 2019 8:46 pm ET
by df of Props to the Lox Ness Monster
Talking bout a nerd
Such a ridiculous nerd
Nerd right to the core
Haiku # 63349, April 2, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Nerd watch
Now Available
A Brief History of Dung
I forgot to flush
Haiku # 63348, April 2, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Washroom goer of And I do mean Go
Baked to perfection
Modern Japanese cheesecake
Kimono tent pole
Haiku # 63347, April 2, 2019 5:29 pm ET
by Hacky saki of Hackensack NJ
Who reads poetry?
Blonde air head receptionists
Bird cage residents
Haiku # 63346, April 2, 2019 3:40 pm ET
by Dingbat
Who reads poetry?
Substitute teachers on break
Outhouse docents
Haiku # 63345, April 2, 2019 2:37 pm ET
by Large Curd of Cottage made of Cheese
In my father s house
Insipid foolishness
Voodo and ill will
Haiku # 63344, April 2, 2019 2:27 pm ET
by Street kid of Street
In my father
Haiku # 63343, April 2, 2019 2:26 pm ET
by Street kid of Street
Hookers play rugby
Whores suck your dick for money
Hookers are NOT whores
Haiku # 63342, April 2, 2019 2:13 pm ET
by Your father's mistress of Your mother's house
I came too early
How long have we been dating?
You should expect that
Haiku # 63341, April 2, 2019 12:10 pm ET
by Premature ejaculator of Your pussy
Who reads poetry?
Bad poets, wannabe bards,
dissident misfits.
Haiku # 63340, April 2, 2019 10:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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