Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

With a name like that
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It has to be good
Haiku # 62977, March 15, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Jogging shorts too short.
Try for a quarter mile sprint,
mister dink flops out.

Sorry 'bout that, girls.
Now just try to unsee that!
High school running track.
Haiku # 62976, March 15, 2019 8:34 am ET
by df
Jogging does seem to bring back the brain pain. But strangely on opposite side from where it used to be. Maybe the bleeding is shifting around or something. I really hope this kills me. Life has gotten to be... I mean, jeez, it's like a prison. Really.

Alcohol. That's what I need!
Haiku # 62975, March 15, 2019 8:30 am ET
by df
I let it jiggle.
But that's what I always do.
sometimes it sneaks out.
Haiku # 62974, March 15, 2019 8:27 am ET
by df
Wet stain on sweatpants
Darth, is that perspiration?
Haiku # 62973, March 14, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by The Importance of Physical Exercise
Shorts over sweatpants
Ready to wrestle gators
Balut egg, Rocky
Haiku # 62972, March 14, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by Spectator of Sidelines
Do you wear a cup?
I mean, when you jog around?
Just let it jiggle?
Haiku # 62971, March 14, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Ivana Noe of I don
And most people jog
to live longer, not to die.
Wish me lots of luck.
Haiku # 62970, March 14, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Imagine there's no Darth Figpucker.
It's easy if you try.
No shit haiku below us.
Above us only politics, religion, and vhs.

I wonder what ever happened to Iamback. He was a funny guy. Talking about Darth Gaydar and Nipress... whatever the hell that is. Maybe if I'm gone he will come back out of hiding. Maybe he's in prison. Fucking Juggalo loser. Woot woot.

Jogging a few miles every day seems to be making my head feel strange again... Some vitamin E and other blood thinners... maybe a stiff drink at night. No more of this shit life. I mean, you have a be a real fucking work of art to try to post on here all the time... Well, at least it's not Farcebook. Even I don't sink that low.
Haiku # 62969, March 14, 2019 12:09 pm ET
by df
Some are born in shit.
They are born, they live and die
In deep filth of shit.
Haiku # 62967, March 14, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darthless Bad Haiku
That would be a lovely thing . . .
Figpucker-free verse
Haiku # 62966, March 14, 2019 10:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Note: Gruesome footage
I never clip my toenails
Never wash my feet
Haiku # 62965, March 14, 2019 7:44 am ET
by Starkitten
My cunts bigger than your cunt.
My cunts bigger than yours.
My cunts bigger 'cause it gets
huge black cocks.
My cunts bigger than yours.
Haiku # 62964, March 14, 2019 7:24 am ET
by Funtcart Funtcart Funt.
Cats about fight.
Sounds like karaoke bar
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 62963, March 14, 2019 7:22 am ET
by df
Has anyone seen Garth?
Haiku # 62962, March 14, 2019 6:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cyclonic fart bomb
Homeland Insecurity
Porcelain rocket
Haiku # 62961, March 14, 2019 6:31 am ET
by Brown Smudge of Do not fly list
Tootsie Roll swirly
Spot on accurate fork assed
Brownie, Incoming!
Haiku # 62960, March 14, 2019 6:06 am ET
by Weather Guru of Atmospheric pressure
I, Balloon Poet
Shall rise high and pierce yon clouds
With my erection
Haiku # 62959, March 14, 2019 12:02 am ET
by High of Higher
It is for you to guess
Whether I occupy this
Jiffy Pop corn tin
Haiku # 62958, March 14, 2019 12:01 am ET
by Higher of Higher
And with that, I fly
Nay, I soar, high above all
Previous poets
Haiku # 62957, March 13, 2019 11:58 pm ET
by Flying of High
A bit of whiskey
Lubricated poem hole
Effortless discharge
Haiku # 62956, March 13, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Plonking of Toilet
Great way to go out
Sayonara,heaving snail
Your trail is yet moist
Haiku # 62955, March 13, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by Funny thing moving under kimono
She took a licking
Cause of death: Cunnilingus
And she stopped ticking
Haiku # 62954, March 13, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Petit mort
I bribed my way up
Top rung of haiku ladder
I piss on you all
Haiku # 62953, March 13, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Top of Ladder of Highest rung
Nedra was her name
She had surreal drooping teats
Gave me a boner
Haiku # 62952, March 13, 2019 10:35 pm ET
by Art lover
I have disrobed now
Feeling inebriated
God, am I hairy
Haiku # 62951, March 13, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Introspective of Behind closed doors
That us how I roll
Give us your Tootsie update
Howz your Tootsie hole?
Haiku # 62950, March 13, 2019 10:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
oh fuck now what is
he trying to do with that dildoe
a fucking hole in one?
Haiku # 62949, March 13, 2019 10:23 pm ET
by vhs
Philippines poet
Found face down in a fresh pool
Of his own haiku
Haiku # 62948, March 13, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth, a poltergeist
We can only imagine
The shenanigans
Haiku # 62947, March 13, 2019 9:05 pm ET
by He's here of Here
Favourite position
Of soon to be ex husband
Hunched over iPad
Haiku # 62946, March 13, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Gay Divorcee
you won't have peace if
you don't make peace on this end
you know what i believe...
Haiku # 62945, March 13, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by vhs
I won't let you have
a leaving quite yet, you know
you can go but...pfft...

and so it goes
Haiku # 62944, March 13, 2019 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
Vitamin E thins blood.
I'll take some and go jogging.
Make brain bleed again.

This time stay quiet.
Wife wakes up to a cold corpse.
And I will have peace.

So will bad haiku.
No more "Philippines toilets."
No more "dog pot pie."

Fuck this shitty world.
Thank God we're not immortal.
Get me out of here.
Haiku # 62943, March 13, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by df
Oysters on half shell.
Enterprise looks like a clam.
Fire spooge torpedoes!
Haiku # 62942, March 13, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by df
Sign this disclaimer
If you get knocked unconscious
When I belly dance
Haiku # 62941, March 13, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by Shakzilla
Shatner oyster gob
Potent Aphrodisiac
Enter at own risk
Haiku # 62940, March 13, 2019 5:42 pm ET
by Greasy chicken
Like I just saw you
In the Mystery Machine
I love you, Scooby
Haiku # 62939, March 13, 2019 5:35 pm ET
by Smooches
At Japanese house
Please take off shoes then come in
Proper etiquette

Over at my place
Please take off all clothes. Come in.
Well cum mat is out
Haiku # 62938, March 13, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Hostess with the mostest of Moist makers
Up in the window
I m wearing Mother s bathrobe
Pink underpanties
Haiku # 62937, March 13, 2019 5:14 pm ET
by Norman Bates of Window vicinity
Up in the window
I
Haiku # 62936, March 13, 2019 5:13 pm ET
by Norman Bates of Window vicinity
My mother said to
get things done you better not
mess with Major Tom.
Haiku # 62935, March 13, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by
Cereal is good
Perverted Cookie Jarvis
Oh that poor woman
Haiku # 62934, March 13, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Glory To God
I made a Tootsie
Thought of you for a moment
And your spraying ways
Haiku # 62933, March 13, 2019 1:57 pm ET
by I heart toilet paper of 2-ply smile
Remember the time
We pretended we were bears
And mauled the post man?
Haiku # 62932, March 13, 2019 1:38 pm ET
by Bath Saltz
Jesus had it rough
Never had a grandfather
Live in someone's mouth

Who was God's father
Did he have a Godfather
I just can't even
Haiku # 62931, March 13, 2019 1:36 pm ET
by Oh, bother
Christian fucking shit.
I should have said Tootsie Roll.
Sometimes we need shit.

YouTube Jesus spam.
If he were real, he'd be proud.
Bathroom wall scripture!
Haiku # 62930, March 13, 2019 1:11 pm ET
by df
https://youtu.be/L4e2ST3evmU
Haiku # 62929, March 13, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by 2nd one is good
Granddad's foul anus
has always lived in my mouth.
Ask him; he's right here...

Yep, that Figpucker
grandson o' mine loves to eat
old mens' foul arseholes.
Haiku # 62928, March 13, 2019 7:58 am ET
by df
Grand-dad's foul anus
Lives again in your own mouth.
Or is it your mind?
Haiku # 62927, March 13, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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