BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
29 Days
and
66562 Haikus
later...
The holy union
Of the Lamb and His pure bride.
Now suck on it, fool.
Haiku #62795, by Jesus will judge your sorry ass of I'm supposed to LOVE you...
March 8, 2019 7:00 pm ET

Orange judge your ass.
Shut up you filthy mouth-hole
Trump plus Jesus. YES !
Haiku #62794, by Whine about Cheeto-man but you still suck of Day Late Dollar Short
March 8, 2019 6:34 pm ET

When you say I DO
The mousetrap slams down on it
Now smile and say cheese
Haiku #62793, by I don't
March 8, 2019 5:06 pm ET

Don't get married
Dudes! do not! it is a trap!
You will be sorry!
Haiku #62792, by Walt Tripp of Black Duck Mn.
March 8, 2019 5:01 pm ET

Masturbation Scouts
Everybody earns a badge
Goal: Spread eagle scout
Haiku #62791, by Cat Raver of End of banana
March 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Girls join the boy scouts?
Morons rule the universe!
leftist idiots...

Stupid is as does.
Haiku #62790, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 8, 2019 4:50 pm ET

In my opinion
It's a good thing when you sneeze
It isn't a fart
Haiku #62789, by Glass half full of Wonderful World of Wondering
March 8, 2019 4:44 pm ET

Orange tornado
Windiest wind we have seen
Blowing from his mouth
Haiku #62788, by Tornado of Foolishness
March 8, 2019 3:35 pm ET

If you go to jail
I will visit your penis
Through the cold steel bars
Haiku #62787, by Sister Prejac of Soy lent green mile
March 8, 2019 2:39 pm ET

Mathmagician act
Watch him count on his fingers
Fingers disappear

Digital exam
A butthole how do you do
Now, let us fist bump
Haiku #62786, by What did I just watch of Tootsie rolls factory
March 8, 2019 2:36 pm ET

Augmented matrix.
A matrix with fake titties.
Failed algebra.
Haiku #62785, by df [1 2 3] ( o )( o )
March 8, 2019 2:25 pm ET

A dead mosquito.
Big nose, spindly little legs.
Like an ex girlfriend.
Haiku #62784, by And sucks as hard too!
March 8, 2019 2:22 pm ET

Like that billionaire,
Perhaps I'll get augmented,
Dead with huge "manhood".
Haiku #62783, by Man hood on your manhood. Foreskin afterthought. Not Jewish.
March 8, 2019 2:20 pm ET

This poem is short.
Indeed just like my penis.
I think I will cry.
Haiku #62782, by df
March 8, 2019 2:12 pm ET

is it Mike Stivic?
Or Porch poet Shaggy do
He ate my toppings!
Haiku #62781, by Lovebeads of 17 foot tall hippie robot
March 8, 2019 12:10 pm ET

Ordered hot Gumbo
A miscommunication (Dumbo flies tonight)
Unexpected bliss
All midget male choir
Elephants never forget
Trunk suction blowjob
Haiku #62780, by See my dust of Sawdust
March 8, 2019 12:07 pm ET

Mathematician
of body fluids and shit;
Receive now your crown.
Haiku #62779, by Parabolic Augmentation of Filth
March 8, 2019 8:42 am ET

I guess it's not rape
if it is consensual.
Damn pachyderm whores.
Haiku #62778, by Consensual is sensual. of Rape is for apes
March 8, 2019 8:04 am ET

How do you get a
poet off your porch? You pay
him for the pizza!
Haiku #62777, by old one of but true
March 8, 2019 8:01 am ET

Raping elephants.
They tighten their proboscis.
I give them peanuts.
Haiku #62776, by Darth Figpucker of San Diego Zoo
March 8, 2019 7:59 am ET

One plus one is two.
Now that might be permanent.
But not sure it's true.
Haiku #62775, by The Count of Seseme Street
March 8, 2019 7:57 am ET

Nothing's permanent.
Not even God in Heaven.
Though He says He is.
Haiku #62774, by God lies. of But what do you expect.
March 8, 2019 7:55 am ET

Let's not forget snot.
Natural KY Jelly.
Now I'll rape your nose.
Haiku #62773, by df of squish squish squish... HA-CHOOO!
March 8, 2019 7:51 am ET

Ha ha: poop and piss.
Reproductive organs. Wow.
Bestial best of Darth. . .
Haiku #62772, by Permanent Bathroom Humor of Figpucker (yawn)
March 8, 2019 7:38 am ET

That's not my pizza.
That's a barbecued lemur.
And it's way too small.
Haiku #62771, by Goddamn pigmy hunters turned deliveryman.
March 8, 2019 5:20 am ET

I think I would say
My delivery is here
Sooner than I thought
Haiku #62770, by 17 foot tall robot enthusiast of I'm not a robot but my robot sure is
March 8, 2019 4:05 am ET

What if I told you
There's a seventeen foot tall
Robot at your door?
Haiku #62769, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2019 3:19 am ET

Glass of orange juice
Tuna sandwich on whole wheat
Fritos corn chips, please
Haiku #62768, by The perfect meal
March 8, 2019 3:17 am ET

Men in the white coats:
"Another crazy poet"
"Lobotomy, stat."
Haiku #62767, by Ann S. Thetized
March 8, 2019 3:15 am ET

Foot long frankfurters
Nestled in your fresh, warm buns
What's not to relish?
Haiku #62766, by Concession Confessions of Midway
March 8, 2019 2:51 am ET

Hot dog ministry
Where is your church located?
Down inside my pants
Haiku #62765, by Minister (coincidentally he was a midget)
March 8, 2019 2:45 am ET

Is the mirror cracked?
No, that's not your reflection
You gaze at my butt
Haiku #62764, by Brown lipstick
March 8, 2019 2:39 am ET

Once upon a time
Two ugly people had sex
That's where I came from
Haiku #62763, by Came from Cum
March 8, 2019 2:33 am ET

Word to your mother
Whatever the heck that means
Just want to say it
Haiku #62762, by Craziest Poet ever
March 8, 2019 2:26 am ET

Hanker for salmon?
Just turn your trout inside out
No, not your trousers
Haiku #62761, by Greased up gonads of I need a big hug from god
March 8, 2019 2:24 am ET

Going out of style
Crazy beards and flowing robes
Biblical boho
Haiku #62760, by Bogus Vogue
March 8, 2019 2:20 am ET

Nothing could stop them
Natural born performers
The show must go on

Herds of elephants
Defecating in sawdust
Fat ladies, gorging

Circus life is rough
Get shot out of a cannon
Hob gobbling dwarf knob
Haiku #62759, by Ex circus performer
March 8, 2019 2:18 am ET

Oh, those Gokden Grahams
Son of a biscuit, you guessed it
Oompa Loompa Sauce
Haiku #62758, by Willy Wanka
March 8, 2019 2:10 am ET

*Holds out the grahams
while eagerly awaiting
sweet soggy biscuits.
Haiku #62757, by df of If midget spooge is marshmallow, I hate to think what's the chocolate.
March 8, 2019 1:09 am ET

S'more til you're sore
Manly midgets
masturbate
Making marshmallows
Haiku #62756, by God
March 8, 2019 12:58 am ET

No cholesterol
Greasy butt margarine paste
Made from cat anus
Haiku #62755, by Stinks like tuna
March 7, 2019 11:48 pm ET

Vertical Viewing
Vacant vented vagina
Velvety Venus
Haiku #62754, by Venus need penus
March 7, 2019 11:45 pm ET

This really strange fad,
Japanese bagel-head kids.
What's THAT all about?!
Haiku #62753, by almost makes me not want to eat bagels again.... almost. of In search of Salmon in a 3rd world shitehole. Unlikely.
March 7, 2019 11:43 pm ET

Very Horny Skunk.
Vaginal Hoarfrost Syndrome.
Vapid Hung Scrotum.

Vacuous Hot Slime.
Vain Horrific Syllables.
Vipers Having Sex.

Veins Hating Steroids.
Vacuuming Happy Servant.
Vulvae Humping Shafts.
Haiku #62752, by
March 7, 2019 11:30 pm ET

The trunk of the car
In amongst the groceries
Lord, Richard Simmons!
Haiku #62751, by Oldie of Sweating
March 7, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Living your best life
Living large, dressed to the nines
Epic shoplifting
Haiku #62750, by Frugalista of Out the door
March 7, 2019 9:51 pm ET

The call is for you
Some Hollywood director
You're going places
Haiku #62749, by Star of Hollywood
March 7, 2019 9:47 pm ET

Being Buddha sucks
Intestinal blockage bloat
Stuck sitting so still

Hear me out on this
Depict perpetual bliss
Toilet under him
Haiku #62748, by Brainstorming
March 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET

No shortage of Spooge
The very dawn of mankind
A Giant Spoogeball
Haiku #62747, by Carl of Cosmos
March 7, 2019 7:46 pm ET

VHS will sigh,
I wish I had been nicer
To those millionaires
Haiku #62746, by Millionaire of Bank
March 7, 2019 7:43 pm ET