When garbage goes in
but the processor is broken,
that's not a good thing.
by Anonymous Poet
How long should it take
to train monkeys to hold their
breaths underwater.
by Anonymous Poet
Celery crunches.
But only when it is fresh.
It's just like puppies.
by Anonymous Poet
The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O
by Anonymous Poet
The armpit sniffer
Walks on a tilt. Birkenstocks
She'll find the B O
by Anonymous Poet
Took off all my clothes
The dog is fascinated
My dink has no sheath
by Being a poet is strange
Sticky liquid trail
Followed it to a big tree
Keebler elf wanking
by Forrest Gunk
For just fifty cents
Enter the Smegmatron Dome
Good for what ails you
by Anonymous Poet
Brazilian hookers,
also known as prosti-toots,
fart on you for cash.
by df of How many is a brazilion?
That look in your eye
Do they even notice it?
Under the ski mask
by Innocent bystander of Standing by
Hunk of burning love
Backyard penis barbeque
Shimmy Shimmy Shake!
by Beehive Honeys Gone Wrong
There are parasites
draining away my life force.
No video game!
They live in my house,
sleeping under the same roof,
eating all my food.
There is never thanks.
Will they miss me when I'm dead.
Think I'll go jogging.
by Come on, brain, start bleeding again! I am in need of much alcohol
There's rum in my balls.
I always carry my balls.
Can't be forgotten.
Preemptive retard.
Fetal alcohol syndrome
before conception.
Would you like a drink?
Ethanol protein milk shake.
Drunk body builders.
by df
You walked in on it
The primal scene. Primal scream
It can't be unseen
by Blind of Dad's anteater
King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home
by Stan of Here
King of Satan, my friend
Pigs wet farts and private parts
Weeeeeeeee all the way home
by Stan of Here
You forgot rum balls
A hole in your pants pocket
Sweet Tooth satisfied
by Looskoothi of Bus
Satan, Santa, Nastaa, Nestea, instant powdered shit evil buttfuckers chocolate guilty fat cookie eggnog jizz cookie eating destroyer of all that is good and holy... Pass another one of those pot brownies, dude.
by You know you love drugs, admit it!
Writing more poems
At the behest of Satan
I meant to say, Stan
by Anonymous Poet
Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again
by Rural Guido
Spring contemplation
Examining my undies
mud season again
by Rural Guido
International
Black autistic poetry
month is upon us!
Oooo, it's all sticky.
Oh, no, please God, get off!
It's smothering me!
by df
I'd rather have a
maxi pad with chicken wings.
Extra spicy, please.
by df
Everybody's got
Something to hide except for
Me and my monkey
by Charles Darwin of John Lennon's House
Hey Haiku misfits:
National Poetry Month
is soon upon us...
http://tinyurl.com/y4p7t3ev
by Useless Poetaster of April
Red Bull gives you wings.
Pour it on a maxi-pad.
Maxi pad with wings.
by df
Nothing helps my brain.
Perhaps I should by tampons.
Cerebral tampons.
by df
Personally I
prefer Bo Burnham's show "What?"
He's a crazy kid.
by df
Got to watch Brass Eye
It's like Python on steroids
(from the mid 90s)
https://youtu.be/9rGI_-nKoJc
by Brit Humor Helps My Brain
Yes, I like Python.
I am not a fanatic.
But they are okay.
Just like lumberjacks.
Did you like their reunion?
Respect to the dead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSgOKjvjSCY
First 10 minutes are worth watching.
You'll roll laughing.
by df
His own furry dog
by Anonymous Poet
Guy woke from a dream
Chewbacca giving him head
T
by Ray Bies
Darth you like Python?
I am surprised by this fact.
I saw them live once.
by NYC 1976 of Spanish Inquisition
Once a nerd couple
bought a Fleshlight and dildo.
The gadgets had sex.
The nerds ate popcorn,
watched Star Wars, and thrusted their
sex toys while laughing.
You'd make a fortune
selling light saber sex toys
to Star Wars perverts.
by Darth FanthaBucker
Happy Meal concept
Targeted for the mothers
Includes vibrator
by Ronald McDildo of Fish Delight
They must have mustard.
The patty medium rare.
With lots of veggies.
Mayo or catsup
are completely forbidden.
This ain't McDonalds.
You must taste the cow.
Revel in the poor beast's death.
Become a lion.
by df
What did you expect,
the Spanish Inquisition?!
No one expects that!
by df
My coffee maker
has a built-in washable
filter that works great.
by df -- I may be evil, but at least I'm green.
South Park already
did an Ass Burgers syndrome
episode. It rocked.
Cartman put burgers
down his pants; enhanced flavor.
I would have ate one.
It's been suggested.
Don't think I ain't thunk on it.
Eat my Ass Burgers!
by df
The food bank is great
I just made a deposit
Onion on doorstep
by Jen R. Russley
Number two, of course
Unlucky number for trees
I don t mean to brag
by Poop stain
No coffee filters
Take from Peter to pay Paul
Wiped my ass with them
by Yankee Ingenuity
He has no burgers
Got a sizable wiener
Likes it in hot buns
by Reporting from the scene
Hey Darth Figpucker
Maybe you have Assberger's
That might explain it.
by unfiltered filth
I drink black coffee
Only have instant right now
No coffee filters
by Anonymous Poet
Vietnamese drip:
that's the stuff. With chicory,
condensed milk and ice
by Banh Mi Thuot of Ka Fe
millionaires are the only people who can get a good cup of coffee in my town. I am banned from the local cafe for repeatedly entering the establishment wearing just a necktie and sunscreen. Granted, I am certainly endowed in my downstairs regions. But seriously what gives?
by Coffee lover
Disco dancing dung
Stuck googly eyes on it
Toilet disco ball
by Heard of the Bee Gees of Heard of BMs?
Going back to sleep
in the hopes I wake up dead.
I could live with that.
by df
Lately been adding
a splash of Bailey's to it
just because, why not?
I mean, alcohol
and brain damage compliment
each other nicely.
by df
