Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Plastic flamingo
Beeline for your tiny dink
Fresh shrimp Bubba Gump
Haiku # 63212, March 28, 2019 4:15 am ET
by World gone Mad
The old garden gnome
Says he gonna blow his load
All up in your face
Haiku # 63211, March 28, 2019 4:11 am ET
by Manager of Kmart Garden Centre
Spraying takes less time.
Wiping takes time and paper.
Spray to save the earth!
Haiku # 63210, March 28, 2019 2:04 am ET
by df -- anal environmetalist
The head on my cock
goes up and down
up and down
up and down.
The head on my cock
goes up and down
all through your mom.
Haiku # 63209, March 28, 2019 2:02 am ET
by df
Too busy for this
He says as he sprays his bum
No time for poems
Haiku # 63208, March 28, 2019 12:54 am ET
by Life and times of Darth Figpucker of At large
One day you will know
The secret to happiness
Is picking your nose
Haiku # 63207, March 28, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Nose Poker of Booger Wall
Climbing Mount Everest
Is an inconvenient time
To need to go poop
Haiku # 63206, March 28, 2019 12:01 am ET
by Poopstain of Halfway there. Living on a prayer
When I call His name
He appears, almost like magic
DARTH FIGPUCKER!!
Haiku # 63205, March 27, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Test of Test
Sex offender list
An upstanding citizen
Well, his penis is
Haiku # 63204, March 27, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by Jesus will wash away his sinz
Beatniks down in Hell
I lll be wearing my beret
And turtleneck shirt
Haiku # 63203, March 27, 2019 10:26 pm ET
by Prez Darth Figpucker Fan Club of On the list
Beatniks down in Hell
I
Haiku # 63202, March 27, 2019 10:26 pm ET
by Prez Darth Figpucker Fan Club of On the list
Fantasyland
Cunnilingus delivered
By a Giant Tongue
Haiku # 63201, March 27, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Will I. Knock? of Or Ding Dong Doorbells
The cleanest anus
People came from miles away
To admire the shine
Haiku # 63200, March 27, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Shiny Heiny of Blindingly Bright Light
How can God judge us?
Any qualifications?
Dude has no street cred
Haiku # 63199, March 27, 2019 10:15 pm ET
by You know I of In your bunghole
When I get to Hell
I will read my poetry
to torture sinners.

God told me Himself.
And for all eternity
I make souls vomit.
Haiku # 63198, March 27, 2019 8:51 pm ET
by df
God: "Sure, what the hell.
We need someone to laugh at."
Angels shake their heads.
Haiku # 63197, March 27, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by df
Cuntfart before God.
I imitated Darth's shit.
Come on, let me in.
Haiku # 63196, March 27, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by pooterificus unanimous
"Darth stands before God."
Bends over and shows asshole.
Jumps off cloud with smile.
Haiku # 63195, March 27, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by df
"Vesuvius Brown":
sounds like a mid-seventies
Blaxploitation film.
Haiku # 63194, March 27, 2019 12:50 pm ET
by Superfly of Shaft
Vesuvius Brown
In the morning when I rise
Sunrise offering
Haiku # 63193, March 27, 2019 11:51 am ET
by Vesuvius Brown of Shitter
Have joy little Darth.
You will spend eternity
With the God of shit.
Haiku # 63192, March 27, 2019 7:06 am ET
by Fecal Omnipresence of the Underworld
Darth stands before God:
"I wrote about snot and shit--
Come on. Let me in..."
Haiku # 63191, March 27, 2019 7:01 am ET
by Bored by Biology of Infantile Denial
At the urinal
take out your black Sharpie pen.
Draw a three-inch square.

And under it write:
"Booger Farm!" Add a booger.
Watch them multiply.

In only one week
there will be dozens of them.
Green, hairy, bloody.

All types of boogers.
A dried snot sanctuary.
You will be amazed.
Haiku # 63190, March 27, 2019 6:16 am ET
by Remember, it started with ony one. Delusions of Grandure -- playing Booger God.
Go ask yo momma.
Mosquitoes ain't all I swat.
Rosy red butt cheeks.
Haiku # 63189, March 27, 2019 6:10 am ET
by Smack-orama!
A young inventor,
Ann Funt, invented a cart.
It was the Funt Cart.
Haiku # 63188, March 27, 2019 6:08 am ET
by It ran on hot air.
Next time you go poop
Put up a picture of it
On your Facebook page
Haiku # 63187, March 27, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Damien stein
At the salad bar
Onions, tomatoes, lettuce
Croutons, my booger
Haiku # 63186, March 26, 2019 11:33 pm ET
by Health Nut of Salad Bar
I enjoy farting
In claustrophobic settings
Such as this poem
Haiku # 63185, March 26, 2019 11:30 pm ET
by Stinky Syllables
How Darth spends his day
Crunching numbers, jerking off
Swatting mosquitoes
Haiku # 63184, March 26, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by The old lady of Shoe
Something smells fishy
Canadian lesbians
That k d Lang tang
Haiku # 63183, March 26, 2019 10:56 pm ET
by Kraft Dinner of Chesterfield
God wants you to die
So he can crumple you up
Throw you in the trash
Haiku # 63182, March 26, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by God
It all just gets worse.
The world, haiku, all of it.
There's no improvement.

You should hate God too.
I absolutely believe.
Absolute hatred.
Haiku # 63181, March 26, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by df
Jussie" Smollett WINS
Where is Mueller the donkey?
He needs a new job
Haiku # 63180, March 26, 2019 2:06 pm ET
by Chicago Kid of Chi town
Close your eyes. Relax.
Let the Orange flow into
your turbulent soul.
Haiku # 63179, March 26, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Orange Buddha of Orange Soda
What fun it would be
Kicking in that orange head
He
Haiku # 63178, March 26, 2019 12:32 pm ET
by What part of your brain of Are you using
I feel sure of it . . .
I KNOW there was collusion.
Truth does not matter.
Haiku # 63177, March 26, 2019 10:18 am ET
by Another Virtue-Signaling Idiot Who Hates Donald Trump
Main stream media
spewing total constant lies
HA! HA! HA! TRUMPED!!!
Haiku # 63176, March 26, 2019 3:20 am ET
by Joe McCarthy of Hall of Hero's
Brennen the Commie
Says he got the "wrong info".
lying Bolshevik!

Voted for Gus Hall
A agent of Joe Stalin
For President.

How did this moron?
Become CIA director?
Obama the Clown!
Haiku # 63175, March 26, 2019 3:06 am ET
by Ugly Hombre of Kalifornia
Mueller the donkey
Wasted 25 million
Trying to get Trump

Instead a big fail
Democrat bull chit again
Egg on the rats faces

It is about time
for leftist clowns- to wise up
world class dumb chit fools..
Haiku # 63174, March 26, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Ugly Hombre of Kalifornia
I hope the world ends
Takes a flying fuck right off
We deserve better
Haiku # 63173, March 26, 2019 2:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
God so loved the world
Gaveth us all this haiku
Smells like chicken shit
Haiku # 63172, March 26, 2019 1:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Penis Leprosy
An unpopular subject
Have some spotted dick
Haiku # 63171, March 25, 2019 11:36 pm ET
by We will not go until we get some of Here
Those aren't suction cups.
Those are lesions from disease.
Tell your mom sorry.
Haiku # 63170, March 25, 2019 11:34 pm ET
by df
I watched midget porn
Ha! They had a trampoline
She looked she stunk
Haiku # 63169, March 25, 2019 10:13 pm ET
by No shortage of laughs
Vaginas have them
They start at ten inches deep
You wouldn't know that
Haiku # 63168, March 25, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by Ruler of Here
Bought a new midget.
She came with a free brass bed.
Jumping on it nude.
Haiku # 63167, March 25, 2019 10:10 pm ET
by df of Midget porn is hilarious.
Haiku suck my balls.
At least something sucks my balls.
Besides octopi.

Or octopusses?
Or is it octopussies.
That's eight vaginas.

Suction cups all 'round.
Imagine vaginas with
suction cups in them.

Wouldn't that be cool.
Genetic engineering.
Come on, lets do this!
Haiku # 63166, March 25, 2019 10:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Bought an old brass bed
It came with a free midget
He's jerking off now
Haiku # 63165, March 25, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by It's the little things of Some of them things is big
Haiku is the Worst.
Haiku is non-poetry
because it's easy.
Haiku # 63164, March 25, 2019 6:08 pm ET
by Haiku Poet of Dashing shit off
Mueller is reviled
in humble haiku verses.
Accuser=Loser
Haiku # 63163, March 25, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Civil War due to Insanity of Soul-Dead Antichrist Zombies Like You
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