A young inventor,
Ann Funt, invented a cart.
It was the Funt Cart.

Next time you go poop
Put up a picture of it
On your Facebook page

At the salad bar
Onions, tomatoes, lettuce
Croutons, my booger

I enjoy farting
In claustrophobic settings
Such as this poem

How Darth spends his day
Crunching numbers, jerking off
Swatting mosquitoes

Something smells fishy
Canadian lesbians
That k d Lang tang

God wants you to die
So he can crumple you up
Throw you in the trash

It all just gets worse.
The world, haiku, all of it.
There's no improvement.

You should hate God too.
I absolutely believe.
Absolute hatred.

Jussie" Smollett WINS
Where is Mueller the donkey?
He needs a new job

Close your eyes. Relax.
Let the Orange flow into
your turbulent soul.

What fun it would be
Kicking in that orange head
He

I feel sure of it . . .
I KNOW there was collusion.
Truth does not matter.

Main stream media
spewing total constant lies
HA! HA! HA! TRUMPED!!!

Brennen the Commie
Says he got the "wrong info".
lying Bolshevik!

Voted for Gus Hall
A agent of Joe Stalin
For President.

How did this moron?
Become CIA director?
Obama the Clown!

Mueller the donkey
Wasted 25 million
Trying to get Trump

Instead a big fail
Democrat bull chit again
Egg on the rats faces

It is about time
for leftist clowns- to wise up
world class dumb chit fools..

I hope the world ends
Takes a flying fuck right off
We deserve better

God so loved the world
Gaveth us all this haiku
Smells like chicken shit

Penis Leprosy
An unpopular subject
Have some spotted dick

Those aren't suction cups.
Those are lesions from disease.
Tell your mom sorry.

I watched midget porn
Ha! They had a trampoline
She looked she stunk

Vaginas have them
They start at ten inches deep
You wouldn't know that

Bought a new midget.
She came with a free brass bed.
Jumping on it nude.

Haiku suck my balls.
At least something sucks my balls.
Besides octopi.

Or octopusses?
Or is it octopussies.
That's eight vaginas.

Suction cups all 'round.
Imagine vaginas with
suction cups in them.

Wouldn't that be cool.
Genetic engineering.
Come on, lets do this!

Bought an old brass bed
It came with a free midget
He's jerking off now

Haiku is the Worst.
Haiku is non-poetry
because it's easy.

Mueller is reviled
in humble haiku verses.
Accuser=Loser

Cheeto Forty-Five
(Your Orange Daddy) Loves You.
oh how he loves you...

Two year non-event:
where's that "Russian Collusion" ?
(He'll have second term !)

Recommendation
To have a more pleasant day
Wake up. Shit brains out.

No, I did not say
Howard Stern on Sybian.
That would just be gross.

If you'd like to know.
Sybian on Howard Stern.
Porn stars orgasm.

Just passing through here
I tried not to make a mess
Headed to Hell now

Remember the guy
Who married a pillow case
Best man was a sock

You should buy one
I get a big commission
I mean, a boner

Sybian sex toy
Sit on it and ride to Bliss
A trip to the moon

I feel self conscious
When I shop for cucumbers.
Greengrocer turns red

What's a "sybian"?
Can you explain it to me
in three haiku lines?

Darth, her next birthday
Buy her a sybian
Solve all your problems

If you buy a wife,
you should get a Korean.
Flippos are too fat.

Remember the time
Jacques Cousteau fellated sharks
For shits and giggles

Saw a frog today.
Plastic bag hanging from ass.
Slowly pulled it out.

The frog seemed happy,
freed from the plastic bag and
anally pleasured.

If you know a frog,
tell it don't eat plastic bags.
They aren't sea turtles.

No fear, just loathing
For Thompson's wretched writing
And those sick rumors...

You spend too much time
writing haiku on this site.
Go take drugs instead.

School girl Lolita
Sure, you will recognize me
Look for the chin hair

I ate the bagel
Implanted in your forehead
While you were sleeping

Now take big inhale
Bomb dropped on Hiroshima
But made of cat poop

Chinese factory
We are making your next junk
I write this poem

Dad was a fun guy
But he only visited
Sporadically

New to all of this
Baby of the zodiac
Go easy on me

Regurgitation
Then God swallows us again
Reincarnation