Have you sinned today?
Remember, if you don't sin,
Jesus died in vain.

Let's go on Maury.
Darth, yes you are the father!
Cough up child support.

You were really drunk.
I don't think you'd remember.
But pics are online.

Could not be pregnant
Unless you can get that way
Thinking dirty thoughts

Fools gold down his pants
Mine shaft caved in round the back
Eight midgets feared dead

Would you ask Jesus
where he got his nails done?
Get it - his nails!

Which animal's shit
stinks worse than all the others.
Fill your car with it.

You smell like haiku!
Subtly offensive, yet...
No, it's not subtle.

The shit of dingos
that ate genocide babies
at blood-diamond graves.

That's what you smell like.
You dead stupid billionaire.
Praise the golden cock!

Worship erections.
Boner pokes through your coffin.
Gold diggers' respect.

You must be pregnant.
What should we name our baby?
Figpucker Junior?

Why do I crave ham?
I want kosher dill pickles
I could drink the brine

blizzard shoots snow spears
white blanket eight feet deep covers
stirring snowdrops bulbs sprout

We can t get married
Until I introduce you
To my big chin hair

We can

When was the last time
You really had a good day
Do you remember?

Darkened corridor
Sign says HAPPY BIRTHDAY Darth
Is this the psych ward?

Plans for the weekend
Nail trimming, pimple popping
Nervous pacing, more sighing

Trespassers footsteps
I set up a booby trap
Caught him in my bra

Trespassers footsteps
I

Hey we aint babies
We live here under her skirts
Circus fat lady

Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Drinks are on the house
All you can eat surf and turf
Try our homemade pies

First it was Fleshlght
You doink hairy coconut?
Cue Merv Griffin song

Just one more update:
straight to hell with Globalism.

(what is "Globalism"?)

When I said "I do"
I got tropical pussy
until it gets old.

Shut your cat-pussy.
Don't even bother. Just STOP.
Library of lies.

Meanwhile Wong Lofan
Must be watching Hannity
and dreaming of past.

I will write and write.
More poetic farts released.
Now it smells like Darth.

Ok sorry I
am just a humble haiku
in your bright toilet

Jap Haiku suck-wad.
Eat my syllabic content.
Your mother's foul spawn.

Girls in the Boy Scouts?
Only if they get naked!
That would be okay.

Haiku shut fuck-face
You vile piece of stinking verse...
May your dead soul burn.

The holy union
Of the Lamb and His pure bride.
Now suck on it, fool.

Orange judge your ass.
Shut up you filthy mouth-hole
Trump plus Jesus. YES !

When you say I DO
The mousetrap slams down on it
Now smile and say cheese

Don't get married
Dudes! do not! it is a trap!
You will be sorry!

Masturbation Scouts
Everybody earns a badge
Goal: Spread eagle scout

Girls join the boy scouts?
Morons rule the universe!
leftist idiots...

Stupid is as does.

In my opinion
It's a good thing when you sneeze
It isn't a fart

Orange tornado
Windiest wind we have seen
Blowing from his mouth

If you go to jail
I will visit your penis
Through the cold steel bars

Mathmagician act
Watch him count on his fingers
Fingers disappear

Digital exam
A butthole how do you do
Now, let us fist bump

Augmented matrix.
A matrix with fake titties.
Failed algebra.

A dead mosquito.
Big nose, spindly little legs.
Like an ex girlfriend.

Like that billionaire,
Perhaps I'll get augmented,
Dead with huge "manhood".

This poem is short.
Indeed just like my penis.
I think I will cry.

is it Mike Stivic?
Or Porch poet Shaggy do
He ate my toppings!

Ordered hot Gumbo
A miscommunication (Dumbo flies tonight)
Unexpected bliss
All midget male choir
Elephants never forget
Trunk suction blowjob

Mathematician
of body fluids and shit;
Receive now your crown.

I guess it's not rape
if it is consensual.
Damn pachyderm whores.

How do you get a
poet off your porch? You pay
him for the pizza!