BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
196 Days
67572 Haikus
Would you ask Jesus
where he got his nails done?
Get it - his nails!
Haiku #62821, by Please don't be cross with me.
March 8, 2019 11:21 pm ET

Which animal's shit
stinks worse than all the others.
Fill your car with it.

You smell like haiku!
Subtly offensive, yet...
No, it's not subtle.

The shit of dingos
that ate genocide babies
at blood-diamond graves.

That's what you smell like.
You dead stupid billionaire.
Praise the golden cock!

Worship erections.
Boner pokes through your coffin.
Gold diggers' respect.
Haiku #62820, by Boners, dead babies, and farts. Yippee! of Oh, and dead billionaires too! Hooray!
March 8, 2019 11:20 pm ET

You must be pregnant.
What should we name our baby?
Figpucker Junior?
Haiku #62819, by df
March 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET

Why do I crave ham?
I want kosher dill pickles
I could drink the brine
Haiku #62818, by I must be crazy
March 8, 2019 11:04 pm ET

blizzard shoots snow spears
white blanket eight feet deep covers
stirring snowdrops bulbs sprout
Haiku #62817, by Christos Victor of now
March 8, 2019 11:01 pm ET

We can t get married
Until I introduce you
To my big chin hair
Haiku #62816, by Let s do this right
March 8, 2019 10:55 pm ET

We can
Haiku #62815, by Lets do this right
March 8, 2019 10:54 pm ET

When was the last time
You really had a good day
Do you remember?
Haiku #62814, by Cliff Flinger
March 8, 2019 10:46 pm ET

Darkened corridor
Sign says HAPPY BIRTHDAY Darth
Is this the psych ward?
Haiku #62813, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2019 10:38 pm ET

Plans for the weekend
Nail trimming, pimple popping
Nervous pacing, more sighing
Haiku #62812, by Busy
March 8, 2019 10:34 pm ET

Trespassers footsteps
I set up a booby trap
Caught him in my bra
Haiku #62811, by Jugs Malone
March 8, 2019 9:59 pm ET

Trespassers footsteps
Haiku #62810, by Jugs Malone
March 8, 2019 9:58 pm ET

Hey we aint babies
We live here under her skirts
Circus fat lady
Haiku #62809, by Big Time of Big Top
March 8, 2019 9:55 pm ET

Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Haiku #62808, by Big Time of Big Top
March 8, 2019 9:53 pm ET

Delivery room
Hairy midget octuplets
All born fully clothed

Haiku #62807, by Big Time of Big Top
March 8, 2019 9:52 pm ET

Drinks are on the house
All you can eat surf and turf
Try our homemade pies
Haiku #62806, by Out of business
March 8, 2019 9:46 pm ET

First it was Fleshlght
You doink hairy coconut?
Cue Merv Griffin song
Haiku #62805, by Starkitten
March 8, 2019 8:52 pm ET

Just one more update:
straight to hell with Globalism.

(what is "Globalism"?)
Haiku #62804, by Idiots Watching MSM of Newspeak Over Your Daddy's Grave
March 8, 2019 8:05 pm ET

When I said "I do"
I got tropical pussy
until it gets old.
Haiku #62803, by Nut Brown Maiden of My Dreams
March 8, 2019 7:23 pm ET

Shut your cat-pussy.
Don't even bother. Just STOP.
Library of lies.
Haiku #62802, by I am worse than "MOXIE" of Old Archived Poems
March 8, 2019 7:20 pm ET

Meanwhile Wong Lofan
Must be watching Hannity
and dreaming of past.
Haiku #62801, by Grave of online futility
March 8, 2019 7:16 pm ET

I will write and write.
More poetic farts released.
Now it smells like Darth.
Haiku #62800, by Darth Fig-Kitten of NW Fart Library of Stars
March 8, 2019 7:12 pm ET

Ok sorry I
am just a humble haiku
in your bright toilet
Haiku #62799, by Darth and Starkitten of bring out the worst in me
March 8, 2019 7:09 pm ET

Jap Haiku suck-wad.
Eat my syllabic content.
Your mother's foul spawn.
Haiku #62798, by Conservative of The New Counter-Culture with guns
March 8, 2019 7:06 pm ET

Girls in the Boy Scouts?
Only if they get naked!
That would be okay.
Haiku #62797, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2019 7:04 pm ET

Haiku shut fuck-face
You vile piece of stinking verse...
May your dead soul burn.
Haiku #62796, by That goes for all of you of KISS MY ASSURANCE OF FAITH ALL CAPS
March 8, 2019 7:03 pm ET

The holy union
Of the Lamb and His pure bride.
Now suck on it, fool.
Haiku #62795, by Jesus will judge your sorry ass of I'm supposed to LOVE you...
March 8, 2019 7:00 pm ET

Orange judge your ass.
Shut up you filthy mouth-hole
Trump plus Jesus. YES !
Haiku #62794, by Whine about Cheeto-man but you still suck of Day Late Dollar Short
March 8, 2019 6:34 pm ET

When you say I DO
The mousetrap slams down on it
Now smile and say cheese
Haiku #62793, by I don't
March 8, 2019 5:06 pm ET

Don't get married
Dudes! do not! it is a trap!
You will be sorry!
Haiku #62792, by Walt Tripp of Black Duck Mn.
March 8, 2019 5:01 pm ET

Masturbation Scouts
Everybody earns a badge
Goal: Spread eagle scout
Haiku #62791, by Cat Raver of End of banana
March 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Girls join the boy scouts?
Morons rule the universe!
leftist idiots...

Stupid is as does.
Haiku #62790, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 8, 2019 4:50 pm ET

In my opinion
It's a good thing when you sneeze
It isn't a fart
Haiku #62789, by Glass half full of Wonderful World of Wondering
March 8, 2019 4:44 pm ET

Orange tornado
Windiest wind we have seen
Blowing from his mouth
Haiku #62788, by Tornado of Foolishness
March 8, 2019 3:35 pm ET

If you go to jail
I will visit your penis
Through the cold steel bars
Haiku #62787, by Sister Prejac of Soy lent green mile
March 8, 2019 2:39 pm ET

Mathmagician act
Watch him count on his fingers
Fingers disappear

Digital exam
A butthole how do you do
Now, let us fist bump
Haiku #62786, by What did I just watch of Tootsie rolls factory
March 8, 2019 2:36 pm ET

Augmented matrix.
A matrix with fake titties.
Failed algebra.
Haiku #62785, by df [1 2 3] ( o )( o )
March 8, 2019 2:25 pm ET

A dead mosquito.
Big nose, spindly little legs.
Like an ex girlfriend.
Haiku #62784, by And sucks as hard too!
March 8, 2019 2:22 pm ET

Like that billionaire,
Perhaps I'll get augmented,
Dead with huge "manhood".
Haiku #62783, by Man hood on your manhood. Foreskin afterthought. Not Jewish.
March 8, 2019 2:20 pm ET

This poem is short.
Indeed just like my penis.
I think I will cry.
Haiku #62782, by df
March 8, 2019 2:12 pm ET

is it Mike Stivic?
Or Porch poet Shaggy do
He ate my toppings!
Haiku #62781, by Lovebeads of 17 foot tall hippie robot
March 8, 2019 12:10 pm ET

Ordered hot Gumbo
A miscommunication (Dumbo flies tonight)
Unexpected bliss
All midget male choir
Elephants never forget
Trunk suction blowjob
Haiku #62780, by See my dust of Sawdust
March 8, 2019 12:07 pm ET

of body fluids and shit;
Receive now your crown.
Haiku #62779, by Parabolic Augmentation of Filth
March 8, 2019 8:42 am ET

I guess it's not rape
if it is consensual.
Damn pachyderm whores.
Haiku #62778, by Consensual is sensual. of Rape is for apes
March 8, 2019 8:04 am ET

How do you get a
poet off your porch? You pay
him for the pizza!
Haiku #62777, by old one of but true
March 8, 2019 8:01 am ET

Raping elephants.
They tighten their proboscis.
I give them peanuts.
Haiku #62776, by Darth Figpucker of San Diego Zoo
March 8, 2019 7:59 am ET

One plus one is two.
Now that might be permanent.
But not sure it's true.
Haiku #62775, by The Count of Seseme Street
March 8, 2019 7:57 am ET

Nothing's permanent.
Not even God in Heaven.
Though He says He is.
Haiku #62774, by God lies. of But what do you expect.
March 8, 2019 7:55 am ET

Let's not forget snot.
Natural KY Jelly.
Now I'll rape your nose.
Haiku #62773, by df of squish squish squish... HA-CHOOO!
March 8, 2019 7:51 am ET

Ha ha: poop and piss.
Reproductive organs. Wow.
Bestial best of Darth. . .
Haiku #62772, by Permanent Bathroom Humor of Figpucker (yawn)
March 8, 2019 7:38 am ET