I'd rather have a
maxi pad with chicken wings.
Extra spicy, please.
by df
Everybody's got
Something to hide except for
Me and my monkey
by Charles Darwin of John Lennon's House
Hey Haiku misfits:
National Poetry Month
is soon upon us...
http://tinyurl.com/y4p7t3ev
by Useless Poetaster of April
Red Bull gives you wings.
Pour it on a maxi-pad.
Maxi pad with wings.
by df
Nothing helps my brain.
Perhaps I should by tampons.
Cerebral tampons.
by df
Personally I
prefer Bo Burnham's show "What?"
He's a crazy kid.
by df
Got to watch Brass Eye
It's like Python on steroids
(from the mid 90s)
https://youtu.be/9rGI_-nKoJc
by Brit Humor Helps My Brain
Yes, I like Python.
I am not a fanatic.
But they are okay.
Just like lumberjacks.
Did you like their reunion?
Respect to the dead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSgOKjvjSCY
First 10 minutes are worth watching.
You'll roll laughing.
by df
His own furry dog
by Anonymous Poet
Guy woke from a dream
Chewbacca giving him head
T
by Ray Bies
Darth you like Python?
I am surprised by this fact.
I saw them live once.
by NYC 1976 of Spanish Inquisition
Once a nerd couple
bought a Fleshlight and dildo.
The gadgets had sex.
The nerds ate popcorn,
watched Star Wars, and thrusted their
sex toys while laughing.
You'd make a fortune
selling light saber sex toys
to Star Wars perverts.
by Darth FanthaBucker
Happy Meal concept
Targeted for the mothers
Includes vibrator
by Ronald McDildo of Fish Delight
They must have mustard.
The patty medium rare.
With lots of veggies.
Mayo or catsup
are completely forbidden.
This ain't McDonalds.
You must taste the cow.
Revel in the poor beast's death.
Become a lion.
by df
What did you expect,
the Spanish Inquisition?!
No one expects that!
by df
My coffee maker
has a built-in washable
filter that works great.
by df -- I may be evil, but at least I'm green.
South Park already
did an Ass Burgers syndrome
episode. It rocked.
Cartman put burgers
down his pants; enhanced flavor.
I would have ate one.
It's been suggested.
Don't think I ain't thunk on it.
Eat my Ass Burgers!
by df
The food bank is great
I just made a deposit
Onion on doorstep
by Jen R. Russley
Number two, of course
Unlucky number for trees
I don t mean to brag
by Poop stain
No coffee filters
Take from Peter to pay Paul
Wiped my ass with them
by Yankee Ingenuity
He has no burgers
Got a sizable wiener
Likes it in hot buns
by Reporting from the scene
Hey Darth Figpucker
Maybe you have Assberger's
That might explain it.
by unfiltered filth
I drink black coffee
Only have instant right now
No coffee filters
by Anonymous Poet
Vietnamese drip:
that's the stuff. With chicory,
condensed milk and ice
by Banh Mi Thuot of Ka Fe
millionaires are the only people who can get a good cup of coffee in my town. I am banned from the local cafe for repeatedly entering the establishment wearing just a necktie and sunscreen. Granted, I am certainly endowed in my downstairs regions. But seriously what gives?
by Coffee lover
Disco dancing dung
Stuck googly eyes on it
Toilet disco ball
by Heard of the Bee Gees of Heard of BMs?
Going back to sleep
in the hopes I wake up dead.
I could live with that.
by df
Lately been adding
a splash of Bailey's to it
just because, why not?
I mean, alcohol
and brain damage compliment
each other nicely.
by df
Kenyan double A
light to mild roast for my
morning wake up drug.
by Choose your addictive substances wisely. Be finicky. Never compomise.
What kind of coffee
do you think's your favorite.
Either hot or cold.
I think you should try
Vietnamese iced coffee.
Very sweet and strong.
Meth ain't got jack shit
by comparison to it.
You'll be up all night.
by df
I once had a spoon.
The spoon was made of sugar.
Didn't work so well.
by df
The only filter
I use is for my Goddamn
coffee fuck shit piss.
by df
Was it Phil Collins?
Wrote the Book of Genesis
Peter Gabriel?
by Squonk
The Holy Bible
Darth Figpucker edition
Printed on 2-ply
by Sinner of Wiped Clean
Bodily function
Activated haiku gland
Out slides the poem
by Mrs. Flo T.
In spite of it all,
beyond his anality,
Darth can be honest.
by Freudian Analysis of DF
Love the bible verse.
My fave's Genesis 6:6.
You could have guessed that.
by df -- "And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart." of Gensis 6:6
Darth ruined this site.
For that alone, GOD save him.
Or maybe kill him.
by In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them of Revelation 9:6
Half a dead fish head
That
by Slurp of Headed for the nearest exit
Shit shit shit stink shit
Fecal filth... then, suddenly
Heaven appears: LIGHT
by Colors From Beyond Known Spectrum of Illuminating Wave Frequencies
Hail the orifice:
from whence such haiku wisdom
(your prolapsed rectum)
by Wrecked 'em in the Septic Tank of Slew 'em in the Aisles
hi I am going on a trip with my family for the next few weeks and I have a couple of drinks and drinks are at my house and I can get you drunk and then not be able to make it rain or so we will have a ride to the office and ya can come to pick up some stuff and then I
by Anonymous Poet
Realizations
Penises look like hot dogs
Vaginas are buns
by Menstruated ketchup of Golden
Righteous poetry
Left right here for the ages
Monumental waste
by 17 Silly Bills Tall of Knocking on Door
Someone stole my gifts.
I shat out the messiah.
And I got nothing.
by
It's not gay to spray.
Unless it gives you pleasure.
That's a little gay.
by
This is not profound.
But then what did you expect?
Nothing ever is.
by
When I am nervous
I tend to write more poems
That makes me nervous
by Nervous Rex
The masseuse was blind
Naturally, I asked how come
Too much beating off
by Anonymous Poet
Massage in bunghole
Message In bottle said FREE
Came HUGE deposit
by Story of Happy Ending
