Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Time to take your meds
We can't have you acting up
In the library
Haiku # 63360, April 3, 2019 12:50 am ET
by Starkitten of Purrivate Purroperty
I'm at the prison
All douched and ready to go
Conjugal visit
Haiku # 63359, April 3, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Beautiful of Prison
I once referred to
Cum as seminal fluid
And began to cry
Haiku # 63358, April 3, 2019 12:41 am ET
by The tip of Your cock
I beat up jesus
Because he stole my girlfriend
And then fucked my wife
Haiku # 63357, April 3, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Emerging out of Your shithole
Indeed it was, sir
He s quite fond of getting smeared
With
Haiku # 63356, April 2, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by Pardon me of Got Grey Poupon?
Indeed it was, sir
He
Haiku # 63355, April 2, 2019 10:15 pm ET
by Pardon me of Got Grey Poupon?
Was it a dachshund?
Please tell me it's a dachshund.
Fucking hate those things.

Unless they're in soup.
Add to the creamy goodness.
And yapping no more.
Haiku # 63354, April 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by df
Meticulous wank
Father cleaned every smidgen
Off the neighbor dog
Haiku # 63353, April 2, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Good Neighborhood
I oft jizz my pants
when K-pop girls bend over.
Thank God for YouTube.
Haiku # 63352, April 2, 2019 8:51 pm ET
by df
Fucking statistics.
Math with vague definitions.
Is it even math?

I hate statistics.
Statistics teachers are shit.
Pure evil douche bags.
Haiku # 63351, April 2, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by df of A little consistency would be nice!
Someone snorted meth.
Writing bad haiku all day.
I think I like it!
Haiku # 63350, April 2, 2019 8:46 pm ET
by df of Props to the Lox Ness Monster
Talking bout a nerd
Such a ridiculous nerd
Nerd right to the core
Haiku # 63349, April 2, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Nerd watch
Now Available
A Brief History of Dung
I forgot to flush
Haiku # 63348, April 2, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Washroom goer of And I do mean Go
Baked to perfection
Modern Japanese cheesecake
Kimono tent pole
Haiku # 63347, April 2, 2019 5:29 pm ET
by Hacky saki of Hackensack NJ
Who reads poetry?
Blonde air head receptionists
Bird cage residents
Haiku # 63346, April 2, 2019 3:40 pm ET
by Dingbat
Who reads poetry?
Substitute teachers on break
Outhouse docents
Haiku # 63345, April 2, 2019 2:37 pm ET
by Large Curd of Cottage made of Cheese
In my father s house
Insipid foolishness
Voodo and ill will
Haiku # 63344, April 2, 2019 2:27 pm ET
by Street kid of Street
In my father
Haiku # 63343, April 2, 2019 2:26 pm ET
by Street kid of Street
Hookers play rugby
Whores suck your dick for money
Hookers are NOT whores
Haiku # 63342, April 2, 2019 2:13 pm ET
by Your father's mistress of Your mother's house
I came too early
How long have we been dating?
You should expect that
Haiku # 63341, April 2, 2019 12:10 pm ET
by Premature ejaculator of Your pussy
Who reads poetry?
Bad poets, wannabe bards,
dissident misfits.
Haiku # 63340, April 2, 2019 10:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who reads poetry?
Violent criminal street thugs
and the POlice, too.
Haiku # 63339, April 2, 2019 9:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who reads poetry?
genderqueer feminist nuts
and disgruntled fools.
Haiku # 63338, April 2, 2019 9:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who reads poetry?
Milquetoasts and tax accountants
(and dashing villains !)
Haiku # 63337, April 2, 2019 9:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who reads poetry?
People tripping on acid,
Preparing for death!
Haiku # 63336, April 2, 2019 9:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Once, in my honor
Someone chucked a huge onion
Breaking a window
Haiku # 63335, April 2, 2019 6:15 am ET
by Veggie tales
Who reads poetry?
People waiting in airports?
Laundromat patrons?
Haiku # 63334, April 2, 2019 6:12 am ET
by Someone of Reading the phone book
I
Haiku # 63333, April 2, 2019 4:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Front porch rocking chair
Grandpa fucked an old dead fish
And ate it for lunch
Haiku # 63332, April 2, 2019 4:08 am ET
by Porch stories
Bagel forehead bride
Tonight your hymen is toast
Served up with a schmear
Haiku # 63331, April 2, 2019 3:37 am ET
by Lox Ness Monster
Colonoscopy
But the cleanout was half assed
Test results were fudged
Haiku # 63330, April 2, 2019 3:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Here
Parasites are gross
Wish I had a microscope
Spray me with napalm
Haiku # 63329, April 2, 2019 3:22 am ET
by It couldn't hurt of Living hell
You fart on my dick
Each time that I buttfuck you
And I'm sick of it
Haiku # 63328, April 2, 2019 3:17 am ET
by Lucifer of My ass
STD's include
Syphilis,Gonorrhea
Crabs,AIDS and herpes
Haiku # 63327, April 2, 2019 3:04 am ET
by Satan of Hell
I solemnly swear
On this Jenga bible stack
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 63326, April 2, 2019 2:12 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
I took a shit once
Looked like the Liberty Bell
Even had the crack
Haiku # 63325, April 2, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Stoney Balboa of High AF can't run up steps
Why do people sneeze?
Molecules of dead mofos
Hitler is in your nose
Haiku # 63324, April 2, 2019 2:06 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
John Boy Walton here
Remember those old sisters?
They tasted like fish!
Haiku # 63323, April 2, 2019 1:00 am ET
by John Boy Walton of Walton
He sucks his own dick
But if he comes in his mouth
Does that make him gay
Haiku # 63322, April 2, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Hitler's Rabbi of MI
How long should it take
To train monkeys to hold their
Feces underwater?
Haiku # 63321, April 1, 2019 11:04 pm ET
by U Cancomeupnowdarth
Guillotine line up
Extra thin sliced baloney
Just go in backwards
Haiku # 63320, April 1, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Brain IAC of Here
People always say
Give Jesus all your problems
Give the guy a break
Haiku # 63319, April 1, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Rural
Please send provisions
I have no coffee or tea
No toilet paper
Haiku # 63318, April 1, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Needy Poet
How is your bunghole?
Window to the soul backdoor
Brown flute toot salute
Haiku # 63317, April 1, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by Grunt
Deficiency in
political correctness
must be commended.
Haiku # 63316, April 1, 2019 11:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What if our assholes
Were tied in a double knot
Like a balloon end?
Haiku # 63315, April 1, 2019 11:30 am ET
by God is Good
Hebrew National
I thought it was a racehorse
But it's a hot dog
Haiku # 63314, April 1, 2019 11:25 am ET
by Gifeltebiscuit of OTB
If God loved the Earth
Why didst He give us poopholes
Bad outhouse gasses
Haiku # 63313, April 1, 2019 11:20 am ET
by Belieber
Nationalism:
it's the new Globalism.
This is so much fun!
Haiku # 63312, April 1, 2019 11:20 am ET
by Seeing Orange Russia-Colluding Nazis EVERYWHERE !
Deficiency in
political correctness
has brought me to this.
Haiku # 63311, April 1, 2019 11:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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