Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

No coffee filters
Take from Peter to pay Paul
Wiped my ass with them
Haiku # 63262, March 29, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Yankee Ingenuity
He has no burgers
Got a sizable wiener
Likes it in hot buns
Haiku # 63261, March 29, 2019 7:34 pm ET
by Reporting from the scene
Hey Darth Figpucker
Maybe you have Assberger's
That might explain it.
Haiku # 63260, March 29, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by unfiltered filth
I drink black coffee
Only have instant right now
No coffee filters
Haiku # 63259, March 29, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vietnamese drip:
that's the stuff. With chicory,
condensed milk and ice
Haiku # 63258, March 29, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Banh Mi Thuot of Ka Fe
millionaires are the only people who can get a good cup of coffee in my town. I am banned from the local cafe for repeatedly entering the establishment wearing just a necktie and sunscreen. Granted, I am certainly endowed in my downstairs regions. But seriously what gives?
Haiku # 63257, March 29, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Coffee lover
Disco dancing dung
Stuck googly eyes on it
Toilet disco ball
Haiku # 63256, March 29, 2019 4:21 pm ET
by Heard of the Bee Gees of Heard of BMs?
Going back to sleep
in the hopes I wake up dead.
I could live with that.
Haiku # 63255, March 29, 2019 3:30 pm ET
by df
Lately been adding
a splash of Bailey's to it
just because, why not?

I mean, alcohol
and brain damage compliment
each other nicely.
Haiku # 63254, March 29, 2019 3:26 pm ET
by df
Kenyan double A
light to mild roast for my
morning wake up drug.
Haiku # 63253, March 29, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by Choose your addictive substances wisely. Be finicky. Never compomise.
What kind of coffee
do you think's your favorite.
Either hot or cold.

I think you should try
Vietnamese iced coffee.
Very sweet and strong.

Meth ain't got jack shit
by comparison to it.
You'll be up all night.
Haiku # 63252, March 29, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by df
I once had a spoon.
The spoon was made of sugar.
Didn't work so well.
Haiku # 63251, March 29, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by df
The only filter
I use is for my Goddamn
coffee fuck shit piss.
Haiku # 63250, March 29, 2019 3:13 pm ET
by df
Was it Phil Collins?
Wrote the Book of Genesis
Peter Gabriel?
Haiku # 63249, March 29, 2019 1:42 pm ET
by Squonk
The Holy Bible
Darth Figpucker edition
Printed on 2-ply
Haiku # 63248, March 29, 2019 11:21 am ET
by Sinner of Wiped Clean
Bodily function
Activated haiku gland
Out slides the poem
Haiku # 63247, March 29, 2019 11:18 am ET
by Mrs. Flo T.
In spite of it all,
beyond his anality,
Darth can be honest.
Haiku # 63246, March 29, 2019 8:44 am ET
by Freudian Analysis of DF
Love the bible verse.
My fave's Genesis 6:6.
You could have guessed that.
Haiku # 63244, March 29, 2019 6:07 am ET
by df -- "And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart." of Gensis 6:6
Darth ruined this site.
For that alone, GOD save him.
Or maybe kill him.
Haiku # 63243, March 29, 2019 3:11 am ET
by In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them of Revelation 9:6
Half a dead fish head
That
Haiku # 63242, March 28, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Slurp of Headed for the nearest exit
Shit shit shit stink shit
Fecal filth... then, suddenly
Heaven appears: LIGHT
Haiku # 63241, March 28, 2019 9:46 pm ET
by Colors From Beyond Known Spectrum of Illuminating Wave Frequencies
Hail the orifice:
from whence such haiku wisdom
(your prolapsed rectum)
Haiku # 63240, March 28, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Wrecked 'em in the Septic Tank of Slew 'em in the Aisles
hi I am going on a trip with my family for the next few weeks and I have a couple of drinks and drinks are at my house and I can get you drunk and then not be able to make it rain or so we will have a ride to the office and ya can come to pick up some stuff and then I
Haiku # 63239, March 28, 2019 8:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Realizations
Penises look like hot dogs
Vaginas are buns
Haiku # 63238, March 28, 2019 7:02 pm ET
by Menstruated ketchup of Golden
Righteous poetry
Left right here for the ages
Monumental waste
Haiku # 63237, March 28, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by 17 Silly Bills Tall of Knocking on Door
Someone stole my gifts.
I shat out the messiah.
And I got nothing.
Haiku # 63236, March 28, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by
It's not gay to spray.
Unless it gives you pleasure.
That's a little gay.
Haiku # 63235, March 28, 2019 6:45 pm ET
by
This is not profound.
But then what did you expect?
Nothing ever is.
Haiku # 63234, March 28, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by
When I am nervous
I tend to write more poems
That makes me nervous
Haiku # 63233, March 28, 2019 4:18 pm ET
by Nervous Rex
The masseuse was blind
Naturally, I asked how come
Too much beating off
Haiku # 63232, March 28, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Massage in bunghole
Message In bottle said FREE
Came HUGE deposit
Haiku # 63231, March 28, 2019 4:05 pm ET
by Story of Happy Ending
Message in bunghole
Haiku # 63230, March 28, 2019 4:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Adrift on the sea
Lonely brown chunk. Fecal debris.
Haiku # 63229, March 28, 2019 4:00 pm ET
by Castaway of SOS to the World
Chinese Factory
We finishing more your junk
Keep wanting more junk
Haiku # 63228, March 28, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Chinese Factory Worker of Chinese Factory
Sometimes I miss them
My biggest best smelliest farts
Then I write poems
Haiku # 63227, March 28, 2019 3:50 pm ET
by Poet of Poetry Robot was here
No fault of my own
Exceptionally stinky
I enjoy farting
Haiku # 63226, March 28, 2019 3:48 pm ET
by Farting personality
Poem enema
Administered rectally
Where poems grow
Haiku # 63225, March 28, 2019 3:46 pm ET
by There you have it of There
The nervous rectums
Everybody must get stoned
Gnomes are still legal
Haiku # 63224, March 28, 2019 12:37 pm ET
by 2legit2quit
You might save some trees
But we have to spray Febreeze
Your sewage stinx, please...
Haiku # 63223, March 28, 2019 12:34 pm ET
by Say it don't spray it
Someone come over
Rebuke these haiku demons
Bring a fly strip STAT
Haiku # 63222, March 28, 2019 12:15 pm ET
by Beezle Bop of Top of dung heap Big #2
High pitched insect noise
Your poop spoke through parasites
Are you the Devil?
Haiku # 63221, March 28, 2019 12:03 pm ET
by Fly Gal of From the Block
Cats pay at diners
In Newtown, Connecticut
Life is beautiful
Haiku # 63220, March 28, 2019 11:59 am ET
by Nun with size HUGE shoes of And a big ding a ling too
They brought you 3 gifts
A long handled wiping stick
Febreeze and a dwarf
Haiku # 63219, March 28, 2019 10:49 am ET
by Use dwarf like suppository
I was raped by God.
My poop spoke in parables.
So I flushed it down.
Haiku # 63218, March 28, 2019 10:22 am ET
by df of I didn't get any three gifts.
I suck garden gnomes.
It's not like I enjoy it.
It's for the protein.
Haiku # 63217, March 28, 2019 10:20 am ET
by df of anything for a free hot meal
The Great Figpucker:
Guru, Swami and Poet.
Hail, Rectal Dweller!
Haiku # 63216, March 28, 2019 7:08 am ET
by How many figs would a figpucker puck of Pucking Figs in the Septic Tank
Throw me in the drink
Shoot me out of a cannon
Electric chair, please!
Haiku # 63215, March 28, 2019 6:44 am ET
by Get it over with of Here and Now
Someone dropped a plate
Spaghetti was everywhere
Someone even cried
Haiku # 63214, March 28, 2019 5:51 am ET
by C. Wood Syndrome of Free Commubity Dinner 1976
I will outshine you
My immaculate hinder
Toilet Paper! Wipe!
Haiku # 63213, March 28, 2019 5:46 am ET
by Tootsie Free of Bending Over
Plastic flamingo
Beeline for your tiny dink
Fresh shrimp Bubba Gump
Haiku # 63212, March 28, 2019 4:15 am ET
by World gone Mad
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