I took a shit once
Looked like the Liberty Bell
Even had the crack

Why do people sneeze?
Molecules of dead mofos
Hitler is in your nose

John Boy Walton here
Remember those old sisters?
They tasted like fish!

He sucks his own dick
But if he comes in his mouth
Does that make him gay

How long should it take
To train monkeys to hold their
Feces underwater?

Guillotine line up
Extra thin sliced baloney
Just go in backwards

People always say
Give Jesus all your problems
Give the guy a break

Please send provisions
I have no coffee or tea
No toilet paper

How is your bunghole?
Window to the soul backdoor
Brown flute toot salute

Deficiency in
political correctness
must be commended.

What if our assholes
Were tied in a double knot
Like a balloon end?

Hebrew National
I thought it was a racehorse
But it's a hot dog

If God loved the Earth
Why didst He give us poopholes
Bad outhouse gasses

Nationalism:
it's the new Globalism.
This is so much fun!

Deficiency in
political correctness
has brought me to this.

Use banana leaves.
Monkeys never need TP.
Only a target.

Apologetic
I see your predicament
No toilet paper

Guillotine line up.
Ba-CAWK; the final last words.
Treated like a queen.

I've been overwhelmed
by the banality of
your anality

Yellow, green, purple,
chartreuse, magenta, cyan,
Crayola skin tone.

I swear it's not me.
You find that impossible,
but I swear it's true.

To be successful
eat two-plus chickens per day;
you might lay an egg.

When garbage goes in
but the processor is broken,
that's not a good thing.

How long should it take
to train monkeys to hold their
breaths underwater.

Celery crunches.
But only when it is fresh.
It's just like puppies.

The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O

The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O

Took off all my clothes
The dog is fascinated
My dink has no sheath

Sticky liquid trail
Followed it to a big tree
Keebler elf wanking

For just fifty cents
Enter the Smegmatron Dome
Good for what ails you

Brazilian hookers,
also known as prosti-toots,
fart on you for cash.

That look in your eye
Do they even notice it?
Under the ski mask

Hunk of burning love
Backyard penis barbeque
Shimmy Shimmy Shake!

There are parasites
draining away my life force.
No video game!

They live in my house,
sleeping under the same roof,
eating all my food.

There is never thanks.
Will they miss me when I'm dead.
Think I'll go jogging.

There's rum in my balls.
I always carry my balls.
Can't be forgotten.

Preemptive retard.
Fetal alcohol syndrome
before conception.

Would you like a drink?
Ethanol protein milk shake.
Drunk body builders.

You walked in on it
The primal scene. Primal scream
It can't be unseen

King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home

King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home

You forgot rum balls
A hole in your pants pocket
Sweet Tooth satisfied

Satan, Santa, Nastaa, Nestea, instant powdered shit evil buttfuckers chocolate guilty fat cookie eggnog jizz cookie eating destroyer of all that is good and holy... Pass another one of those pot brownies, dude.

Writing more poems
At the behest of Satan
I meant to say, Stan

Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again

Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again

International
Black autistic poetry
month is upon us!

Oooo, it's all sticky.
Oh, no, please God, get off!
It's smothering me!

I'd rather have a
maxi pad with chicken wings.
Extra spicy, please.

Everybody's got
Something to hide except for
Me and my monkey

Hey Haiku misfits:
National Poetry Month
is soon upon us...

http://tinyurl.com/y4p7t3ev

Red Bull gives you wings.
Pour it on a maxi-pad.
Maxi pad with wings.

Nothing helps my brain.
Perhaps I should by tampons.
Cerebral tampons.

Personally I
prefer Bo Burnham's show "What?"
He's a crazy kid.