BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
247 Days
and
65352 Haikus
later...
Jogging shorts too short.
Try for a quarter mile sprint,
mister dink flops out.

Sorry 'bout that, girls.
Now just try to unsee that!
High school running track.
Haiku #62976, by df
March 15, 2019 8:34 am ET

Jogging does seem to bring back the brain pain. But strangely on opposite side from where it used to be. Maybe the bleeding is shifting around or something. I really hope this kills me. Life has gotten to be... I mean, jeez, it's like a prison. Really.

Alcohol. That's what I need!
Haiku #62975, by df
March 15, 2019 8:30 am ET

I let it jiggle.
But that's what I always do.
sometimes it sneaks out.
Haiku #62974, by df
March 15, 2019 8:27 am ET

Wet stain on sweatpants
Darth, is that perspiration?
Haiku #62973, by The Importance of Physical Exercise
March 14, 2019 6:25 pm ET

Shorts over sweatpants
Ready to wrestle gators
Balut egg, Rocky
Haiku #62972, by Spectator of Sidelines
March 14, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Do you wear a cup?
I mean, when you jog around?
Just let it jiggle?
Haiku #62971, by Ivana Noe of I don
March 14, 2019 2:09 pm ET

And most people jog
to live longer, not to die.
Wish me lots of luck.
Haiku #62970, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Imagine there's no Darth Figpucker.
It's easy if you try.
No shit haiku below us.
Above us only politics, religion, and vhs.

I wonder what ever happened to Iamback. He was a funny guy. Talking about Darth Gaydar and Nipress... whatever the hell that is. Maybe if I'm gone he will come back out of hiding. Maybe he's in prison. Fucking Juggalo loser. Woot woot.

Jogging a few miles every day seems to be making my head feel strange again... Some vitamin E and other blood thinners... maybe a stiff drink at night. No more of this shit life. I mean, you have a be a real fucking work of art to try to post on here all the time... Well, at least it's not Farcebook. Even I don't sink that low.
Haiku #62969, by df
March 14, 2019 12:09 pm ET

They are called maggots.
Maggots and faggots in deep shit.
Forget Tootsie Rolls.

Attracted to poop.
An easy life that must be.
Shit is everywhere.
Haiku #62968, by Ooooo... gross! I almost stepped in Darth haiku!
March 14, 2019 11:43 am ET

Some are born in shit.
They are born, they live and die
In deep filth of shit.
Haiku #62967, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2019 10:36 am ET

Darthless Bad Haiku
That would be a lovely thing . . .
Figpucker-free verse
Haiku #62966, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2019 10:05 am ET

Note: Gruesome footage
I never clip my toenails
Never wash my feet
Haiku #62965, by Starkitten
March 14, 2019 7:44 am ET

My cunts bigger than your cunt.
My cunts bigger than yours.
My cunts bigger 'cause it gets
huge black cocks.
My cunts bigger than yours.
Haiku #62964, by Funtcart Funtcart Funt.
March 14, 2019 7:24 am ET

Cats about fight.
Sounds like karaoke bar
in the Philippines.
Haiku #62963, by df
March 14, 2019 7:22 am ET

Has anyone seen Garth?
Haiku #62962, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2019 6:33 am ET

Cyclonic fart bomb
Homeland Insecurity
Porcelain rocket
Haiku #62961, by Brown Smudge of Do not fly list
March 14, 2019 6:31 am ET

Tootsie Roll swirly
Spot on accurate fork assed
Brownie, Incoming!
Haiku #62960, by Weather Guru of Atmospheric pressure
March 14, 2019 6:06 am ET

I, Balloon Poet
Shall rise high and pierce yon clouds
With my erection
Haiku #62959, by High of Higher
March 14, 2019 12:02 am ET

It is for you to guess
Whether I occupy this
Jiffy Pop corn tin
Haiku #62958, by Higher of Higher
March 14, 2019 12:01 am ET

And with that, I fly
Nay, I soar, high above all
Previous poets
Haiku #62957, by Flying of High
March 13, 2019 11:58 pm ET

A bit of whiskey
Lubricated poem hole
Effortless discharge
Haiku #62956, by Plonking of Toilet
March 13, 2019 11:56 pm ET

Great way to go out
Sayonara,heaving snail
Your trail is yet moist
Haiku #62955, by Funny thing moving under kimono
March 13, 2019 11:53 pm ET

She took a licking
Cause of death: Cunnilingus
And she stopped ticking
Haiku #62954, by Petit mort
March 13, 2019 11:49 pm ET

I bribed my way up
Top rung of haiku ladder
I piss on you all
Haiku #62953, by Top of Ladder of Highest rung
March 13, 2019 11:18 pm ET

Nedra was her name
She had surreal drooping teats
Gave me a boner
Haiku #62952, by Art lover
March 13, 2019 10:35 pm ET

I have disrobed now
Feeling inebriated
God, am I hairy
Haiku #62951, by Introspective of Behind closed doors
March 13, 2019 10:32 pm ET

That us how I roll
Give us your Tootsie update
Howz your Tootsie hole?
Haiku #62950, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2019 10:30 pm ET

oh fuck now what is
he trying to do with that dildoe
a fucking hole in one?
Haiku #62949, by vhs
March 13, 2019 10:23 pm ET

Philippines poet
Found face down in a fresh pool
Of his own haiku
Haiku #62948, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2019 9:09 pm ET

Darth, a poltergeist
We can only imagine
The shenanigans
Haiku #62947, by He's here of Here
March 13, 2019 9:05 pm ET

Favourite position
Of soon to be ex husband
Hunched over iPad
Haiku #62946, by Gay Divorcee
March 13, 2019 9:02 pm ET

you won't have peace if
you don't make peace on this end
you know what i believe...
Haiku #62945, by vhs
March 13, 2019 8:59 pm ET

I won't let you have
a leaving quite yet, you know
you can go but...pfft...

and so it goes
Haiku #62944, by vhs
March 13, 2019 8:58 pm ET

Vitamin E thins blood.
I'll take some and go jogging.
Make brain bleed again.

This time stay quiet.
Wife wakes up to a cold corpse.
And I will have peace.

So will bad haiku.
No more "Philippines toilets."
No more "dog pot pie."

Fuck this shitty world.
Thank God we're not immortal.
Get me out of here.
Haiku #62943, by df
March 13, 2019 7:47 pm ET

Oysters on half shell.
Enterprise looks like a clam.
Fire spooge torpedoes!
Haiku #62942, by df
March 13, 2019 7:41 pm ET

Sign this disclaimer
If you get knocked unconscious
When I belly dance
Haiku #62941, by Shakzilla
March 13, 2019 6:21 pm ET

Shatner oyster gob
Potent Aphrodisiac
Enter at own risk
Haiku #62940, by Greasy chicken
March 13, 2019 5:42 pm ET

Like I just saw you
In the Mystery Machine
I love you, Scooby
Haiku #62939, by Smooches
March 13, 2019 5:35 pm ET

At Japanese house
Please take off shoes then come in
Proper etiquette

Over at my place
Please take off all clothes. Come in.
Well cum mat is out
Haiku #62938, by Hostess with the mostest of Moist makers
March 13, 2019 5:21 pm ET

Up in the window
I m wearing Mother s bathrobe
Pink underpanties
Haiku #62937, by Norman Bates of Window vicinity
March 13, 2019 5:14 pm ET

Up in the window
I
Haiku #62936, by Norman Bates of Window vicinity
March 13, 2019 5:13 pm ET

My mother said to
get things done you better not
mess with Major Tom.
Haiku #62935, by
March 13, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Cereal is good
Perverted Cookie Jarvis
Oh that poor woman
Haiku #62934, by Glory To God
March 13, 2019 2:03 pm ET

I made a Tootsie
Thought of you for a moment
And your spraying ways
Haiku #62933, by I heart toilet paper of 2-ply smile
March 13, 2019 1:57 pm ET

Remember the time
We pretended we were bears
And mauled the post man?
Haiku #62932, by Bath Saltz
March 13, 2019 1:38 pm ET

Jesus had it rough
Never had a grandfather
Live in someone's mouth

Who was God's father
Did he have a Godfather
I just can't even
Haiku #62931, by Oh, bother
March 13, 2019 1:36 pm ET

Christian fucking shit.
I should have said Tootsie Roll.
Sometimes we need shit.

YouTube Jesus spam.
If he were real, he'd be proud.
Bathroom wall scripture!
Haiku #62930, by df
March 13, 2019 1:11 pm ET

https://youtu.be/L4e2ST3evmU
Haiku #62929, by 2nd one is good
March 13, 2019 12:27 pm ET

Granddad's foul anus
has always lived in my mouth.
Ask him; he's right here...

Yep, that Figpucker
grandson o' mine loves to eat
old mens' foul arseholes.
Haiku #62928, by df
March 13, 2019 7:58 am ET

Grand-dad's foul anus
Lives again in your own mouth.
Or is it your mind?
Haiku #62927, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2019 7:11 am ET